United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

My daughter is 17 months whith a left BPI. We are thinking of having another child but I am scared. Does anyone have any advice on having another child? I think that I might be pregnant right now and I am very nervous. For those of you with more than one child do you feel the same towards all your children? I am afraid of loving my daughter more than my next child because of everything that we have been through together. I am also scared that my second child could get hurt during delivery, even with a c-section. Please Help!!!!!!!!
Tabi's mom

It's a very personal decision on what to do. There are risks involved with everything in life. My first child was born with a bpi injury. To make a long story short I was supposed to have a c-section then I had to have a consult with a high risk ob and he said no c. My ob failed to diagnose gestational diabetes which I have found most in my area do. They do not use the Carpenter Coustan conversion for the three hour test. I guess my advice to you would be is to get involved as much as you can with your healthcare as possible, ask questions, and when you get the answers research them to make sure you feel comfortable with what they are telling you.

Cindy

Hi Tabi's mom.
I have a slightly different perspective as Josh, right bpi, is my youngest child of 4.
Theres just one thing I wanted to share, I had the same fears of 'how can I love another child as much as my first', I think this is natural to most moms during second prgnancy anyway.

My eldest so loves his 3 siblings, it really did so much for him to be part of a family with sisters, and then a brother.

I can assure you that you will love the next baby too, and when love is immeasurable, it is impossible to love one more than another. You may just love different things about them, but it's still that pure love you can only have for your child.

I think it will be wonderful for you, and for Tabi... there is life after UBPI.

I only get sad when I look at other babies and think of how hard it was for Josh, but that's a fact you can never escape anyway.

I think you are very brave, and you are bound to be nervous. Hopefully you will have an obstetrician who will sympathise with your fears and reassure you along the way.

I think it is wonderful that you may be pregnant, and I hope all goes well for you... keep us informed.

Love to you and yours
Pauline

Tabi's mom
all new babies bring their love along with them
it's different love for each child - because they are different people from each other
you will love this baby as much as you obpi baby
differently - but just as much
Karen

I just wanted to say that I have 6 children. My BPI child is my 5th. Each child has brought so much joy. And like others have said, everyone of them is so different. You will love and enjoy your 2nd child just as much as your first. Unfortunately you will face different problems and challenges with each one. It seems that each one comes with their own little problems.

The actual delivery of a child after a BPI child is a little stressful. We chose for a planned c-section with our 6th and that worked well for us.

Best of luck on your decision.

Connie

Hello,
My son is BPI and was my first child. When he was three I got pregant again. I too was scared. I went to a new OB and he scared me even more. MY blood pressure went so high while he was telling me that he has the lowest c section rates... Well, I dropped him and went straight to a different doctor. That ob assured me that it would be my decision. He deemed me high risk, had several ultra sounds all to determine size of the baby. At 32 weeks, my daughter was already 5lbs, at 34 weeks 7lbs. At 36 weeks my doctor again asked me if I wanted c section or try to deliver. I said c. He preferred to do a planned c section. So at 39 weeks, I had a planned c section. She was 9lb 3 oz and had apag score of 10. Totally amazing compared to my son's birth. He was 9il 9 oz 38 weeks with vaginal delivery bpi,apag a 1. Both he and I in hospital for 7 days. WIth the C section I was out in 3 days. My daugher is now 2 and half, my bpi son is 5. They are very different, boy and girl. They are equally loved and yes loved in a different way. Luckily, my daughter is so far advanced due to watching and helping her brother. My son does have a special bond with me and goes to me more, but my daughter is daddy's little princess. That I think is natural too. As long as you get a good doctor and stay firm about a planned c section then you will see it will be fine. Best of luck...

I have a 11 month old bpi child and am almost 35 weeks pregnant with my second child (OOPS). I was so scared about the "loving them differently" issue that I didn't know what to do with myself. Recently I have come to terms with the issue after talking to a lot of people with more than one child. I don't think this is a bpi issue, but an issue for everyone with more than one child. You have to trust yourself and know that you will love them both equally. Please Please Please......have a scheduled c=section. I know that people will tell you differently, but I have seen so many people have babies vaginally after bpi and they too have a bpi. Find a doctor you can trust and talk to. DON"T SETTLE!!! You and your baby are worth it!! Good Luck and congratulations!!

I didn't have a second child, after my bpi birth. It's such a pleasure reading all of the other replies - what amazing women there are out there! Anyway, given my situation there's not much I can offer, other than don't put up with any BS from your doctor, or anybody else involved. If anyone deserves to be treated like a queen re their pregnancy/birthing experience it's a bpi mother. See if you can line up one or two people close to you to act as advocates for you with the system, so you can concentrate on just relaxing and looking after yourself. You'll be in my thoughts.

Dear Tabi's mom,
I had those same fellings a year ago. After my first child Gabrielle was born w/RBPI I said no more babies. My husband really wanted a second child but I was so afraid. I kept putting it off saying not until after Gabrielle's Mod Quad. I got pregnant right away and our son was born 8 months ago via C-Section. He was 9.2 lbs at 37 weeks. The main obsticle was finding a Doctor who would listen to me. I found one and she let me call the shots. I even moved my delivery date from June 26th to the 11th. I knew in my heart if we waited any longer to deliver he may have a problem. With an amnio I was cleared for deliver at 37 weeks. My son is PERFECT. I am so happy we had another child. You will have such wonderful mixed emotions with everything this baby does. Everything is coming so easy to Vayle my heart melts. I watched Gabrielle struggle (and still struggling) with every milestone. Now I see how hard it has been for her and I am so proud of everything she has done. I think it had been good for Gabrielle to have a brother as well. She loves him so much and wants to teach him everything from talking to walking. Maybe now there is less attention to THE ARM and more on THE FAMILY. Your fears will not go away and with pregnancy come hormone ups and downs. I even had nightmares about the baby getting stuck. But it is all worth it in the end. Now our family is complete. And remember God only gives us as much as we can handle.