United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

I'm still reeling over this one. Maia went to a birthday party today at a classmates home. I stayed with her because she's really still under the weather - having a lot of pain and doesn't have her bearings yet. (She did much better at the hospital - but then again, she had a morphine pump there!)

They had a magician. So imagine this big room. There is a huge mat on the floor where about 30 3-4 year olds are sitting and all of their moms and dads are also in the room in back of the mat. Maia and I are sitting on one corner of the mat.

The magician starts his very comical thing going and yes he is very funny...and then he turns to Maia and says "Hey little girl, do you have a question? you have your hand up!" It would have been OK if he went on to tell another joke....but he asked her 3 times at which the whole room went dead silent and everyone just stared at Maia. It was the LONGEST minute of my life. Of course he then went on to something else but my head was just spinning and if it weren't for the little ones there, there were some choice words I could have used but I just sat there reeling, with tears flowing down my face. I just couldn't get it together after that....and you know...neither could Maia.

other comments we got from him were "Wow that must be itchy" and then when it was time to clap, I held my hand up so that Maia could clap my hand....and of course he had to make a comment on that. "Hey mom - pretty inventive"

I know it was in some sort of 'fun' intention but people are really CLUELESS!

I'm going to make up the Awareness cards to hand out..... but all I can think of is making a new t-shirt that says "I was injured during my birth and just had surgery, what's YOUR excuse?"

People stare and actually POINT and LAUGH ! what gives with this??

Francine

I don't know what to say. I would think that people would be more sensitive to a child's feelings... but somethings never change... and that means human nature...

It takes a very small person to hurt a child....

Next time ( and yes there will be many next times) meet that person after he/she finishes and speak to them in no uncertain tones... tell them they owe you and your child a big apology... for their rude behavior...

small minded people make small minded and rude comments....

Sorry I really know how this hurts...
Kath

That magician was way out of line. You should have taken the matter with the magician after the show was over . Take the telephone number of the magician from the host of the show and teach him a lesson .Somebody must act against this kind of rude behaviour. This is unthinkable in civilized society like USA. I am so sorry to hear this .

Munam

Francine,
I know it is hard, I lived through the same rude responses post mod quad this year. As an adult I can cope more -- I've had a lifetime of enduring these kinds of comments, but it is unbearable for a child. I'm sorry Maia had to endure this at a party which should have been nothing but fun for her.

One thing that I did notice when I was in the splint and out and about was that complete strangers would talk to me, sometimes that turned into long conversations about the injury and that was good. I always felt really good about those encounters. It was the comments from friends that bothered me the most. For some reason people feel a need to make a joke about something that is not funny. It is a way of dealing with their own discomfort and a desire not to ignore you. I tried to keep that in mind, but some days, it just hurt.

Nancy

Francine,

Put a rush on those cards! The questions and comments and stares from people are pretty disconcerting, the cards are a great way of addressing them, they begin to feel like ammunition!

So sorry for the scene at the birthday party, which should have been a lovely time for Maia with all her friends. Perhaps it would be worth a phone call to the clown (in the real sense of the word!) who made the comments to help him understand in a gentle way the impact of his comments? After all, if he is out there performing in front of audiences all the time this sort of thing could be happening again? You might be helping another child avoid this situation in the future by speaking out.

I agree totally with Nancy, people often laugh when they are nervous or unsure...seeing a child in the splint/cast is such an obvious sign of pain and suffering...seeing this, especially associated with small children is very disconcerting to people. They laugh because they don't know what else to do...handing them an informational card might help them to gain understanding and empathy.

Francine, it is such a long road...the only words of comfort I can offer you are that the road is well-traveled...your fellow travelers know how you feel, and we will do our best to help you over this rough spot in the road.

Take care,

Bridget

Francine...I'm so sorry you and Maia had to endure the insensitive acts of an ignorant person!! What was intended to be a fun day surely was ruined, and for that I'm sorry. I would find the name of the magician and call him and give him a life's lesson. He's bound to encounter more children in his career with physical and mental challenges. And he better learn how to handle himself and respect the children and parents involved. He should have known better. Shame on him!

Yep, that is our experience with this surgery as well Francine. I want to make a sign reading I did not do this, the Dr. did!!

Hold your ground and get those cards out.