United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

We are getting ready for another surgery. I have this strong desire to send my ob pictures and a description of everything my child has been through. Could this hurt my legal case? I know that's probably a question for my lawyer but I'm just wondering if any of you have done anything like this. My blood just boils thinking that he's hurt more than one baby and continues to deliver babies. He also had the nerve to lie in his depositions and claim that he has no idea how this injury occurred. Our lives are turned upside down and he continues his regular life.

my lawyer instructed us to have NO contact whatsoever. I've thought about doing that before also!

Well....We got through with our lawsuit about 4 weeks ago and lost. But for this subject I told my attorney that I was not going to let my OB forget my son and was going to send pictures after every surgery and give him an update. My attorney said good for me! If this is considered harrassment then so be it. I do not plan on being ugly to the dr in any way. He "expressed concern" in court for my son so now I will give him the chance to prove it.
Rhonda

I completely understand how you feel...our lawsuit is just starting and I've already told my family that if we lose, I'm printing up T-shirts for all of them to wear with Blake's picture on them and saying"Ask me what Dr. ...did to my (nephew, grandson, son". Try not to let your anger get the best of you, I tell myself that if I let it do that to me, then the doctor has already won.

I surely do understand everyones anger but I do not think it is good for the child or for the parents to be so angry at the doctor.

I think having so much anger about what the doctor has done to your child and your life is bound to reflect on the child that he or she isn't loved just the way they are. I also think it could teach the child to hate and blame the doctor for all that goes wrong in their lives as they grow up. A child with an injury IS who they are now. To me - looking at my child and saying "I hate what the doctor did to you" is about the same as saying "I hate the way you look and do things" - or that is probably what the child would hear.

I asked my daughter how she felt about the doctor who delivered her when she was 6. She said, "I bet he is really sorry...it must make him sad that he hurt my arm". I have no idea if he is really sorry or not - - but it has always helped her, me, all of us to deal, try to forgive, and move forward. She knows that the doctor did not intentionally hurt her. I don't think any doctor/midwife would intentionally hurt a baby. That does not mean that the doctor/midwife is not at fault though....

When I was a child, I think that if my parents would have watched me and then started cursing the doctor for the way I moved, the medical bills, therapy costs, or the splint I was wearing, I would feel so responsible for making them angry and disappointing them and probably be angry with myself for being the way I was. I would probably really dislike myself for what I put my family through. That is alot of guilt for a child who is innoscent.

I know that you all love your kids, and the anger comes from watching them have to struggle and hurt which is very painful. I am just thinking of the child's viewpoint of how you view the doctor that injured them.

Christy

Well said Christy. Never thought of it that way. Also, about the T-shirts, I think that would be Defamation of character, would'nt it? And that is punishable by law. Good idea though!
---Paula

I don't think you should have any contact with the OB. As much as we'd all like to "share our pain," it won't do any good, especially with a lawsuit pending. Try to shake it off, and direct that anger in a positive way...like educating others about bpi's but without naming names!

Okay...first of all my anger does not transfer to my child. He has asked what happened to his arm and I have told him the dr. did it when he was born but he knows it was an accident. I also believe it was an accident but to listen to a week of testimony that totally takes the focus off of the accident and blame it on other things is what makes me angry. This anger does not consume my life but the injury does.
Rhonda

Rhonda - I'm sorry if my post came across wrong. It must be hell going through the week of testimony. My post was really a general post because I know that our kids hear alot more than we think they do. They know when their parents are upset and they hear their names involved in the angry conversations. I was just venting some feelings. Good luck to you in your lawsuit and I hope your child wins big. Christy

Christy,
I understand what you mean. All three of my children seem to listen to my conversations more than they need to. :0) About our lawsuit...We lost about 4 weeks ago. That is where most of my frustration comes from now. No justice and no closure. I am slowly transferring the anger into more awareness. I feel a little more free to talk about my son's injury since I am no longer bound with pending litigation. I have been on these boards for 3 years but have rarely posted because of the lawsuit. So now that it is over I can talk. Sorry if I was a bit rough on my other post.
LOL,
Rhonda