United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Hello..

I went through and read many of the posts posted in this board and I have a question. What advice would you give to a parent of a child with obpi? Something you wish your parents would have done, something they did do that meant the world, just any advice.

As much as I would like to take his injury away, I can't, but I am determined to do the best I can with what we were blessed with.

My advice to you would be "Let your child try anything that they want" We know our limits,just let them be kids. Do not over protect them. If they want to play baseball, let them try. This goes for any sport or activity. You might see your child struggle ,but they are doing and trying things . My Mom would let me play any sport, I was not the greatest,but I had fun trying. I think that this made me a more stronger willed person.Please just let your kids be kids.
Judy

I agree with Judy. I was allowed to try everything within reason. I tried climb some trees that really beat me up so they became off limits without adult supervision. I was treated like any other normal child and thought I could do anything I put my mind too, because my Mom said I could. I was never allowed to say "I can't"... the usual response was always the same " can't means you won't." I think my Mom enabled me and never disabled me she gave me wings.

I would encourage you to be honest with your child. I was told I was injured when I was born and the doctor pressed too hard. Not once did I ever detect any anger towards the doctor that delivered me nor did my mother show her pain to me. My Mom never uttered the delivering doctors name( I looked it up 9 years ago on my birth certificate). My family constantly praised the doctors at New York Hospital who worked with them, advised them and made my brace. I was quite old when I discovered how much my injury hurt my parents emotionally. I think, when parents are angry at the doctors, the children perceive this unhappiness as their fault.

Letting kids be kids is so very important. We should not be made to feel like victims. Pampering and making a bpi child "special" will not help them to fit into society. Every child is special and if bpi children are pampered they will not fit with other children. It will make their lives so much harder.

Kath robpi/adult

I would only add this. Please include your child in all medical apointments'discussions. Even if your child cannot understand all that is said,he/she will know that it's ok to talk about his/her injuries. When he/she is old enough, please allow him/her's opinion to count.

Carolyn J
LOBPI

I agree with all the above. I was allowed to try anything I wanted. Climbed the monkey bars (I was allowed as per MD said I could), I did Ballet, I competed in figure skating, played clarinet in the school band, was a prefect for the school... all this made me stronger physically and emotionally/psychologically.

My parents were honest about how I was injured and I was always involved in medical appointments, especially as a pre-teen/teenager.

The only thing I wish my parents had done was make my elementary school gym teacher understand what I could/could not do (or could not do the same way).

Always make sure her teachers/coaches know that she may have limitations or that he/she may do things a different way to make it work for him/her.

Marieke 32, LOBPI

I also agree with everything said here.

Always let your child know that you Love them AS THEY ARE.

Marieke made a very valid point ! Always make sure her teachers/coaches know that she may have limitations or that he/she may do things a different way to make it work for him/her. This is SO important in allowing your child to try everything. Even though we do it differently, we still want to try to do it ALL....

I was never told I COULDN'T do something. My parents left me to figure out what I could and couldn't do, and HOW to do the things I could !

Loving unconditionally is really ALL that matters.......

Tina BiOBPI