Currently there is a team of psychologists and therapists (PTs) writing an article about anger pertaining to bpi injuries.
Can you help them by writing a post about what you are angry about - concerning this injury.
Keep each item as short as you possibly can - as many items as you can think of.
Thank you.
-francine
ps - I know that we try to stay as positive as possible on here and I don't want to start a negative trend but I also think it would be helpful if we are able to just state what we are angry about....many of us hold it in and that's not good either.
Anger Survey (about bpi)
Re: Anger Survey (about bpi)
Hi - just wondering if the article is only pertaining to a parent's perspective or is it going to cover the actual injured person's anger also. Christy
Re: Anger Survey (about bpi)
I am angry that my son has only partial use of his arm due to a PREVENTABLE injury (in our case) that occured at the moment of his entry into this world.
I am angry that the doctor that injured my son accepts no responsibility whatsoever (morally or financially) for his lifelong disability.
I am angry that the medical profession attempts to deny ANY responsibility for this type of injury occuring over and over again.
I am angry that the medical profession is now hurting patients even further in their attempts
to avoid taking any responsibility for this type of injury by refusing to take on new ob patients in a weak and morally repugnant attempt to make a statement.
I am angry that this injury occurs to so many babies!
I am angry that my body was torn apart during my son's delivery, changing my body and my life forever.
I am angry that I did not get to experience a delivery that went "well" as society has led me to expect all my life.
I am angry when people exhibit ignorance and are rude about my son's scars and injury and his abilities.
I am angry that so few people know or even care about this injury (until it happens to them).
I am angry that it is so difficult to get our story told in the media.
I am angry at the nurses who lied in court about what happened during our delivery.
I am angry at the attorney for the doctor who did his best to portray me as a terrible and unfit mother.
I am angry at the jury who believed that the doctor was telling the truth on the stand (he lied outrageously).
I am angry at our insurance company for not paying our medical bills fully, and for making us fight for every penny they do pay.
I am angry at our insurance company for limiting the number of therapy visits regardless of disability or need.
I am angry (still) at my ex-husband for living in denial for so long about our son's injury, refusing to accept reality.
I am angry at my stepfather for not taking a more vocal stand with his medical colleagues on behalf of my son and his injury.
I am angry (more sad than angry though) that so few people are willing to step up to the plate and do anything to help spread awareness...to give back to our community what they take so willingly.
I am angry that I have to struggle with my son each night to wear his dynasplint, which is heavy and cumbersome.
I am angry when I watch my son play baseball and listen to the people laugh at the way he throws his glove down to throw the ball with his right hand.
I am angry when I watch my son struggling to swim across the pool, and proud at the same time when he makes it.
A few comments...
Most of the anger I feel is a very fierce, protective anger. It is not the "lash out and throw things" type of anger, it is a focused, "make something good happen out of this" anger. Also, quite a bit of the anger I feel is laced heavily with sadness about the way the world works in general.
And above all, the anger I feel in no way overshadows or even comes close to approaching the levels of JOY and THANKFULNESS and LOVE that I feel for my son. I could write pages and pages of lists of the ways that Joy infuses my life because of my son.
Yes, I am angry in certain ways and about certain things related to my son's injury. At the same time I fully recognize and appreciate that my son's injury is only a PART of who he is, just as anger is only one of the myriad of emotions I feel.
You have asked for people to share why they are angry, and I have done this, but want you to know that anger does not rule my life, nor pervade it.
I have a fierce pride, joy and love for my son.
Bridget
I am angry that the doctor that injured my son accepts no responsibility whatsoever (morally or financially) for his lifelong disability.
I am angry that the medical profession attempts to deny ANY responsibility for this type of injury occuring over and over again.
I am angry that the medical profession is now hurting patients even further in their attempts
to avoid taking any responsibility for this type of injury by refusing to take on new ob patients in a weak and morally repugnant attempt to make a statement.
I am angry that this injury occurs to so many babies!
I am angry that my body was torn apart during my son's delivery, changing my body and my life forever.
I am angry that I did not get to experience a delivery that went "well" as society has led me to expect all my life.
I am angry when people exhibit ignorance and are rude about my son's scars and injury and his abilities.
I am angry that so few people know or even care about this injury (until it happens to them).
I am angry that it is so difficult to get our story told in the media.
I am angry at the nurses who lied in court about what happened during our delivery.
I am angry at the attorney for the doctor who did his best to portray me as a terrible and unfit mother.
I am angry at the jury who believed that the doctor was telling the truth on the stand (he lied outrageously).
I am angry at our insurance company for not paying our medical bills fully, and for making us fight for every penny they do pay.
I am angry at our insurance company for limiting the number of therapy visits regardless of disability or need.
I am angry (still) at my ex-husband for living in denial for so long about our son's injury, refusing to accept reality.
I am angry at my stepfather for not taking a more vocal stand with his medical colleagues on behalf of my son and his injury.
I am angry (more sad than angry though) that so few people are willing to step up to the plate and do anything to help spread awareness...to give back to our community what they take so willingly.
I am angry that I have to struggle with my son each night to wear his dynasplint, which is heavy and cumbersome.
I am angry when I watch my son play baseball and listen to the people laugh at the way he throws his glove down to throw the ball with his right hand.
I am angry when I watch my son struggling to swim across the pool, and proud at the same time when he makes it.
A few comments...
Most of the anger I feel is a very fierce, protective anger. It is not the "lash out and throw things" type of anger, it is a focused, "make something good happen out of this" anger. Also, quite a bit of the anger I feel is laced heavily with sadness about the way the world works in general.
And above all, the anger I feel in no way overshadows or even comes close to approaching the levels of JOY and THANKFULNESS and LOVE that I feel for my son. I could write pages and pages of lists of the ways that Joy infuses my life because of my son.
Yes, I am angry in certain ways and about certain things related to my son's injury. At the same time I fully recognize and appreciate that my son's injury is only a PART of who he is, just as anger is only one of the myriad of emotions I feel.
You have asked for people to share why they are angry, and I have done this, but want you to know that anger does not rule my life, nor pervade it.
I have a fierce pride, joy and love for my son.
Bridget
Opening a can of worms!!
I am mostly angry that the OB (or anyone for that matter) didn't acknowledge that there was a mistake made. It was as though Avery had a broken toe nail. "Oh, it'll get better; they always do."
I agree. It is difficult to find the fine balance between dealing with the anger and dwelling in it. We should be able to talk about it and work through it. Thanks for the opportunity.
I agree. It is difficult to find the fine balance between dealing with the anger and dwelling in it. We should be able to talk about it and work through it. Thanks for the opportunity.
Re: Anger Survey (about bpi)
I am TBPI so I am not sure if they are looking at our perspective or not. But, if they are....
I was angry that it took 2 years to be diagnosised.
I was angry that once I was diagnosised I had to drive two hours to a doctor and therapist who had a clue.
I am angry that I don't have a BPI doctor now that can help me with the everyday things that come up.
I am angry that I have to self treat BUT thankful I have a primary care doctor that lets me!
I am angry that I can't work. Not sure if it is anger anymore, as much as self loathing. I had worked since I was very young and when I was unable to provide an income it was a devastating blow. One that continues to be an issue. Especially now with Adam going to college.
I am angry that there are days I need help to do the smallest task.
I was angry that my son had so much responsibility thrust on him at a young age. You should not have had to take care of me.
I have put "was" and "am" because there are somethings that I have dealt with and moved on. However, there will always be things that will come up with this injury that will make me angry.
Anger really is a small portion of what I feel. Maybe that is the difference between OBPI and TBPI. I have noone to blame but myself for the injury. I was driving, I made the error. Not a doctor and I injured myself not my child.
Joy
I was angry that it took 2 years to be diagnosised.
I was angry that once I was diagnosised I had to drive two hours to a doctor and therapist who had a clue.
I am angry that I don't have a BPI doctor now that can help me with the everyday things that come up.
I am angry that I have to self treat BUT thankful I have a primary care doctor that lets me!
I am angry that I can't work. Not sure if it is anger anymore, as much as self loathing. I had worked since I was very young and when I was unable to provide an income it was a devastating blow. One that continues to be an issue. Especially now with Adam going to college.
I am angry that there are days I need help to do the smallest task.
I was angry that my son had so much responsibility thrust on him at a young age. You should not have had to take care of me.
I have put "was" and "am" because there are somethings that I have dealt with and moved on. However, there will always be things that will come up with this injury that will make me angry.
Anger really is a small portion of what I feel. Maybe that is the difference between OBPI and TBPI. I have noone to blame but myself for the injury. I was driving, I made the error. Not a doctor and I injured myself not my child.
Joy
Joy in FL is now living in Georgia!
Left TBI on October 31, 1991
Left TBI on October 31, 1991
Re: Anger Survey (about bpi)
Thought of another BIG one:
I am angry at myself for not standing up for myself during my pregnancy when I knew things were not going right...I allowed myself to be patted on the head and treated in a condescending manner instead of demanding real answers for my (as they turned out) very serious concerns.
I am angry at myself for not standing up for myself and my baby during my labor when again, I knew things were not going as they should. Again, I allowed myself to be reassured by nurses and doctors who (as it turned out) did not know what they were doing.
I am angry at myself for not being more proactive in seeking out information when my son was an infant...AGAIN I let myself be reassured by medical professionals that "everything is fine" and "it will resolve on its own" and "he'll be fine in 48 hours...one month...six months..." and that "no one does surgery for this sort of thing" and "wait and see"
I am so angry at myself, and disappointed in myself that I did not trust myself, my intuition, my inner sense and my body, and that this lack of trust/faith in myself caused my baby to be permanently injured.
Anger at myself is probably the biggest and most powerful anger I feel. It has also had the biggest transformational power...I have learned through experience to trust myself, my instinct, my body. It is a gift I cherish now, instead of doubting.
Bridget
I am angry at myself for not standing up for myself during my pregnancy when I knew things were not going right...I allowed myself to be patted on the head and treated in a condescending manner instead of demanding real answers for my (as they turned out) very serious concerns.
I am angry at myself for not standing up for myself and my baby during my labor when again, I knew things were not going as they should. Again, I allowed myself to be reassured by nurses and doctors who (as it turned out) did not know what they were doing.
I am angry at myself for not being more proactive in seeking out information when my son was an infant...AGAIN I let myself be reassured by medical professionals that "everything is fine" and "it will resolve on its own" and "he'll be fine in 48 hours...one month...six months..." and that "no one does surgery for this sort of thing" and "wait and see"
I am so angry at myself, and disappointed in myself that I did not trust myself, my intuition, my inner sense and my body, and that this lack of trust/faith in myself caused my baby to be permanently injured.
Anger at myself is probably the biggest and most powerful anger I feel. It has also had the biggest transformational power...I have learned through experience to trust myself, my instinct, my body. It is a gift I cherish now, instead of doubting.
Bridget
Re: Anger Survey (about bpi)
Ditto to Bridget's list!!!!
Especially to the insurance issue. I'm angry at insurance companies that let bills sit somewhere for 6-12 months before deciding if and when they are going to pay, while I receive the collection notices that should be going to them!
I'm angry at family members who, with the best of intentions, discuss the "arm" as if my daughter isn't attached and isn't present!
I'm angry that I never feel like I'm really in control of the situation -- like I always should be doing more.
But Bridget expressed many of mine VERY well!
Especially to the insurance issue. I'm angry at insurance companies that let bills sit somewhere for 6-12 months before deciding if and when they are going to pay, while I receive the collection notices that should be going to them!
I'm angry at family members who, with the best of intentions, discuss the "arm" as if my daughter isn't attached and isn't present!
I'm angry that I never feel like I'm really in control of the situation -- like I always should be doing more.
But Bridget expressed many of mine VERY well!
Re: CHRISTY - every perspective
Thanks Francine:)
-
carron
Re: - every perspective
I am angry that I could not stop what happen to Thomas
I can't make his pain go away.
I can't help his arm move when he want's
I am angry I have to explain his injury constantly and no one ever understands and says it could be worse he will get better.
I am angry I have to drive 2hrs one way to get therapy
I hate that they said don't worry you will never know in a year. Well its been a year and he still can't move his arm.
I am angry at the hospital for no having a protacal for this injury I was left on my own to do all the research and finding a Doctor and therapist.
I could go on and on but I tried to make it short. It changes everyones life. It's never the same !!
I can't make his pain go away.
I can't help his arm move when he want's
I am angry I have to explain his injury constantly and no one ever understands and says it could be worse he will get better.
I am angry I have to drive 2hrs one way to get therapy
I hate that they said don't worry you will never know in a year. Well its been a year and he still can't move his arm.
I am angry at the hospital for no having a protacal for this injury I was left on my own to do all the research and finding a Doctor and therapist.
I could go on and on but I tried to make it short. It changes everyones life. It's never the same !!