United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Does life ever go back to the way it was? I want my son to be O:k but every time I turn around its something new. I stopped working when I had him so I could take care of him. Everything is making it so hard on my life my famiely and I question why? Then I feel bad because I do have a wonderful baby boy who did not ask for any of this. Me and my husband had a fight tonight because of all this I just feel so over welmed with all this like my life has ended I stay at home or on the go to doctors. My older kids suffer because they don't get the attention they need and at the end of the day I just want to sit alone an cry like I am right now. I pray to God to give me strenght to get through all this. Just how much can one person handle?

You sit and have that cry Carron

That is probably just what you need.

Its ok to feel so bad. You have to do so much but it will pay off and someday you will find it gets easier.

This I know for sure. Because I am sure sometimes my Mom felt just like you. But she got me moving and using what ever she could with all her hard work...

So stop take a day off.... just play with the kids... no rom... We won't die if we skip a day... your still being a great mother....and besides its a vacation day for the baby,you, your husband and the other kids.... just have a family day off....

Just stop and play with your whole family...
Then you will be able to start again.

I am just guessing but I bet if one day a week or month was devoted to just the entire family... everyone would feel good... just a little suggestion ... think about it... and rest tonight you earned it.
Kath

Carron,
Hi. I am sorry to hear things are stressful. I hope things get better soon for you. I myself don't think life will ever go back to the way it was. We just have to take little steps forward. You sound like such a good mom! Staying home to take care of your little one! Maybe in time you will go back to work.
I stayed home for 6 years, with my bpi son, and now I work part-time. I know your child's injury is time consuming, and rightly so, but try to take a little time during the week with your other children. Even 15-30 minutes makes the difference. We have a bag full of cards, colors, paints, glue, markers. And every couple of nights we have a 'family project' night. Just to color pictures, anything.
Is there any way to get away for even 1 hour a week?
Just to talk to friends. If not take your child with to a sit down restaurant, with a friend.(If you can)
I did this when I got so overwhelmed, I just needed to get out, and I didn't have a sitter. Just know that it is okay to cry. I read that God only gives us what we can handle and no more. He must think that you have strength to help your child through this, and maybe he thinks you can help in other mysterious ways? I feel God has a plan for me, and my bpi child, and even if I don't know what it is now, I hope eventually I will.
So just hang in there. I know God is with you, and you will wether this, and come out a stronger person.
God bless you,
Debbie

God has chosen you to take care of this special little boy because He knows that you are strong enough to do it. And you are and you are a good mom and you WILL get through this. Support networks are very important Carron - somebody you can meet with and call on - maybe a support group in your area? Even though you are home -try to find some "me" time (and ONLY "me" time) in there...even just 15 minutes a day just to yourself to do something positive for yourself. Counseling can be helpful - best to find someone who udnerstands what it is to be a mom of a special needs child. And if things get really bad, medication is an option also. Find the books that will help you get through - a bad moment will come and go grab the book and read a paragraph. Whatever it takes is what I say.

You will find the balance that you need...somehow we all do...and like Bridget said in an earlier post, it's a rollercoaster. One minute you think you got it together and BOOM! it's gone. But you pick yourself back up and go on....even on those very worst days.

BPI's affect the whole family and I'm sure that your other kids and your husband need to talk about how this has affected them too. They're all in the equation.

We are all here for you... even though you feel like you are an island all on our own... you can talk to us and share your feelings any time.

Personally - I have found solace lately with my spiritual connection... and I take one day at a time..sometimes one moment at a time. And I do cry every day - even 3 1/2 years later.

You take care of yourself. KNow that a lot of people love you!

big hugs,
francine

Oh Carron, I'm right there with you! I posted last night about the bad dreams I've been having. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying in your post. Some days are so much harder than others, and like you, mine seem to be catching up with me too. Francine told me last night to sob, wail, weep and bawl. So I did. I went upstairs, cranked up some Bocelli, closed the door and told my family that I needed some 'alone time' and I let the gates open. I felt cleansed. Let it out Carron. It helps. And everyone here is so supportive and caring. Unload here...you will get through this! And so will I!

CARRON
SORRY TO HEAR YOUR HAVING A BAD DAY. YOU KNOW I WENT INTO A DEPRESSION BAD WHEN I HAD AARON AND IF WERE NOT FOR ME GOING BACK TO WORK I THINK I WOULD HAVE LOST IT. AT THE TIME I HAD A FRIEND WHO FELT UNLOVED BECAUSE HER HUSBAND LEFT HER AND SHE ALWAYS CRIED WITH ME ABOUT AARON'S INABILITY TO MOVE HIS ARM. THEN WHEN I WAS GOING BACK TO WORK SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD LIKE TO SIT AARON TO MAKE SURE THAT HE GETS HIS PT I THOUGHT THAT THAT WAS A REALLY GOOD IDEA. SO NOW THAT AARON IS DOING BETTER I'M HAPPIER AND I ALWAYS TELL HER THAT HIS IMPROVEMENT IS DUE TO HER LOVE FOR MY BABY AND HER MAKING SURE HE GETS HIS THERAPY SHE FEELS GOOD ABOUT THIS AND IT ALSO HAS HELPED HER DEPRESSION SO I THINK THAT GOD GAVE ME ARRON FOR 2 REASONS FOR MY FRIEND AND I. I HOPE YOU GET TO FEELING BETTER.
--------PAULA YESENIA