Anger Survey

[francine]

Currently there is a team of psychologists and therapists (PTs) writing an article about anger pertaining to bpi injuries.

Can you help them by writing a post about what you are angry about - concerning this injury.

Keep each item as short as you possibly can - as many items as you can think of.

Thank you.

-francine

ps - I know that we try to stay as positive as possible on here and I don't want to start a negative trend but I also think it would be helpful if we are able to just state what we are angry about....many of us hold it in and that's not good either.

[Nan in On]

Hi Francine,
I originally posted to general message board, but thought I'd move it here where it really belongs.

Where to start...at the beginning of it all...are you ready for this?
I'm angry at myself for being "stoic" and not calling an ambulance but rather going to hospital with hubby in our car.
I'm angry at ER staff for assuming my abdominal pain was stomache flu and making me wait over an hour in the fetal position on the chairs in emergency.
I'm angry that it took 3 doctors, a CT scan, X-rays and over 12 hours to get me into surgery for a ruptured bowel and that they still didn't know what they were looking for...even tho' I had all of the obvious symptoms (I didn't know this then)of diverticulitis and peritonitis.
I'm angry at the OR staff for positioning me in a way during surgery which caused my RBPI.
I'm angry at nurses and the surgeon who told me the inability to raise my right arm after surgery was "normal weakness" after surgery.
I'm angry at my GP for not getting me into a neurologist before 5 months after the fact.
I'm angry that it took another 3 months to get into a neurosurgeon (where I was told it was too late for nerve surgery).
I'm angry at the complete denial by all of my physicians and the chief of staff at the hospital that they could have caused my BPI.
I'm angry that the chief of staff agreed to conduct an investigation and never got back to me about it.
I'm angry that our system is such that doctors are so fearful of a lawsuit that they must put the patients welfare on the line by denying possible causes which would lead to a proper,timely diagnosis and treatment.
I am angry that there is no system in place to compensate victims of "iatrogenic" injuries without the injured party risking all of their assets in a full blown malpractice suit (which in Canada they have little hope of winning unless the surgeon were to take out the wrong organ!).
I'm angry that I live with chronic pain, cannot work and the emotional and financial effect this has had on my family.
I'm angry that there was no "disability insurance" available to me through my place of employment and that the cost of getting it privately would have been astronomical.
I'm angry at our government disability pension system,which because of poor administration from day one, deals with their financial shortfall by denying ligitimately disabled people the pension they have been obligated to pay into their entire working life.
I'm angry with my husband's employer for "outsourcing" his departments work to countries like Brazil in the name of competition (GREED), and is now laying him off permanently.
I'm angry with my doctor for telling me I should not still have pain and rather than addressing the nature of my illness, bombards me with every pain and depression drug on the market.
I'm angry with the rheumatologist for telling me to "sit up straight" and buy a book on chronic pain.
I'm angry with the physiotherapist for not being overly concerned when after a number of treatments
with him my arm and hand turned BLUE.
I get angry with all people who assume that because I have an "invisible disability" that I am malingering.
I am angry with my CPP appeal lawyer for leaving me constantly hanging as to the status of my case and making me chase him down for answers.
I'm angry at myself for venting on my family (especially my mother...and best friend)and causing them increased stress.
Last but not least...I'm angry that typing what makes me angry hurts so much that it makes me angrier!
Sorry folks...but this was therapeutic indeed!
Nan

[RITA]

I am angry- that heart surgery lead to this BPI!
I am angry that the medical professionals would not take blame for the injury! That 2 years later I am still struggling w/ pain and fingers that do not work!

I am angry that family and friends never really understand that you can do many thing--like cannot open packages, cut food easily, tie shoelaces, open buttons....
I don't want to ramble on -- but that covers most of it! Contact me if you want more

[jennyb]

hi francine, who are these psychologists and where is the article going to be published? Just curious.....

I have never had any anger until i found these message boards and fund out avbout all the people and babies damaged by doctors, and read about how so many of them have to fight for diagnosis and treatment, i had no anger for my own injury, i felt glad to be alive at all, i even felt sorry for the lorry driver having to live with what he had done to me. I did have a lot of sorrow and despair early on, but not anger.

[francine]

We have a small team that will be writing two articles for the Outreach Awareness Special Issue for October. (But it will be in your hands in the summer.) The hope is that a program for anger will also be created and it might be somthing that can be brought to support groups around the country.

The team currently consists of a psychologist (with about 30 years of hospital experience) and two physical therapists (who have much experience with bpi) - who are also all Rubinfeld Synergists. The RS work is an alternative / or holistic 'take' on how the body and mind work together. It is beyond excellent work and I believe it can help a lot of people.

They are interviewing families / individuals as well - to gather their information.

I am very excited about it because I have faith that it will help a lot of people who are 'stuck' right now...so that they can go forward in their lives.

-francine

[George]

Good question Francine. I was angry at myself, early on, for being somewhere where I shouldn't have been at the time. The first thing they taught us in our Forestry classes in college was not to be in or near an area where machinery was working. I broke the cardinal rule and paid the price. No one to blame but myself.....but, for the most part, I have since moved away from that anger, and am a better person for it. But it didn't happen overnight.

I guess what gets me angry sometimes is the sheer pain from the residues of this injury. Nerve pain is so different from anything I've ever experienced. I remember now (with much fondness) how a normal day used to be. How I could get out of bed with a jump and go. How I didn't have to think how I would get the peanut butter on a sandwich. How long it takes to button a shirt sleeve. How embarassing it is to try and hold a plate at a salad bar.....and on and on. These still get me angry sometimes. And as much as I want to point a finger and blame something, I realize that the finger is pointing at ME. I guess what little anger I have comes when the "what if's" creep in. Two and a half years post injury......some anger.....but I think it's under control.

Want to know what I got really angry about?? Finding out the next morning that there wasn't a quick fix. Great question Francine.....I've really enjoyed reading the responses on All of the boards !! Gives good insight to what we are all going thru, regardless of how we were injured. The tie that binds.....

George

[kathy]

Thanks for giving me an outlet to express some of the anger I have had. First, I want to second everything George has said. Remembering what I used to could do, and comparing it to what I can do now makes me angry. Some of my anger is at the medical profession for making my injury worse by misdiagnosing my dislocated shoulder. I also feel very let down (angry) because I went to a hospital (where the injured are supposed to be taken care of) and they couldn't help me. Why do they profess to be perfect healers? I am angry to people who constantly ask "what happened to you?" and then don't want to hear the story. I am angry at the therapist who said "just try harder". I am angry at myself because I can't get over the anger.

Now, what am I thankful for......my very supporting family. A wonderful neurologist. A go-getter lawyer. My fellow TBPI friends I have met here, who truly understand.

Thanks
Kathy

[hazell]

im happy to be alive after my accident, happy it was only my arm, happy that the hospital did everything they could to get movement back but am soooooooo pissed off when the pain doesnt let up, think thats the only thing that makes me angry with my injury. take it by my positive post that today is a good pain day!!!!! & i dont have pmt.

bye crazy

[jennyb]

hi hazey, your pains ok but it's autumn here and mines getting baaaaad....i tried copper oil (homeopathic) it worked really well, give it a go.....and as for PMS.....roll on bluddy menopause is all i can say :0(

[hazell]

actually jen ive thought of a copper bracelet before but they turn your skin a bit green ill probably look down & think its gangrene!! i may try that & yes advantage of us going into summer if you can call it that, cant complain off to cyprus tomorrow.

& agreed on your last comment it makes me so bloody angry every month!! even the cat stays away now.

bye crazy