Does anyone else have awkward moments?

This board is for adults and teens to discuss issues relating to BPI since birth (OBPI).
Baeta

Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by Baeta »

I'll emphasize on my title. When I went nails done for one of the first times(which is a universal girl thing to do when you're feeling bad or want to pamper yourself)i figured it would be relaxing and great. however, i came out more stressed and ready to cry then i was before i went in! the nail people started with my good arm, which they were fine. then i realized i had to show them my right arm(where my BP is) and i started panicking. when they asked for it i laughed and tried to explain it to them and they just stared! it was horrifying! in defense to the nail salon they recovered fast and tried the best they could to do my nails (my hand in a bit smaller and some of my finger are deformed) so i sat there feeling horribly awkward, ready to cry when the nail guy started tugging on my fingers which hurt soooooo bad. but i felt ashamed so i just took the pain. when i left I cried in my fiance's car. i ended up messing up a 40 dollar nail job when my fingers smeared the paint.....it was a terrible experience!!! So i was wondering if anyone has been in a terribly awkward moment because of their BP and how did you deal with it?
Kath
Posts: 3242
Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2002 4:11 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: I am ROBPI, global injury, Horner's Syndrome. No surgery but PT started at 2 weeks old under the direction of New York Hospital. I wore a brace 24/7 for the first 11 months of my life. I've never let my injury be used as an excuse not to do something. I've approach all things, in life, as a challenge. I approach anything new wondering if I can do it. I tried so many things I might never have tried, if I were not obpi. Being OBPI has made me strong, creative, more determined and persistent. I believe that being obpi has given me a very strong sense of humor and compassion for others.
Location: New York

Re: Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by Kath »

Beth
I've had so many of those moments and just when I think it does not bother me something happens to trigger those old feelings. I have not had as many since I learned so much about our injury and how it happened. Once your are more knowledgeable about obpi you will become more comfortable talking about. I use these moment to spread Awareness and Prevention. But I found UBPN just after if formed in 1999. So it's much easier for me now. I am also much older than you and more comfortable with explaining my injury. But I have not forgotten those days when I was still hiding my arm.

When I bought the gown for my son's wedding I picked out a beautiful dress. Of course, it had to be altered and the dressmaker kept commenting on how she never had a alter a dress so much because of the size difference in my shoulder and arm along with my back. My body is smaller on the right side. If you measure mid-line to spine. I was upset and did not know what to do but laugh it off. It was before I had answers for those people who are really not trying to be mean. They are a bit thoughtless and don't realize they are making us uncomfortable.

Once you have answers and begin to tell people this happened to you while the doctor was delivering you and it's a birth INJURY not a BIRTH DEFECT it seems people are interested in knowing how to prevent it.

I know just how you feel and waisting all that money to have it ruined... ugh.
I have always had to explain why I can't turn my hand over when they massage your hands. Next time explain your injury first and expect them to be gentle and respectful of your needs. You are paying for a service and I bet they will be more than willing to accommodate you.

Kath robpi/adult
Kath robpi/adult

Kathleen Mallozzi
Carolyn J
Posts: 3424
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2004 1:22 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: LOBPI. I am 77 yrs old and never had a name for my injuries until 2004 when I found UBPN at age 66.

My injuries are: LOBPI on upper body and Cerebrael Palsy on the lower left extremities. The only intervention I've had is a tendon transplant from my left leg to my left foot to enable flexing t age 24 in 1962. Before that, my foot would freeze without notice on the side when wearing heels AND I always did wear them at work "to fit in" I also stuttered until around age 18-19...just outgrew it...no therapy for it. Also suffered from very very low self esteem; severe Depression and Anxiety attacks started at menopause. I stuffed emotions and over-compensated in every thing I did to "fit in" and be "invisible". My injuries were Never addressed or talked about until age 66. I am a late bloomer!!!!!

I welcome any and all questions about "My Journey".
There is NO SUCH THING AS A DUMB QUESTION.
Sharing helps to Heal. HUGS do too.
Location: Tacoma WA
Contact:

Re: Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by Carolyn J »

Ohhhh My, Beth! Wow! Yeah, I've had dumb people to stuff like that... but it sure made me feel beter when I figure out Pedicures and Massages and having my hair done at a salon made my life easier besides pampering myself.

Yes, I agree with Kath that armed wsith the knowledge shared here, I've learned to educate Awareness for OBPI's & the resut is that "they" as questions and make me feel soooo smart to!...I need that,LOL.

HUGS,
Carolyn J
LOBPI/69 & Counting ;)
Carolyn J
Adult LOBPI
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marieke
Posts: 1627
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:00 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: LOBPI
no external rotation against gravity, can only go to 90 degree fwd flexion, no hand-to-mouth
1 surgery at age 14 (latissimus dorsi transfer). In 2004, at age 28 I was struck with Transverse Myelitis which paralyzed me from the chest down. I recovered movement to my right leg, but need a KAFO to walk on my left leg. I became an RN in 2008.
Location: Montreal, Qc, Canada
Contact:

Re: Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by marieke »

Beata,
I think at one point or another in our lives we have gone through something like that. What you need to do is find a simple and concise way to explain what you have and say it with confidence. Tell them what you need for them to be careful of or what they can do to avoid you hurting like that. It takes time to come up with a way to say stuff like that, and the more it comes up the easier it is. Start with telling friends/family, practice on the if that makes it easier.

Good luck, and don't forget, we are all here to support each other!
Marieke (32, LOBPI)
Marieke Dufresne RN
34, LOBPI
http://nurse-to-be08.blogspot.com
Baeta

Re: Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by Baeta »

Thank you sooo much for the feedback. I never really think to explain my arm to anyone because i am so used to it! I think i'll try a nail place again (because it wasn't all bad) and explain it to them. when i had to take CPR for my work the teacher was so very helpful and understanding. I'm going to man myself with information next time i have to do something with my hands. Thanks for the support.
User avatar
marieke
Posts: 1627
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:00 pm
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: LOBPI
no external rotation against gravity, can only go to 90 degree fwd flexion, no hand-to-mouth
1 surgery at age 14 (latissimus dorsi transfer). In 2004, at age 28 I was struck with Transverse Myelitis which paralyzed me from the chest down. I recovered movement to my right leg, but need a KAFO to walk on my left leg. I became an RN in 2008.
Location: Montreal, Qc, Canada
Contact:

Re: Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by marieke »

Glad to hear it! You go girl! :)
Marieke (32, LOBPI)
Marieke Dufresne RN
34, LOBPI
http://nurse-to-be08.blogspot.com
MaureenK
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:27 pm

Re: Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by MaureenK »

I never get manicures anymore, and I completely forgot why until my boyfriend's mother took me out to get a manicure over Christmas. It was so uncomfortable, and I smudged the heck out of it-- but it could have been worse. Over Christmas I survived a manicure and family photos, both of which suck for us with a BPI.

I worked a lot of cashier type jobs, and I frequently attempted to take change with my BPI hand (because my other hand was full). Since I can't supinate, I just end up making a cup shape with my hand to accept the change. People would just stare at me until I realized what I was doing. ....Awkward.
Baeta

Re: Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by Baeta »

I worked some cashier jobs too it was terribly awkward. I usually just put the change on the counter and counted it out that way! I used to do a lot of stocking and maintenance jobs before i started working with kids with autism and it was tough. I remember working as pool maintenance and i couldn't hold the hose to clean the pool underwater with my arm so i stepped on it. Then i accidentally suctioned the hose to my leg! it was painful, but i laugh about it now.
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karategirl1kyu
Posts: 363
Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2007 12:59 am
Injury Description, Date, extent, surgical intervention etc: LOBPI, had surgery when I was 9- they moved muscles and tendons from one side of my arm to the other side. I can lift my arm to about my eye level, can't straigten it all the way and can't completely supinate my wrist.
Location: Richmond, RI

Re: Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by karategirl1kyu »

Ive had a few cashier jobs too, and i hear you on the change thing... i figured out a way to do everything with my right arm.. and though it may look funny to others- it works.

another awkward moment- my friend asked me to go to the drive up atm, i was like i'm going to have to get out of the car (i have LOBPI)! she was like- you can do it... i ended up opening the door and hanging out the window in such an awkward fashion that anyone who saw the atm tape prolly had a fit of laughter!

~Mel
~Mel/23/LOBPI
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smith727
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Dec 20, 2004 11:18 am

Re: Does anyone else have awkward moments?

Post by smith727 »

Being an OBPI with a right side injury and an unarmed self defense instructor... you want to talk about awkward?
Every time I have to teach a women's rape defense course, it is a hassle. I just start out anymore with this statement:

"Before we get started I want you all to realize that I have a brachial plexus injury to my right arm and shoulder, so if some of these techniques look a little awkward, or the uncommon way that I use my right arm causes you to not understand the technique, stop me and let me know; it's okay, you won't embarrass me."

Since I started doing that, it seems to make everyone more comfortable, and the whole thing seems to flow smoother.
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