United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

hey just wanna know if there are couples out there that are both have brachial plexus. im just wondering.hehe.

growing up, it really worries me if i can actually have my own family due to my condition. ofcourse i will not be able to support them maybe financially because i cannot work heavy physically. i never had really someone that i could call mine or had an official romantic relationship with. though right now i have someone special. he is in australia and im in the philippines. he never knew that i have obpi.though mine is not obvious, it still worries me that he might not accept it. we only communicate trough emails and chat. i dont really find my self that attractive so if you add my condition that makes me more unattractive. i know not many from here worries this but it really upsets me thinking that i might not have a family in the future. im still 20 though. sometimes, i just think that i should have a romantic relationship with someone having the same condition as mine so he can be able to understand and accept me. it just really hurts me thinking this. i really dont want go old alone. i know i have really problem with my self esteem and how i perceived my self. i always get jelous with my friends when they talk about the person they are with. is there any person out there having the same problem/ worries like me? i know this problem is not that important but it really affects me emotionally.

Kris,
Most of us adults never met another OBPI until finding UBPN. so I doubt if 2 of us ever married...I forgot how old you are, Kris, but a good number of us are maried(I was & have a son)..AND are Grandparents. Ours is a BIRTHING injury and has nothing to do with concieving and raising children.

FYI, when my son was born with many problems in 1971, I had a genetic workup by the March of Dimes on both my son & myself just to make sure his had nothing to do with mine.It doesn't. Other adults I've met on the board have healthy children & Grands too. There is a topic thread on "How to be a BPI MOM" if you want to search for it in the "Forums Search" Link at the top of any page..
All of us OBPI-ers are terrific Moms and DADS too! GO FOR IT, it's the greatest! BTW, my son had surgeries and now is a heathy, productive man of age 38 & takes care of me!!

There is no such thing as a dumb question, Kris, on any of the Forums and you are wellcome on al Forums, to post and read...everyone is!

Carolyn J
LOBPI/70 & loving it


Message was edited by: Carolyn J

Kris
As far as I know most older obpi are married and in long term marriages.
I am married 43 years and had to keep explaining my injury to my husband. Most of us no matter how severe our injuries seem to hide it well... or perhaps we are more conscience of it because of the limitations it imposes on us.

I have three children and 5 grandchildren and did not worry that it was inherited. I was told the doctor made a mistake and pressed too hard on my nerves so I did not worry.

If you meet someone who has a problem with your arm... dump that person as fast as you can! If a simple injury is a problem for someone who claims to love you... I would worry about my future. You are so much more than an arm and the person with the problem dealing with it has to be very shallow and small minded.

Remember you are not an arm and it should not define you!

Kath robpi/adult

If they don't like you for WHO you are and only like you for WHAT you look like they are superficial and NOT a nice person and not worth keeping!!

Marieke 33, LOBPI

tnx a lot. i know im still young but already worrying about marriage.haha

i know its really easy to say to dump that person, he doesnt love you etc. but he is only the person i have right now. good for all of you who have love ones. i just feel really tired about all these emotions, angers im feeling but the problem is i really dont know how to handle it. i dont have someone to talk to. its really deppressing. i dont even understand my self now and its really frustrating

Kris,
Depression can beone of those "invisable" secondary injuries our life brings to us if we don't have validation or acceptance from others in our lives. Counselling sure helped me "get a grip" on my anger. Depression is often anger "stuffed" or turned inward.
FYI, there is usually sliding fees/low cost for counseling at a nearby Agency that has an university nearby. Check with your local health Dept too.

kep in touch,
Carolyn J

yah maybe counseling may help. ill just try to talk my frinds about it to release what im thinking. with my family? i dont know if i can tell this to them becuase i feel that i have a gap with them. i had never told anything that is i find sensitive or even my secrets to my family because ovbiosly they will never understand. maybe this is the reason why i try to find love to other people becuase i feelt that i really never felt this with them.

so to all the parents out there who have children like us. pls talk to them or ask what are they feeling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. tell them what you also feel. its not because they are not talking about it meaning your children already accepted it. and pls try to read atleast a journal about it so that if your child ask questions about it you can tell the truth about your child's condition. and i really feel depressed that none of these things were done by my parents. and to tell you the truth untill now, they dont even know anything about it ot even how it called.