United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Is it possible to hear from teens and/or how having obpi as a teen affected you, ie; self-esteem, sports, dating, etc.
Patty and Paige

As a teen I experienced what I didn't know at the time was discrimination. Getting lower grades in PE classes cause they thought I was just being lazy, told I could never play basketball...things like this. I remember the teacher in Drivers Ed getting on me all the time, cause I didn't hold my hands on the steering wheel at the right places....apparently not concerned that I couldn't.... All of which encouraged me to hide my disablility as much as possible.

Trying to juggle books while trying to open the locker was a chore too....often I had to put them on the floor and then open.

Carrying the lunch tray with one hand.

Socially, I don't think it affected my life as much, other than, possibly, in my own outlook. Like I said...I hid it, and well.

Hi Patricia

I could only speak about this from a mom's point of view. My Jill, now 20, LOBPI, doesn't get on the boards.

I did wonder if you would benefit from reading my post from a long time ago, by the time you read this it will probably be on page 12, and is on the General Message board. Look for WHAT IT IS LIKE GROWING UP WITH A DISABILITY IN THE FAMILY.

Hello, my name is joel and I have OBP. Self esteem, dating, sports and socialization came very hard for me in teen years. There is no magic answer to make any of these topics easier. So I'll offer some advice. Find your childs strengths and exploit them in a subtle way, as to not draw too much attention (personally, I hate to be under the microscope, so to speak). Words of encouragement and being treated "like everyone else" helped me deal with the difficult social aspects endured while growing up. I'd be happy to E-mail you with personal stories, events and accomplishments that may help your son in a difficult time. Make sure he knows that he can't ever give up, if he wants something bad enough, he'll make it happen. Good luck, keep your head up.

Patty and Paige,

This is truly from a teens point of view, I am 17. As far as sports go, I only got into softball, and I love every minute of it. However I have had some trouble with my coach( I dont think he accepted my arm) He was not playing me, and for no reason because I am as good or better than the other girls on the team. So I decided to quit the team, well it only took two games to realize that I was good and he needed me, so I came back and ever since then every thing has been great.

My Erb's Palsy used to get to my self esteem a lot but over the summer I grew up and accepted it more than ever. I just got a new brace and at first I did not want to wear it in public, now I dont care what every one else thinks, if they dont like my arm thats their problem!

As far as dating, I think that my arm has affected me some. Because I go to such a small school every one knows and many dont like differences. That makes it kind of hard to get a date. On the other hand it may not be because of differences, it might be because I have been more shy than others up until this summer.

Well this got really long so I will end it,
Amy

Hi Amy,
I was wondering if you were around and posting. I am back for the summer. You might remember I am Jill's mom LOBPI age 20 now and in college for Art Education.

Great about your baseball. Did you read the fairly recent post, ARTICLE, about a young man that excelled at Baseball with BPI? I'll have to admit, I and all 3 of my daughters were never very sports minded. They tried out a few times but all never felt good enough to stay with any sport.

About Dating. Jill is the youngest of my 3 daughters, and she started dating before her older sisters. So her LOBPI never hurt her as far as dating. I had my daughters close, so all 3 were in High School at the same time. Our school system is consolidated, 7 small towns. Each H.S. class has approximately 150 students each. Each of my daughters have completely different personalities.

I hope you don't mind a little motherly advice, that I gave each of my daughters. I did not allow dating before age 16, but my 2 older daughters were older than that, just because it didn't happen. Now the advice......Most everyone lives alot longer now. Don't be in a rush to date, or get married, or have babies. Most of us are healther and waiting to have your babies until you are in your 30's is O.K. Get your college education first, and have Only Good Clean And Legal Fun, OGCALF. I guess it worked, all 3 in college now. Hope you are considering college. Two of mine went to a Junior college first, before transfering to a 4 year. Hugs, Angela

Amy I found ARTICLE on the General Message Board, and just brought it back up to the top.

Angela,
It is great to hear from you. THanks for the article and the advice. You can email me if you want to at hope16_05@yahoo.com.
Big hugs,
Amy