Seeing things from another side of the injury...
Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:50 pm
I've been a tad distant from everyone this week, I do appoligize but I needed to find out what we were dealing with if anything. As a lot of you know I had my son Phineas on 8/23, and I thought everything would go as smoothly as it did when I had Jack 4 years ago, but it didn't.
My midwife was fully aware of my concerns about a big baby, and also about BPI's because of my own OBPI. I thought I was in good hands. But after Phineas came out Jon told me his concerns about how hard she pulled on him. Then AFTER he came out we found out he had gotten stuck, NO ONE told us. And very soon after they said the words I feared, "he's not moving his arm right". I was very upset, but I did not jump out of bed and chase them down the hall like I assumed I would. I took every day since then, one day at a time.
The Dr. in the hospital said he wouldn't be suprised if he had a mild BPI. At that point Phineas was moving his arm below the elbow only. He wasn't getting his shoulder up at all. Once he was home he moved his arm a couple times, and yesterday and today he's doing incredible. When we saw his pediatrician today, she said he looked great, she thinks he'll make a full recovery, but we'll still becareful with his movements, and do a little ROM exercises as well.
This has given me quite a new point of view. I thought I had so much more control of my birthplan in the delivery room, but that was not the case. They tell you to make all these decisions and then they take it upon themselves to do what they want without even a hint of letting you know there's a problem. I only pushed for 16 min. so he wasn't stuck long, there had to be another manner in which they could have worked him free.
Another issue is my mom works there in Labor and Delivery, so I couldn't make a fuss. I had to keep silent in my anger and I'll have to remain pretty silent about it all for a long time to come. Her and I have argued about BPI's and everything that surrounds hospital vs. patient and we've never seen eye to eye. All she could do in that moment is turn her head, she couldn't watch, she knew what was going on and even she didn't tell me. I've decided it's no longer an issue we can discuss, it's best for our relationship to let it drop.
I have a lot of emotions yet to deal with. We're pretty sure he'll be fine, and I do believe them, he's doing so well. But on the other hand if I didn't have UBPN I think I'd be a complete wreck or maybe I'd be overly gullable with Dr's. Either way it was another moment, I knew I had somewhere to go for support.
Thank you!
My midwife was fully aware of my concerns about a big baby, and also about BPI's because of my own OBPI. I thought I was in good hands. But after Phineas came out Jon told me his concerns about how hard she pulled on him. Then AFTER he came out we found out he had gotten stuck, NO ONE told us. And very soon after they said the words I feared, "he's not moving his arm right". I was very upset, but I did not jump out of bed and chase them down the hall like I assumed I would. I took every day since then, one day at a time.
The Dr. in the hospital said he wouldn't be suprised if he had a mild BPI. At that point Phineas was moving his arm below the elbow only. He wasn't getting his shoulder up at all. Once he was home he moved his arm a couple times, and yesterday and today he's doing incredible. When we saw his pediatrician today, she said he looked great, she thinks he'll make a full recovery, but we'll still becareful with his movements, and do a little ROM exercises as well.
This has given me quite a new point of view. I thought I had so much more control of my birthplan in the delivery room, but that was not the case. They tell you to make all these decisions and then they take it upon themselves to do what they want without even a hint of letting you know there's a problem. I only pushed for 16 min. so he wasn't stuck long, there had to be another manner in which they could have worked him free.
Another issue is my mom works there in Labor and Delivery, so I couldn't make a fuss. I had to keep silent in my anger and I'll have to remain pretty silent about it all for a long time to come. Her and I have argued about BPI's and everything that surrounds hospital vs. patient and we've never seen eye to eye. All she could do in that moment is turn her head, she couldn't watch, she knew what was going on and even she didn't tell me. I've decided it's no longer an issue we can discuss, it's best for our relationship to let it drop.
I have a lot of emotions yet to deal with. We're pretty sure he'll be fine, and I do believe them, he's doing so well. But on the other hand if I didn't have UBPN I think I'd be a complete wreck or maybe I'd be overly gullable with Dr's. Either way it was another moment, I knew I had somewhere to go for support.
Thank you!