How do I let go??

[Paula]

Aarons OT came by thurday for his regular therapy session and commented to me that we will have our transitional meeting in March. Hopefully he qualifies. She also informed me that he will start school in Sept!!!???? He will only be 3 yrs old. I am having a really hard time with this now. My baby eats, sleeps and bathes with me. I am never without him. How do I "learn" to let go? I am soooo scared that he will get hurt. I take him McDonalds playplace and he has a hard time leaving me to go play. They grow too fast. : (

[Susie]

We parent in this way too. Could you stay at school with him? I never have left my children crying; I just couldn't do it.

[Francine_Litz]

Your child doesn't HAVE to go to school - EVER! (are homeschooling moms clapping right now??).. especially at age 3!

However, there are alternatives, IF you want to start getting your child involved with other children...

How about a transitional program... like a Mommy & Me type of program where you and your child get an hour or so of playtime in a school environment together... you do some movement, read a story, do some art and have a snack.

Here at our local YMCA there is a preschool program that is only 1 hour a day and each day it's a different thing.... so one day is sports, another day is art, another day is music, another day is cooking..... It's only for 1 hour a day and the moms go work out in the gym at the same time.

Seek and ye shall find

big hugs,
francine

[admin]

Paula:

Okay, so I hear ya! BUT....
Aaron DOES NOT have to go to school this Sept unless you want him to. If you are not comfortable with him going to school yet then let him stay home until next year. Hannah did not go to school until she was 4! Pre K 4 was enough for her to break her in. She didn't need Pre K 3. For Ella, she will go to Pre K 4 also. I am not putting her into school this year b/c I don't think she is ready to leave me. When they are a bit older it is easier to talk to them and help them understand what school is all about. Maybe it will be easier on the two of you if you wait another year. You can make a list of pros and cons if you can't decide. All I know is that it sounds like you should wait until he is 4.
Hey, no kids ever have to leave home for school if you don't want them to. Many children are home schooled although that is not my personal choice.
Hope you start to feel better! Don't do something that you can't imagine happening. If you can't see him in school then wait it out until Aaron is 4!
(((HUGS))) Krista

[Vanda Roseboom]

Hi I agree with the posts that say who says you should let go! I am one of those homeschooling mom's - I kept Richard at home for school till grade four, my daughter till grade three and my last one will go in grade three as well - grade three just seemed a better transition time I thought. "keeping him at home was almost a miss nomer as we just didn't go to a regular school - one day a week my kids went out to a drama club where homeschoolers from age 5 to 15 did a drama production together - one day was piano lesson day, one day was a homeschool group where we did all kinds of cool science experiments together and a very artistic mom taught us art (not just crafts but art)and a group PE class and swimming lessons - this was all done with a homeschool group so the kids made friends they still have to this day, then the kids were involved in community soccer,basketball, and gymnastics, and also the kids clubs at church and sunday school. Our house was always the favorite afterschool house to play in the neighborhood so my kids never lacked social interaction and had a very rich life experience. They had all this and yet didn't have to be separated from the primary social group - the family. I also found it helped me understand exactly how the bpi affected Richard in his learning and school work which helped when he went to school because I was able to advocate really well for him. Homeschool kids typically interact well across the age groups because they spend more time with a variety of ages not just their own age peer group for most of their waking hours - Just ask Francine how well Richard interacted with her Maia even though there is about a seven year age span there -he is equally comfortable with his own age group and his elders. I'm not saying you should necessarily homeschool as long as I did but your child won't miss a thing by having more time with his family especially at age three. The teachers at the school my kids go to now are always telling me how well my kids get along with others and what a positive influence they are in the class and they are straight A students - so no need to rush it. If your gut is telling you no- then why not listen to it.

[Karen Hillyer]

Hi there Paula
I live in the Uk and over here it is usual for children to start full time school at the age of 4 years.
My elder boy Michael has Aspergers syndrome ( a form of Autism - diagnosed at age 8) and I KNEW he wasn't ready for school at age 4 so I kept him out until he was 5 years - whoch was as long as I could keep him out legally and he coped a little better for ahving that year at home.
Do what you feel is right, they are babies for such a short time, and you know your child better than anyone.
Wit gavin (ropbi) he was ready for nursery at age 3 and school at age 4 so I had no problems letting go
of him!
trust your instinct!
Karen

[admin]

Okay, why let go. My son is 5 1/2 and did not go to school till he was 4 1/2 and then reluctantly. My husband worked nights and I days so the he didn't even have to be at a sitters. I banged my head against the wall when I had to put him in pre school. HE is my fourth child and I refuse to let go. He is in Kindergarten now and adjusting well, but the teacher says that I still baby him....well tough. That is my perogative and nobody will change that. He was just a newborn a few days ago and I don't know how he turned five without me noticing. If you don't feel comfortable then by all mean don't send him. I still cry sometimes when I drop him off to kindergarten. I just dropped my hours at work so I could be home with him in the morning and I don't regret my single minute of it. HE still sleeps with me when my husband is not home and usually ends up smack in the middle of us at about 4:00 a.s when my husband is home. This too will pass, but for now I am loving EVERY MINUTE of it!!!!

[admin]

I put my son in pre-school when he was 3 ONLY for social interaction with other children his age. I am a bit shy and had difficulty finding other moms locally for "play dates". We did Gymboree and Mommy and Me, but I was there, and it wasn't the kind of playing with other kids that I was striving for. I was and am very attached to him. He STILL co-sleeps with us and he's almost 5! With that said, I think a child does need some time with other kids and to do his or her own thing. It was very difficult for me to send him to school, but it was only 2 times a week for 2 1/2 hours. I got used to it quickly and he really LOVED it. I would not have sent him full-time, it's just too much at that age (I feel), but part-time was really nice for him.

Now, he is NOT my BPI child, so maybe there will be other feelings when that comes to pass. My BPI child is only 10 months old so I have awhile before it will be time for preschool.

Just my 2 cents!

[admin]

I think we all can relate. My year old will be in kindergarden in the fall. I am worried already. I worry about the bus, if he will find it after school, I worry if kids will pick on him etc. BUt these things were all done to me when I was young and I turned out fine, I think. Try not to worry. Is this only baby? Since i have had my second I do not worry as much.

[admin]

Hi, you will worry about your child forever! but the truth is your child will have a life I promise. Let the child try!! Hold him when he finds things that he cant do,and find joy in his ability to overcome Erbs!! I am 50 and my mom told me she wish she could made my life easer and she couldnt.she died with me holding her with my good arm!! I am a semi driver and a Master Diver !! she new this and died,She smiled and died!! Remebmer that you always care!! The Erbs always hurts the parent and child!! If I can help I will.Tom