United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

I heard more than a few time how much pressure a lawsuit can put on you. I thought, "I'm strong, I can handle it". well, no I can't, I mean I am because I have to for my family. But DAMN, is it worth it in the end. We settled, and just like i heard so many times before, it doesn't offer closure of any kind. Almost like ripping a scab off. Yet, mine continues to drag on and on and on.........Javier is having a harder time as he gets older and more independant. His temper is a wrath to be reckoned with and I am out of answers.

Just venting, but any advice is greatly appreciated.



Love-
Marlyn

Marlyn,
Its been ages since we have chatted...How old is Jav these days? Has he ever been around another bpi kiddo? That may help him understand this is not a battle he has to fight alone. If I remember right he has little use of his bpi arm, is that right? what is he still having trouble with? Maybe I can offer some tips so he doesnt get so frustrated. Let me know what hes up to.
Hugs,
Amy

My son is 13 and going through some issues as well....we lost our lawsuit last year and that troubles him, doesn't understand how that could happen to him(neither can I).

How old is your son? Maybe they could chat online or something. My son knows a couple of other kiddos with BPI, but the one his age is a girl...(don't know if he would like talking to her about his arm)

I don't think us Moms will ever really get over the emotional scars, my scab seems picked every day!!

Crystal

We DON't have to do it alone. I hope Javier reaches out to Amy, Marlyn.
FYi, I've had alot of help working thru these childhood "ickys" . I still get "Pop- up Icky Memories" ,[ read scars], every once in a while.
Carolyn J
LOBPI/72
ps...These are a "Lifetime-of-Care-Injuries" we remember at these times our Secondary injuries are often emotional ones.... [read in Medical Resources for Adults Link on our Homepage]

Crystal,
I might suggest trying to set your 13 year old son up on messenger...Some of my best advice I ever recieved was from a boy when were young teens. I would not have wanted to ask him questions on the phone but messenger made it comfortable. He would ask questions of me to get the girl point of view and I would do the same for him. I believe we are both very happily in relationships now in part because of the confidance we were able to provide each other in the tough teen years. Last I was able to chat with him he found the girl of his dreamsand was planning to ask her to marry him and I was engagged to the man of my dreams (we are both in our 20s now). I am now married with two step-children and dont get time to use my messenger chat like I used to so it may be ages before I chat with him again but it was so very valuable to me in my teens to have a same age friend of the opposite sex to chat with and ask questions of.

Of course because it is the internet please monitor for safety and age appropriateness.
Hope this helps!
Amy 23 years old

I understand your feelings completely. I thought once things were settled life would kind of pick up and move on. I have actually realized that the problems are still there. Unfortunately, they won't go away. I have found that it's kind of like going through different stages of reality. Especially as Nicholas grows and becomes more aware that there are definitely things that he struggles with. My little boy has never regained functional use of his left arm through surgical intervention. His arm still hangs limp with no muscle tone. I always try to put my own feelings aside and try to keep positive in front of him. When in all reality, my heart is breaking. That's why I feel it's important to have a network of individuals that understand those issues. It always helps to get things off your chest. I am still trying to mentally accept that our lives will always have battles, but hopefully with support we will succeed. I hope this helps. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I totally feel the same way. It really stinks, but I try to remind myself that things could be a lot worse.