hello, goodbye revisited
Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2002 7:06 am
It's now a month since I said hello to this message board and goodbye to my Right TBPI arm.
Post amputation, I had 3 weeks of pain that was similar, but not quite so bad as, the pain I'd had immediately post BPI. Presumably that's where all the nerves have been disturbed again. 4 weeks down the line, it's great. Virtually no pain , the odd twinge, the odd phantom itch or "buzzing", but nothing serious. You have to conquer the BPI pain first, which I managed to do. Amputation cannot do that for you.
After my BPI, I vowed that I would not live my life on pills, and fought through the pain. It's mind over body. Everytime I had really bad pain, I used to ask my body "is that the best you can do? That's pathetic. Come on, try to really give me pain. Sometimes my body would oblige, and the pain would take my breath away, but after a while, my body said, "ok, you're a nutter, I can't fight you." Three years post BPI I was not taking any pain relief. When I went into hospital to have my broken leg repaired I took no pain relief. And when my arm was amputated, I took no pain relief, except one afternoon when I had a paracetemol. I've built up my tolerance, like those people who enjoy fighting, except I'm fighting 24 hours a day against my own body !
So amputation: Well, in terms of freedom...Wow ! Clothes are easier to put on and take off, I don't keep knocking things off the table, or catching my flail arm on things, and I can wear short sleeved shirts without having that withered arm looking so horrible out the sleeve. People stare surreptiously, but I can live with that. Kids love it: they want to touch an arm that isn't there ! It doesn't phase them at all. Best of all, with some latex and red paint I'm going to look bloody fantastic at this year's Halloween fancy dress party ! And I can at last hug my wife closer than I have been able to for 5 years.
Post amputation, I had 3 weeks of pain that was similar, but not quite so bad as, the pain I'd had immediately post BPI. Presumably that's where all the nerves have been disturbed again. 4 weeks down the line, it's great. Virtually no pain , the odd twinge, the odd phantom itch or "buzzing", but nothing serious. You have to conquer the BPI pain first, which I managed to do. Amputation cannot do that for you.
After my BPI, I vowed that I would not live my life on pills, and fought through the pain. It's mind over body. Everytime I had really bad pain, I used to ask my body "is that the best you can do? That's pathetic. Come on, try to really give me pain. Sometimes my body would oblige, and the pain would take my breath away, but after a while, my body said, "ok, you're a nutter, I can't fight you." Three years post BPI I was not taking any pain relief. When I went into hospital to have my broken leg repaired I took no pain relief. And when my arm was amputated, I took no pain relief, except one afternoon when I had a paracetemol. I've built up my tolerance, like those people who enjoy fighting, except I'm fighting 24 hours a day against my own body !
So amputation: Well, in terms of freedom...Wow ! Clothes are easier to put on and take off, I don't keep knocking things off the table, or catching my flail arm on things, and I can wear short sleeved shirts without having that withered arm looking so horrible out the sleeve. People stare surreptiously, but I can live with that. Kids love it: they want to touch an arm that isn't there ! It doesn't phase them at all. Best of all, with some latex and red paint I'm going to look bloody fantastic at this year's Halloween fancy dress party ! And I can at last hug my wife closer than I have been able to for 5 years.