United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

i know this is a bit cheesy but im just curious if there are couples out there who are both have obpi.so hows the relationship going on? growing up i find it really difficult having someone with me knowing that i have a condition that may restrain me in building a family/ supporting them financially becuase obviously i cannot do too much physical works. so im thinking that i could marry someday someone who is like me that will accept me with the condition i have. though mine isnt that noticeable. i have someone special with me right now and he is in australia and im in the philippines. actually he never knew i have an obpi so im really worried that if he knew about it, his feelings for me might just change. i know my relationship with him isnt that deep so im really worried. i know some of us here are thinking the same way maybe due to low self esteem or disturbed body image. so what do you think? is there someone out there who also feels the same way? having worries not to find someone that may love them becuase of their condition?

Kristoffer,
I used to feel exacty the same way that you do and then I met that special someone. When you meet that person, they will not judge you on your abilities or the fact that things may get worse latter on. They will love and accept who you are.

I used to have a really big crush on a tbpi because that person got what I was going through but t was just that...a crush. Then the man of my dreams entered my life and he is there for me when I need another appointment or to celebrate the good times. We go through it all together now. And although he can never truly understand what I am going through, he accepts that I can and will do whatever I put my mind to regardless of if he tells me I can or not.

The best advice I can offer you is to work on your self esteem. When you are confident n you others are too. People notice confidence...To tell you the truth, my boyfriend didnt even notice my arm until my roommate told him it was injured. He still forgets there are things I cant do but he has learned very well to wait until I ask for help before he just does things. I have learned that it is ok to accept the help too. He now cuts my meat for me so I dont have to try so hard. But he only does it after being asked.

You will find that special some one someday but for today set a real goal to become self-confident!
Good luck,
Amy 22 years old ROBPI from MN

Ah excellent reply Amy.

I'd just like to reinforce that you shouldn't lower ur standards or expectations due to ur injury. It's part of you and whoever is right for you will accept it and everything that comes with it.

Also like Amy says, you'l be surprised at how many people dont notice ur arm is any different. For us it sometimes seems the most obvious parts of our body but for most people lookin at us its not. My boyfriend didn't notice my arm and i had to tell him about it and thats when he noticed.

Michelle
ROBPI

i feel that im just really making excuses and blaming it all with my injury. yah your right i should really work hard with my confidence. i have so much issues with my self that i really need to work on. your also correct that i need to set my goals. i think another reason why im like this is becuase im bisexual, im a male by the way. no one really know this even my parents. so before i commit my self to someone, i really need to tell this to my parents. gosh its really hard growing up dealing with our condition plus identity crises!haha. tnx alot. im feel realy ashamed telling you my complicated problem. but tnx for replying. i really appreciate it a lot.

Krisofer,
Ya, I posted on the other thread that we only thinkpeople are noticing our arms/hands. When I learned how little they notice what/how I am doing stuff, I relaxed and do anything I want my way and do only what is comfortable for me. The way everyone dances etc. no days it's much easier to have fun. Like Amy said, self confidence is what attracks heathy minded people to you. It helps to take a risk once in a while too.

Carolyn J
LOBPI/70

Kristoffer,
please dont feel ashamed, I believe that I asked many of the same questions although I probably emailed them all the Kath. I doubted my abilities morethan anyone I know. I still do. I am in a great relationship and we are talking about getting married and having a family together...That thought scares the crap out of me. A family is something that I have always wanted and still do. I cant wait to have a baby of my own but taking care of it all the time scares me, will I be able to do everything? I have no idea but I do know that if I think I can I will find a way and when I think I cant, I let myself believe that and I really cant. If there is a will, then there is a way!

Its hard not blaming things on your injury but when you can set the fact that you have an injury aside, you will likely improve your confidence. Do not let your injury (or your sexual orientation) define who you are! My guess is that you are a fun, caring, appreciative person who loves to have a good time. You are smart (I can see this from your post and your ability to accept advide)...these are words that should define you not the fact that you have a brachial plexus injury or that you are bisexual. To the right person those things will not make a difference.

Set some goals, tell them to someone or even write them here and be accountable! You mean the world to someone even if you havent met that person yet...they are out there somewhere.
Hugs,
Amy 22 years old ROBPI from MN

i have been thinking this for few days now and i decided to tell to my signifant other about my condition. i will update you what will happen. though im not yet decided when will i tell this to my parents. and another thing i kinda blame also my parents(a lot).

ill be graduating from college in few days so i hope everything will be ok. but honestly, i kinda scared also because i will definitely need to find a job to support my self and that really scares me if they wil accept me especially with the line of my work i will be having. but i definitely know that everything will be ok. (:
tnx a lot. and if yuo have also problems i"ll be willing to help you. take care.

I hope that everything works out in your favor. Congrats on graduating college, I am 47 days away from my graduation. Although I still have another year of school left as I am going for a masters degree right away.

Good luck finding a job that suits you! Trust your abilities and all will be fine.
Amy

tnx. my graduation is on april 6. congrats also 2 you! by the way what's your course? actually very busy reviewing right now for the licensure exam on june.haha.goodluck to me.

What's your field/career, Kris?

Carolyn J
LOBPI