United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

ok i wrecked out in aug. 07. everyone standing by me. now it's mar. 09. no friends left,my family don't speak to me anymore and my fiance is only one left that likes me except for my bunny and he loves me cause i feed and pet him. i dunno what i did wrong. i'm in severe pain but i manage to joke and such cause otherwise i'd go insane. but they all left.one by one they thinned out to none. i don't understand what happend. and nothing prepares you for this hell. i was just wondering if this is just my situation or if anyone else had this happen. if my fiance leaves me i'm doomed. i'll be out in the street me,my recliner and my bunny. pretty sad if ya think about it. oh well at least i have my humor.
daniel

I understand. Me and my family have always been on the touchy side but after my accident I came back from california to have my family close and they didn't help much at all. If it wasn't for my girlfriend I'd be dead.

Seriously I would have ended this pain my damn self. But she is my godsend. She helped me get back to work and helps to take care of me. For a period of time she literally woke up 2hrs early washed and dressed me and drove me to my job. I have recovered a lot since then. I guess what I am trying to say is F**K em. Just keep your girl close and do your best with this.

Good Luck. Hit me privately on this page if you need to chat.

yea sounds pretty identical to me. i wrecked out aug. 07.pretty much munched the whole left side of my body. can't work. hell using my hands is all i ever knew. i'm getting through it ok i guess. i'm the same way as you with my ole lady. if it wasn't for her i'd off myself for sure lol. i worked on harley's,did some woodworking, and played music all my life. (imma gutter punk at heart) lol. so how old are you and how long post accident are you. i'm 35.
name is daniel

I feel ya here. I'm almost 32 now. Wrecked Sept. 07 and spent most of my days stuck at home in a recliner since. I used to work with my hands a lot, cant now. Haven't worked since. Didn't have a girl though, luckily my folks are still around and took me back in. Can't thank them enough.

But yeah, gradually most all my friends disappeared. I guess they are still around but I'd probably have to call them. I guess people have their own lives to live, and I understand that, and I've spent so much time at home they kinda stopped calling to ask me to do stuff because I'd just say no. You know, I just hate to go out and start hurting and want to leave. Maybe its some my own fault, maybe theirs, I dont know.

You definately learn who your friends are.

yea i was just wondering if that was common. i was feeling like i live in the twilight zone. lol at least i'm not the only one.
daniel

Funny how in being alone you're not alone if that makes sense. I mean that any of us who have been in a serious accident finds out who their real friends and family are. Since my accident I've had people who I thought were out of my life for good who came through for me and others who I thought were close friends whe never even bothered to send a card and I almost died and was in the hospital for 3 months!
I even had a cousin who I had worked with him and his girlfriend for 4 years in collage who never sent one word to ask how I was doing but still invited me to thier wedding and shower and this was only about 4 months after the accident. I guess some people will do anything for presents.
I actually liken my situation to an old episode of the Twilight Zone where all this old guy wants to do is read but people are too noisy. Then the world ends and only he survives and when he finally sits to read he breaks his only pair of reading glasses. This how I feel. I finally have all the time in the world to do my favorite things, but my injuries, especially this damn bpi, makes it almost impossible to do them. I'm not giving up but sometimes it's just so damn hard.

http://www.despair.com/loneliness.html

Actually, I had great support from my friends, but I was a lot younger - 17 at the time. Now I'm 40, I find that friends move off and do family stuff a lot more, and they've only ever known me with the one useful arm. I don't know that it's anything to do with you / us, it's just people's focus changes - ours tends to be on getting over an accident, and that doesn't match up with little league, work etc, so we drift apart.

Subject: Re: anyone else have this happen?

I've got to tell you I can not attribute this injury to my exile. More like this was just one too many. I've been knocked off every bike I've owned and I've been riding for 40 years. I still keep my license current. Talk about positive thinking...
I have spent months in hospitals. One time my right leg and left arm were in traction for like three months! With this (LTBI) I've kind jokingly tell the wonderers, 'hold your dominant hand behind your back for a day and see how much you can, or can't do.' Well, can you imagine being tied in bed by two corners? I couldn't roll over to either side or back/front. God that was a horrible time. To make matters worse, I had been sliced open from stem to stern as I had internal bleeding and exploratory surgery was necessary. As a result, until the wound was healed properly enough, every morning some poor nurse had to clean the 8" long clips and the wound and trust me, what left my mouth those mornings would make the toughest sailor blush. I was captive and it was torture. Then there was the time my pelvis was shattered and another with a fractured skull, broken ribs and punctured lung.
But I digress. With all of my past, when this happened to me and I cried for help, there was none. I was literally the boy who cried wolf. Now nobody hardly believes me that this is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me. And I'm alone. My family lives up north, you know, cold, snow, dreary, depressing gray skies and did I mention cold? The suggestion that I move back 'home' to be closer to my family including my one year old Grandson has been made with no offer to assist in such a move or a place to stay once there. Not a good time of the year to be in Boston and living in my Tahoe... And the friends and family here(Texas) have paid their token respects and carried on with their lives simply minus Scott. They make it look effortless and yes that hurts. I'm always wondering 'what the hell did I do in my life to warrant this type of cold shoulder? I thoroughly blame myself and can not get over it. I am depressed for the most part. Don't know what I'm gonna do from day to day. Daniel I have teamspeak and headset with microphone. Didn't know I can talk to my machine and have it respond. Pretty cool.
I know I ranted and carried on so, I usually do but I've just know felt the urge to find a topic and see if I could contribute. It's been nice and I'll catch ya'll on the rebound.

Update: April 20 - Wow! What a bunch of nothing.
I think what I was alluding to is the fact that I keep getting up. For myself but with loved ones on board. Through faith, self preservation or shear stupidity, I keep getting up. This time, however, not so easy and definately alone. It's going on three years. I do show improvement in that I can actually bend my elbow and raise my arm now. Hooray! Still don't have a hand but patience is a virtue afterall right? Thing about this recovery...nobody knows and seemingly nobody cares. To me it's a hollow victory. I'm working on it though. Can't roll over and die. s8n, I'm reluctant to use teamspeak, my headset and microphone for fear I'll not give my attention to my right hand typing and more importantly my fear of reaching out to another one of us so closely. Dan, I promise I'll build up the courage before I am healed...
With the testimonies that follow my posting I'm urged to continue. Amazing people are sharing here. I thank everyone who is sharing their positive renforcements, stories, web sites and all. Here is another place to seek wisdom and guideance.
http://www.thesecret.tv/movie/trailer_view.html?l=en
I hope this directs you to The Secret. I believe in the philosophy. Now I have to believe in me.
Bless you all.
Scott
Ps Please forgive the typos and grammar. I do.


Message was edited by: swhite1

I understand your injuries as I had basically everything you mentioned except I had them all at once. (They are listed on previous posts) I agree, having both your arm and leg severely injured sucks. It's the trauma version of a stroke.
Don't be so hard on youeself about giving not giving up the bike. My dad rode for 40 yrs and one of the last things I remember thinking on that long ride before we crashed (mechanical failure) was how much he belonged in this "culture". He loved it and though motorcycling is not possible anymore, he still wants to find a way to put the harley engine in a golf cart at take that to Sturgess
One thing I've found out about myself is that I feel abandoned when my friends and family get on with their lives and don't constantly call and visit. That's when I have to check myself and not push good friends out of my life out of anger, because people who have not experienced this simply don't understand how well "needy" we feel (I hope that came out right). It's the people who I've known for a long time who never even bothered to send a card that really bother me.

It sucks. I agree with everyone. But my opinion, let em leave, I have to worry about me and not all the people that have left. Probably the toughest thing is dealing with sitting at home, bored, doing nothing no one to talk to. It's easy to get depressed!

But forget about everyone else around me. I refuse to let the depression beat me. I am how I am, and I'll adapt to the hand I've been delt. Our mental game is far more challenging then the physical handicap.