Hi all. I have just registered with this site so im not just Michelle, im Michelle_16.
Anyway these past few days have been the worst!!! I thought finding this site would be great and it is, i enjoy talking to people and knowing what other people are thinking but iv just thot about my arm a lot more since iv started talking about it. This is gettin me down. I dont know how many times i have cried in the last few days...its jst not good. Did anyone else feel like this when they first found this site? I'm sure i will get over it but i feel like everyone is looking at me and i think this is because i realise my arm is different a lot more now.
Please help me cos just now i want to sleep this all away and i cant bcos i have school - lol.
Talk to you all soon
Michelle -x-
Feeling Down
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jennyb
- Posts: 1183
- Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2001 5:24 pm
- Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: January 1980 Yamaha RD200 vs 16 wheeler truck, result, 1 totally paralysed right arm. I was 21, now 54. I had no surgery, I don't regret this. Decided to totally ignore limitations (easily done aged 21) adapted very quickly to one handed life, got married, had 3 kids, worked- the effect of the injury on my life (once the pain stopped being constant) was minimal and now, aged 54, I very rarely even think of it, unless I bash it or it gets cold, then I wish I'd had it amputated :) Except for a steering knob on my car, I have no adaptations to help with life, mainly because I honestly don't think of myself as disabled and the only thing I can't do is peel potatoes, which is definitely a good thing.
Re: Feeling Down
Hi Michelle, I'm tbpi but your post struck such a chord with me-like you I found it wonderful to meet others with injuries like mine, I've been coming here for a while now and have made some friends I'm very close to.
But until I found this site I never, ever thought about my arm, any more than I thought about the other arm, or the fact that I wear glasses. It is so true that thinking about the arm is depressing, I've been very down for a few days and not able to face coming here at all. Some people find this site and then don't come back, I understand why completely, it really is unhealthhy to focus on the arm so much.
Last year several of us met up in the UK and I can tell you we didn't spend too much time talking about bpi, and we had a ball! That's the up side of making contact, the people who have the same issues as you can understand you so well. Michelle, you are obviously really well adjusted about your bpi, don't let yourself start into a spiral of self pity and doubt, talk to others about the bpi when you feel like it and leave this place and just be your ordinary self when you don't...I'm 43 with a flail arm tbpi, and I'm a mother with 3 kids, I'm probably very different from you but your post absolutely hit the nail on the head of how I'm feeling today. I'm taking my children for a day out, they won't notice my arm, it won't be an issue, I'll function as a whole human being as I've done for so long and I'll have a great day, I hope you do too and thank you so much for posting thoughts I didn't even realise I was having myself. You helped me get my chin up again! Love to you :0)
But until I found this site I never, ever thought about my arm, any more than I thought about the other arm, or the fact that I wear glasses. It is so true that thinking about the arm is depressing, I've been very down for a few days and not able to face coming here at all. Some people find this site and then don't come back, I understand why completely, it really is unhealthhy to focus on the arm so much.
Last year several of us met up in the UK and I can tell you we didn't spend too much time talking about bpi, and we had a ball! That's the up side of making contact, the people who have the same issues as you can understand you so well. Michelle, you are obviously really well adjusted about your bpi, don't let yourself start into a spiral of self pity and doubt, talk to others about the bpi when you feel like it and leave this place and just be your ordinary self when you don't...I'm 43 with a flail arm tbpi, and I'm a mother with 3 kids, I'm probably very different from you but your post absolutely hit the nail on the head of how I'm feeling today. I'm taking my children for a day out, they won't notice my arm, it won't be an issue, I'll function as a whole human being as I've done for so long and I'll have a great day, I hope you do too and thank you so much for posting thoughts I didn't even realise I was having myself. You helped me get my chin up again! Love to you :0)
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admin
- Site Admin
- Posts: 19873
- Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm
Re: Feeling Down
Michelle, Jenny is right, your reaction is perfectly normal, my child has a birth injury like you, and when i first found out about the message boards and other people who have the condition, i re-lived the whole process of worrying about how his arm would affect him when he grew up. Its almost like a bereavement - i grieved for the baby he should have been, with 2 perfect arms, you are grieving for your perfect arms. This time and these feelings will pass eventually, but Jenny is right you need to focus on other things, you are a bright, intelligent, sensitive person who happens to have a problem with her arm - cry now, but try not to cry tomorrow, if you take each day as it comes you will over come these feelings - don't give up on life - you're too good for that.
One last thought - you say people are looking at you and you think it's because of your arm - maybe it's because you are a good looking girl that they are looking!
sending good thoughts and best wishes for a peaceful time soon
One last thought - you say people are looking at you and you think it's because of your arm - maybe it's because you are a good looking girl that they are looking!
sending good thoughts and best wishes for a peaceful time soon
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admin
- Site Admin
- Posts: 19873
- Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:59 pm
Re: Feeling Down
Michelle,
These wonderful women are right. I am so sorry you are feeling down about you arm. I have a son, Kyle who has BPI. I have been very upset about it lately. Mostly because one of his baseball coaches made a rude comment and for a mom that is like crossing in front of a grizzly bear! Or at least it is for me. I hurt for him. But he is a super kid and I pray he'll be okay emotionally.
I think she is right, they are probably looking at you because you are such a good looking girl. Ya know it is funny, when someone is over weight they think everyone is looking at them because they are fat, when someone is tall, they think they are looking at them because they are tall...I bet you are just a doll. Hang in there and focus on the positive things you have in your life! God bless....
These wonderful women are right. I am so sorry you are feeling down about you arm. I have a son, Kyle who has BPI. I have been very upset about it lately. Mostly because one of his baseball coaches made a rude comment and for a mom that is like crossing in front of a grizzly bear! Or at least it is for me. I hurt for him. But he is a super kid and I pray he'll be okay emotionally.
I think she is right, they are probably looking at you because you are such a good looking girl. Ya know it is funny, when someone is over weight they think everyone is looking at them because they are fat, when someone is tall, they think they are looking at them because they are tall...I bet you are just a doll. Hang in there and focus on the positive things you have in your life! God bless....
Re: Feeling Down
Hi,
My name is Tami Rizer and Kyle was born in 1995 with a Right BPI. Since Kyle's birth I have looked for others who have children who have BPI for support but it is hard to find others in my area.
I just started a group on Yahoo groups called Special_BPI_kids. Yahoo groups is a great place for us to find more support for each other. I would like to extend and invatation to everyone who has a child to join, or anyone who is effected by BPI. I thought this would be a great place for us to share our experences and a wonderful place to support each other. You can find the group by going to www.yahoogroups.com The group name is "Special_BPI_kids If you have any trouble finding it and would like to join, feel free to email me and I can put you on. My email address is ezrizer@lakeozark.net
My name is Tami Rizer and Kyle was born in 1995 with a Right BPI. Since Kyle's birth I have looked for others who have children who have BPI for support but it is hard to find others in my area.
I just started a group on Yahoo groups called Special_BPI_kids. Yahoo groups is a great place for us to find more support for each other. I would like to extend and invatation to everyone who has a child to join, or anyone who is effected by BPI. I thought this would be a great place for us to share our experences and a wonderful place to support each other. You can find the group by going to www.yahoogroups.com The group name is "Special_BPI_kids If you have any trouble finding it and would like to join, feel free to email me and I can put you on. My email address is ezrizer@lakeozark.net
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Erica DeAnn
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2002 4:49 pm
Re: Feeling Down
Michelle...
Of course we all get down. I used to get so angry at life. I always wondered, "Why me???" I'd imagine being "normal" and things I could finally do. But after coming to this board, I realized, I am normal. Everyone has their problems...some are just noticeable to the naked eye. I've known beautiful "normal" people that are totally screwed up mentally, have no sense of humor, no intelligence, or are just plain mean!
Be grateful that you have a brain, a sense of humor, and your health. I always think how grateful I am that I'm not in a wheelchair....or blind....or deaf....or have a deformed face....or living in the streets!! Things could be worse.
You know what? Until last summer, I never wore a short sleeved shirt in public for 10 years. I'm now 25 and realize that I don't give a *blank* whether people stare at me. If they're going to be rude or mean, then I wouldn't want to associate w/ them anyway. I have plenty of friends and family that completely forget about my arm....and those are the people that I care about.
Be strong and you'll find your way through the hard times.
Luv,
Erica DeAnn
Of course we all get down. I used to get so angry at life. I always wondered, "Why me???" I'd imagine being "normal" and things I could finally do. But after coming to this board, I realized, I am normal. Everyone has their problems...some are just noticeable to the naked eye. I've known beautiful "normal" people that are totally screwed up mentally, have no sense of humor, no intelligence, or are just plain mean!
Be grateful that you have a brain, a sense of humor, and your health. I always think how grateful I am that I'm not in a wheelchair....or blind....or deaf....or have a deformed face....or living in the streets!! Things could be worse.
You know what? Until last summer, I never wore a short sleeved shirt in public for 10 years. I'm now 25 and realize that I don't give a *blank* whether people stare at me. If they're going to be rude or mean, then I wouldn't want to associate w/ them anyway. I have plenty of friends and family that completely forget about my arm....and those are the people that I care about.
Be strong and you'll find your way through the hard times.
Luv,
Erica DeAnn