United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Hi all,

I care for a man who has Erb's palsy in one arm and would like to understand how his condition may affect him psychologically and especially in his personal relationships. We are colleagues but the nature of our work didn't involve much visual contact so although I had noticed that there was something the matter with the movements of his one arm, I didn't give it much thought. This was until recently when we were together for a longer period of time and I witnessed his difficulty in making moves (i.e. taking his jacket off) that I didn't know he had. After that I did a little research and learned about Erb's palsy and what it involves in medical terms.

So, the thing is that I have feelings for this man and would very much like to know how I should treat this issue, for instance whether I need to acknowlegde it somehow or let him bring it up if he chooses to, whether I should be careful in my gestures (i.e. a handshake) so that I don't cause any physical pain to him etc.

Tomorrow is going to be the first time we meet since I witnessed the nature of his problem and the point at which it affects his mobility so I wish I could tell him that this doesn't change a bit how I feel about him. Perhaps I don't need to anyway since although we like each other, our professional relationship doesn't allow for a more intimate relationship to develop at this point. However, since I care for him very much, I do want to better understand this part of him and be prepared in case we get closer in the future after our collaboration finishes.

Any thoughts or comments are very welcome and appreciated.

Hi Lisa
I have been married for 35 years,
The topic of my birth erbs is never a issue
You know he has the injury, so did my wife and we meet at a disco, no hiding my arm in dancing. To her it seems it never mattered, Having these injuries also get looks by the way we learn to adapt to things with these injuries basically one hand
Problem is my wife still ask if she can help still today. Problem is most times I think I can find away to adapt and need no help, For some reason getting help is just so had to ask for ??
Getting food you can eat one handed is best and a spoon Knife and fork , I have issues
Just thinking Hope this may help????
I know this is my experience to try to share , I quest These injurys are some what a alike but so defferant to

Tom

Thank you very much for sharing that, Tom. And yes, it did help.

Your man is very luck to have you and I am bless with a good wife over the years
It more about enjoying life no matter the curve ball life throws our way as we age more help is needed and having a person with composition is a gift and long lasting, I think . Some post are from woman who have this injury to it is a two way street for sure , having a heart is , I think a great gift, to gain and have seen it from post many post over time

We are only a post away,
Thanks,
Just ,
Tom

Funny you should say that ("one post away") Tom, because I live far far away from where you are (in the States I suppose).

My man doesn't "have" me yet and I don't "have" him either. However, for the first time in my life I understand that when you really love someone, you love everything about them. So in a way, I guess I'm the lucky one here .

Take care,
Lisa