Anger Survey (about bpi)

[admin]

Louise, oh my God, you hit it on the nose! It's one thing to be injured, but it's just unbelievable what we have to go through to fight for our children. Every single day since my child was born I have to fight someone for something. And then I have to sit in depositions and listen to defense attorneys question me to figure out just how they are going to snag me and make me look like a bad mother. As if missing two therapy appointments over 4 years makes me an abusive mother who doesn't care about her child's recovery. They're going to find any which way to bash me in front of a jury and that's just not right! I didn't do this! I didn't plan this! This is not my idea of a fun thing to happen just so that we can try and screw the insurance system out of some money. Where are their heads? Where are the heads of people walking down the street who point and laugh? Where are the heads of the insurance companies who cut of therapy, fully knowing that this is a lifetime injury? Where are heads of the doctors who COMPLETELY KNOW what it is and how to repair it and they still say JUST WAIT AND SEE and let's not forget OH YES - THIS HAPPENED IN UTERO!! BRAINLESS, CRUEL, CORRUPT, DISGUSTING AND MANY MORE WORDS I CAN'T EVEN GRASP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M' SO ANGRY. I hope those damn defense attorneys are reading this and those damn doctors, every single one of them. Damn you all! You should thank God every single day that YOUR CHILD doesn't have this injury and that you don't have to go through the hell we have to go through and our kids have to go through!

[NancyP]

I am angry that my daughter told me that everyone else in her class' arms were growing but hers wasn't.

I am angry that we fight for every little thing my daughter needs, the insurance companies make it so difficult.

I am angry that we have gotten 7 different prognosis from 2 different doctors (we don't see them anymore)

I am angry that the ob did not step in when the resident was delivering my daughter.

I am angry that the resident joked as he was packing me and sewing me up about how my regular ob (who happened to be on mat. leave) owed them a pizza for "this one".

I am angry that we have to travel so far to see a wonderful team of specialists.

I am angry that we have to leave our younger son to go to these doctors.

I am angry that my daughter will never know what it feels like to use both arms and hands.

I am angry that she will have to face ridicule from kids at school.

I am angry that people are ignorant and tacky and focus their questions about the injury to my daughter.

I am angry (and proud) that my daughter feels like she has to explain. She tells every one she sees that she has "bracial plexus"

I am angry that she has had 4 surgeries and has at least a couple of more to go.

I am angry that I still cannot talk about my feelings for this issue with out crying.

Nancy

[Tessie258]

I can't really add anymore to these other posts because I am so angry about all the same things!!! I relate so well with what all the others have posted that it's scary!!!

I hate that I have all these feelings inside but I can't take the time to really look at them very hard or I would go crazy....I have the children to take care of I don't have time to freak out which is what I want to do if I think too hard about all this. I hate that the midwife who did this almost 13 years ago and she was VERY negligent...doesn't even probably recall that she did it.

I hate that my son abhors school with all his heart and gets F's and he's a smart kid!! I hate that he has had to feel so low about himself that he's thought of taking his own life....I really hate that this isn't going to go away.

Once when my other son had pnuemonia and was in the hospital I talked to every doctor there to try to spread awareness and they would just look at me as if I was the ignorant one and say that statistics show these kids get better....@#@$%$#@....what kind of bull is that??? I wanted to slap them and say look at my son does he look "better" to you??? But I don't because that would injure my son's spirit and I won't do that to him...but he is getting older and wanting to slap people himself....I'm angry that he has to learn to cope civily in an uncivilized ignorant medical society(world)(Oh they pretend to be civilized but when you have doctors that lie on the stand and doctor medical record to suit themselves-that's not civil).
I'm too angry to even write more....I think I'll go take a nap and shove it all back down inside so I won't go nuts on anyone.
T.

[Georgeann P]

I am angry about many of the things people already mentioned but here are some additions:

I am angry that my check book never balances anymore and the bills keep coming!

I am angry that my saving account is going down instead of up!

I am angry that this injury affects the whole and extended family!

I am angry that we have to take "surgery vacations" to Texas without our older two children!

I am angry that we have not been able to take our son and daughters to Disney World as we had planned!

I am angry that I was never told any risks for my baby when using the vacuum extractor at birth!

I am angry that people say, "it is only his arm, it could have been worse!" I just want to throw up on them!

[admin]

I know the article is on Anger, but heres a response from a parent without anger. I agree with Mandie.

I'm thrilled we have a beautiful little girl who brings so much joy to us.

I'm grateful for the days she drives me up the wall and gives me more grey hair then I care to count.

I'm grateful for not feeling anger at my doctor or the medical profession.

We're not angry about driving to therapy two times a week. It's just another stop before driving to school.

I'm not angry at someones ignorance on the subject, I just explain and move on. If you haven't experienced OBPI, you wouldn't have a reason to know about it.

I'm grateful to have a support group such as this one to provide information and moral support.

I'm grateful that I can look at my daughter and accept her for who she is without feeling anger or hate for the doctor who pulled her out.

I'm grateful for the doctors/medical professionals who take the time to learn and educate themselves on this injury to make progress and changes where needed in the future.

I'm grateful for everyday I wake-up and smell the coffee regardless of what trials and turbulations lie ahead of me for the day.

I'm grateful I'm a woman .................

[admin]

In addition to everything else posted on this boards....I am angry because this injury occured at the hands of the GOVERNMENT

I am angry that my husband was defending EVERYONE's freedom when it did happen.

I am angry that they were not able to be HONEST with us and told me I WAS CRAZY

I am angry that I had to get an ATTORNEY to fight for my BABY's rights.

I am angry that everytime I needed to take my baby to the GREATEST doctor's... I had to threaten the GOVERNment with the media....

I am angry that they have the nerve to blame me for my baby's injury.

I am angry at all the people who made fun of my baby because he couldn't hold his own bottle, couldn't crawl.

I am angry because my own father called my baby inperfect....needless to say....we don't talk anymore.

I am soooo angry at those who told me to get an attorney and then turned their back on me because I DID !!!

I am angry that so many adults can poke fun before asking questions as to what is wrong...

I am angry that the GOVERNMENT doesn't require their doctor's to be board certified to practice medicine in their hospitals

I am angry that we as parents have to FIGHT for everything for our very perfect and wonderful children.

I am angry that I didn't act like the bitch they made me out to be.....maybe I could've prevented it.

I am angry because they felt as if they could treat me and my baby as their guinea pig.

I am angry because the GOVERNMENT has forced my HUSBAND out of the MILITARY.....as they have so many other families because they (THE GOVERNMENT) have injured their child, mother, father, husband or wife.

I am angry at all the lies.....

I AM HOWEVER VERY GRATEFUL TO ALL THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE I HAVE MET THROUGH THIS MESSAGE BOARD......AND I NEVER WILL REGRET THAT I HAD MY BABY AND THE HE SUSTAINED THIS INJURY....IT HAS MADE ME A BETTER PERSON AS A RESULT !!!!!


Although I have ill feeling toward the government, I still appreciate all that the armed forces do for us as a country and that they are there to protect us from the bad people out there.....God BLESS THE USA and thank you to all who serve to PROTECT OUR FREEDOM !!!

[Julie]

I am angry that I have to even make a list like this.

I am angry that the OB never warned me of the risks of a second delivery after my first daughter's clavicle was broken by the same OB.

I am angry that I felt that I was to blame for my daughter's injury.

I am angry that the OB, hospital nurses, and hospital pediatrician told me that my daughter's clavicle was broken yet her arm was totally limp. (It wasn't until several hours later when my daughter's pediatrician came to the hospital to examine her was I told differently.)

I am angry that the OB left the room very quickly after the delivery, never came back to talk to me, never apologized for what happened, and lied in the medical records to cover her a**.

I am angry that I was told by the pediatrician that 85-90% of the BPIs heal on their own and there is no surgery if they don't.

I am angry that I had to listen to my daughter's screams for several days after she was brought home from the hospital.

I am angry that I wasn't told how severe my daughter's injury was until she was a month old.

I am angry that I had to do all the reasearch to find out about surgerical options, BP clinics, ROM exercises, etc. rather than get the information from our local medical community.

I am angry about all the tears that I have shed, all the sleepless nights, all the worries about upcoming surgeries, etc.

I am angry about not having time for my older child, having to leave her home while we travel to Texas for surgery, making her feel less important because she is not getting all the "attention" that her sister is.

I am angry about not being able to listen to Lee Ann Womack's song "I Hope You Dance" without crying thinking of my daughter and her future.

I am angry that everytime I do something with my two hands I find myself wondering if my daughter will ever be able to do it too.

I am angry anytime I hear someone having a "pity party" for the medical profession and talking about the high cost of medical malpractice insurance. What about the impact on my daughter's life due to a doctor's blatent disregard for proper medical care?

I am angry that my daughter's first birthday was not a joyous event but rather an opportunity for me to re-live the delivery in mind over and over again.

I am angry that my husband and I have had to seek counseling to deal with our anger so that it does not negatively impact our relationship or our relationship with our children.

I am angry that I can't look at my daughter without looking at her arm.

I am angry that my daughter's life is full of therapy, surgeries, recovering from surgeries, doctors appts., etc.

I am angry at the insurance companies wanting to be repaid for medical costs when we have been paying premiums for coverage in case something happens.

I am angry that my baby has been affected for the rest of her life and the OB is not even giving her a second thought.

(Sorry for such a long list, but I don't have too many friends who care to hear about my daughter's injury any more. The "novelty" has worn off I guess.)

[staycee]

First off
I am thankful for my son!

But
I am angry that he had to and has to suffer with this injury for his whole life.
I am angry that while all the children are in the yard playing obsticle course he's sitting in the house because he's unsure of what he can actually do.
I am angry that he will always be different in how he does things
I am angry that the OB is still delivering babies when she does not care enough to do it right
I am angry about so much and people just don't understand that little things mean alot when it's your child that can't do it.
and I will end it here with
I am angry that my son cannot eat something so simple as a taco because he it's impossible to eat a taco with one hand.
Stacy

[Missy]

First off, I want to say that I feel truly blessed to have my son. We were close to not having him...so I am deeply thankful that we do. He is the love of my life.

I guess that I am more sad than angry though. I think that Staycee hit the nail on the head when she said that she can't look at her child without looking at his arm.

I can't look at Mitchell without looking at his arm too. I watch the way he "carries" it when he walks, runs, opens a door, eats, etc., etc...
I keep checking to see if his gait has changed, I'm constantly looking at his back to see if his scoliosis is getting worse. I watch the way he reaches over to scratch his non-injured arm. I look at the size differences of both arms daily...and I wonder if others see the same things I do.

All of these things leave me sad...make my heart heavy...give me a heavy weight on my shoulders and chest. More than anything, I don't want to pity Mitchell because he is SO independant and self-sufficent...but there is a part of me that does pity him. I guess that's what comes with being a mom.

It also makes me sad that I have to have a long talk with school teachers and gym teachers about Mitchell's injury before the start of the school year. I don't want them to look at him differently!! Or to bring unwanted attention to him. Mitchell is so modest!

What DOES make me mad is that I (we...Gregg and I) didn't have the balls (excuse my expression) to sue the pants off of my OBGYN. We were young, naive, and too blindsided to know any different. I AM mad about the lies that were told to us about his "recovery on his own". Those things make me mad.

But mostly, I'm sad because he's so INNOCENT. Just a young little kid who is bright, interesting, loving and gentle. I don't want him to have to struggle with life's little things when there are "big" things that he's going to have to struggle with too. The normal big stuff. I just want it to be easy for him...like it will be for his brother. I don't want him to worry about things like surgery and therapy and being careful of his arm. He always hears that from me when he's playing rough (like boys do). "Be careful Mitchell! Don't hurt your arm."

Just makes me sad. I just worry. Because I love him so much. I want him to be alright.