Our trial news...

[Natalee (Logan's Mom)]

well, guys, after 2 weeks of nonstop tears and no sleep, we lost.... Our jury was in support of the doctor. We have been absolutely floored, no words to describe how empty and shocked we feel, pure shock, no words... We just can't believe it. The doctor charted shoulder dystocia and positive turtle sign... I don't know what to say. I wanted so bad for Logan to win, to know she would be taken care of. Another lost child from juries who don't truly understand. They had paid physicians at $500 an hour to say what they wanted. One doctor said because I had signs of carpal tunnel syndrome (only during pregnancy) that an obpi is hereditary, oh another said that since she had no bruises this was a bpi from propulsive factors (even though I had a weak push effort), all it was was lies, lies, lies. And then the defense attorney said that the mod quad was a "minor surgery, they just arranged a few muscles", they brought out EVERY single missed therapy appt, not many but the jury didn't hear that I had a sick child or had to work, etc. I can hardly look at Logan, knowing we will never have another chance to help her, I feel like again I failed her. The doctor got away with murder, he injured my child, and lied about it. I don't know how we are going to get through this, it has been 3 1/2 years and I don't know how we will move on. I know we need to, our faith is spread thin in God, I know that is horrible to say. Absolutely nothing for Logan!!! Help us... How do you move through this??? The doctor was so smug, smiling and shaking hands with his attorneys, his attorneys were so mean, spiteful, MEAN, said horrible things, there is no way for me to prepare anyone for this. Our justice system is a joke, now we know how OJ got off... Please write, I need to hear you all, I don't know how to feel anymore about any of this, all of our lives have been cheated by this. How will I explain things to my baby one day? What are we going to do??? Another baby cheated by a doctors mistake, doctors we trust in... Nat

[phaliscak]

Hi Natalee,

You get through this the same way you did before the trial. Even if you did win, the end result is still the same. You need to take care of Logans needs. Yes, the money would bring some comfort to Logans future, but it's over and done with now and you must move forward.

I keep telling myself that all the time. Win or loose, everyone in that court room goes on with their lives when its all said and done without a second thought. I don't mean to sound cruel, but they are not loosing any sleep over it only you. In fact I'm sure they have forgotten all about you and Logan and have moved on to their next case.

The bottom line? It's you and Logan and your child needs you.

I hope I helped.

Patty

[Marnie]

I am sorry to hear your news Natalee, I hope that you will find the strength to go on for Logan. You did all you could, at least you tried, When Logan gets older she will never forget that, she will know that you did all you could, that's all you can do. Keep your head up.

Marnie

[Kathleen]

Natalie

I am so sorry to hear you lost...

You keep wondering what you will tell Logan... You will tell her the truth. You fought hard for her and did the best you could and that is all anyone can do.

She will not think you failed her - how could she... You tried. She will only remember how hard you worked to take care of her. She will someday honor you for all the effort you put into her daily care... A most important of all you give her the greatest gift any child could have - A LOVING MOTHER...

Hoping for a brighter day for you
Prayers for healing and blessing
Kath

[marymom]

I think mostly in court it isnt about the child but about winning(to the doctors) so screw 'em! You will rise above this !
Dont let them take your spirit.
(((Natalie)))

[karen r]

I'm so sorry, Natalie. I know a family who recently lost their case, too, if you'd like me to put you in touch with the mom.

Logan will be proud of her parents once she is old enough to understand how you continually go to bat for her. You hold your head high; you did nothing wrong. You have your pride, dignity, integrity, and honor intact. That's more than I can say for that doctor.

[Cara]

I am so sorry for you and your family. You have fought the good fight. I know it is hard right now, but keep your faith. God has another judgement day coming for all of us, where everyone is held accountable for what they have done and what they have failed to do. I know this probably offers little comfort right now, but in time it may be worth more to you. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Have happy Mother's day and enjoy your little on.

Peace be with you,
Cara

[francine]

Natalie - I don't understand the system and I never will. I'm sorry that this happened to you. You need to be really angry and get it out of your system and you need to grieve as well. I highly suggest some very active exercise - running /swimming - something that's going to help you release this anger. You don't want to carry this around forever.
Again, I'm truly sorry,
francine

[Georgeann P]

My heart is breaking for you! My heart is with you during this most difficult time, you are not alone! The only advice I can think of is just take one day at a time.

[Bridget]

Natalee,

I understand exactly how you feel, we too lost our case in court after a week of testimony in which the defense witness testimony actually supported our case! Despite this, despite all the proof of altered records, pre-natal care mistakes, the doctor admitting he MADE UP HIS OWN MANEUVER to relieve the shoulder dystocia...(not to mention his bald faced lies on the stand) we lost.

I would do it all over again, just the same. I learned so much from that process, about my son's birth, about who I am, about the justice system, about human nature. I could never have lived with myself if I hadn't pursued every possible avenue to help my son and to bring that doctor to justice, to make him face accountability for his actions. Even though we lost, it was something that I feel had to be done.

And it is true, regardless of the outcome, your love and care for your child will remain exactly the same.

The hurt of losing at trial, of having a jury of your peers determine that you are less believable than someone you KNOW is lying is devastating. Our trial was about five years ago, and it is still painful, one of the worst memories of my life. But the pain has faded, and in fact the whole experience gave me even more strength and determination to help my son and others with this injury.

I know how you felt when they brought up every missed therapy appointment, etc...they do everything possible to make you look like a horrible person, a bad mom...it hurts deeply. But, like someone said above, it is just a job for them, it is their job to make you look bad! I can't imagine having that kind of job myself, and it certainly speaks volumes about the moral character of those attorneys who choose that kind of work.

Right now I know you are feeling terrible, but please know that you will be okay, your self-esteem will return, your strength will return. You've just been through a very draining experience, and now you need to allow yourself time to recover and heal, yet again.

Blessings,
Bridget