deposition stress

[admin]

We finally have depositions next week, and I am a wreck. My back is all tight and I'm exhausted but am having trouble sleeping.
Just need to vent-I realize there is nothing anyone can do for me. We just have to get through it.
It is hard to consider that my child's future rides on my performance on Thursday. I am so afraid of saying too much or getting caught in a lawyer trick.
Does anyone who has been through this have any thoughts for me?

[phaliscak]

Your lawyer should be there with you and if there are any questionable questions asked your lawyer will step in and stop it. Mine was with me and in the end my deposition wasn't even brought up during the trial.

Patty

[SpeelmanC]

been there...wasnt expecting the delivering doctor to be there but he was. they thought it would make us more nervous, but we were strong and did not lie about what happened to our daughter and myself. focus on the truth and take your time answering...what ever you do stop and think about your answer before you answer. if you say something in the spur of the moment, you may regret it. remember deep breaths and relax...GOOD LUCK! p.s. we won our case!!!!!!!!!

[admin]

Sorry, there is a computer error and I can't logon anymore...

Well, you said your "child's future rides on my performance on Thursday." This is NOT TRUE!!! There is so much more than just depositions. Yes, they are difficult. Your lawyer is there with you, and you can ask for as many breaks as you need.

Additionally, your child's future is just that: the future. He or she will make of it what you allow. If you encourage and support him or her, then the future is bright. I know it is difficult to do so, but try to keep this part of your life in perspective. Your child probably doesn't even know that you are doing this.

During our depositions, my husband was questioned for 45 minutes. I was questioned for 5 hours. And some of the questions were so incredibly stupid...I actually asked for a break because I couldn't believe that the other lawyer would ask such a question. My lawyer asked him to clarify--which just meant he asked the same stupid question a different way!!! Just think before you speak, and most important: tell the truth.

btw, we successfully settled out of court.

claudia

[admin]

Thanks for encouraging me! I am glad to know about the delivering dr. being at the depo-believe me, I would love it if he showed up! I'd answer every question looking him STRAIGHT in the eye!!! I intend to go to his depo no matter what-I want to see him squirm. Did anyone else go to their dr's deposition? What was it like?

[admin]

I did not go to my doctor's deposition, nor did I go to any of the other depositions.

I do not recommend going to the deposition, and most lawyers do not recommend it. I know you want to see the doctor squirm, but chances are, he (she?) won't. And it is very difficult to hear him lie. Since it is not your deposition, you are not allowed to say a word. Your lawyer has probably questioned you a million times about the events of that day, so he (she?) knows what to look for. If you trust your lawyer, then don't go.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I will say it again...do not look for "closure" in your legal proceedings. My heart breaks for every person who files a lawsuit and loses. However, those who had come to terms with the injury, deal with it better than those who don't. And even for those people who win or settle...if you haven't found "closure" in yourself, then the win is a hollow one. "Closure" or whatever you want to call it, comes from within. It doesn't mean that your aren't saddened by the injury or even sometimes angry, but it means that you have moved on and let go of the blame.

hope it helps,
claudia

[admin]

As with anything, people always have differing perspectives. The doctor was present at my depositions, which I was not prepared for since my lawyer said she would not be. I was also there for hers. I very much wanted to be. I looked her in the eye often but never once did she look at me. When you speak the truth and you are there for your child you somehow find the strength. I was somewhat nervous but actually felt very confident because I spoke the truth, nothing more and nothing less. I had nothing to hide. It is a little disturbing to hear their side, which often is FULL of LIES! Yes, that was a little difficult and I had to try to hold back my expressions or rolling my eyeballs up into my head. The nurses stories were a joke and didn't even match. My lawyer was perfectly fine with my being present during the doctors depos. I was told it was my choice and I am very glad that I went and did not miss out on this experience. Just hearing them, their tone, seeing the body language, expressions, etc., was very different then simply just reading transcripts.

I think we each need to do what feels right to us. If my lawyer would have said no I would have really questioned why, because to me it was important to be there. I think you should have the choice, as long as you can remain composed. I can fully understand why some people might not want to be there. It can be uncomfortable, stressful and emotional, especially as in our case, we sat at a small table and she was practically sitting right across from me, lying through her teeth. Actually though, in the end, it just gave me more strength, determination and commitment to fight and stand for the truth for my child.

Whatever you do, it will work out. You will not blow your child's future. It is common to feel you might have said something the wrong way or forgot something or not match exactly what your husband says. It really isn't a huge deal. Just tell the truth and share what you remember. Do not try to make up anything and if you can't remember just be honest. If some emotions (some tears) come out, that is fine, just gather your thoughts and feelings and continue on. Act calm, confident, respectful and be the likeable person that you are. Answer the questions very briefly and don't elaborate on anything. Feel free to ask for breaks whenever you need and your attorney should give you feedback and suggestions on how depos are going. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[sharlon]

depositions can be very stressful, we attended the depo of the doctor and of course it was difficult to hear his version of what occured, he could not remember most of the delivey except for certain things that would make him not responsible. it was a farce however i think that there is something to be gained by going, just to hear how they are going to set up the events beofre you give your depo. one of the most interesting things i found was that the only nurse who supported his testimony was the one who applied fundal pressure and it you compare their deopsition practically word for word they were the same, right down to "that was the way i was trained" "i do this 100% of the time" it was just too weird
during my depo something that the deposing attorney said really made me mad and i used that anger to get on my game. i just couldn't see letting someone like that get to me.
it is scary but use the anger that you have felt to your advantage. in our case the OB attended the depositions and it was nice to see him sweat, since we settled it was the only chance i would get to actually make him hear our side of the situation, and there is some healing in that
good luck to you

[admin]

Well, it's over and it went much better than I expected. There were some really stupid questions, I guess to throw me off, but they didn't. I told the whole truth. That is all I can do.
The bottom line is that it's over and I did the best I could. Thanks everyone.

[admin]

Null,

What a relief! So glad it is over. Sure feels good to have it behind you, doesn't it? Glad it went well. It feels good and isn't too difficult when you simply tell the truth, huh?

Did you end up sitting in on the doctors depos or not? If so, how did that go?