United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Hey Everyone
I really need advice Frankie was offered a job at an auto repair shop by our house cleaning the place, its just a few hours a week but I'm concerned about overuse in his good arm, I mean between writing and typing in school all day then work I just don't want to blow out his good arm, but I also know that I can't shelter him from the real world but is 14 too young. He is really into cars and the owner is a friend so I don't think he would be to hard on him I just know that wed I'm having surgery because of over use in my right arm from my job and I can still use my left I just don't want to cause a problem now its not like he needs the money but I think it would teach him responsbility. Mare

I worked part time as a school janitor during my high school years. I worked 10 hrs/week plus full time during the usual school holidays. I swept and mopped the school room floors, emptied the trash, used heavy buffing machines, and anything else I was told to do. The pay was very good - a lot more than my friends were making at the local hamburger joint - which was the primary reason for applying for the job.

I didn't have any overuse issues and never have but then my injury might be less severe than Frankie's.

However, the work made me realize that doing physical labor with my ROBPI was a problem. It wasn't a problem doing the part-time classroom cleaning, pushing a broom, etc. but when I had to work on major maintenance work during the vacation periods, I couldn't work as well as my fellow workers. I couldn't effectively work overhead. That's when I realized that I needed to prepare for a career that didn't involve physical labor.

I'd let him give it a try. Hopefully, it'll teach him something about what he can and can't do and prepare for a career like managing a repair shop rather than repairing the cars. The responsibility of showing up every day and doing a good job, being a valued employee for a paycheck, probably won't hurt either.

John P.
ROBPI for 68 years

Thank you John, Frankie has no use of his left hand or arm but does adapt well. but like you were saying I want him to realize sooner rather then later in life that it will be hard for him to do a manual job and perhaps he would rather be an owner or manage a business then try to do manual labor. I just had to discuss with him the fact that he had to explain to his new boss (not my friend but his uncle does the hiring he doesn't know frankie ) that he only has use of one arm. I swear Frankie just looked at me like I was stupid and said, Won't he figure it out when he see's me work! How do I answer that???? I raised Frankie never to hide his arm or feel uncomfortable about it he is very out going and socializes a lot and never has had a problem he even went to school in his mod quad splint by choice he could have had the teachers come to the house, so I don't get what the problem is or should I say the attitude is all about. Any insight??????

Speaking from experience let him hide it for the interview if he is more comfortable that way. I didnt hide my injury for my first real job interview and was discriminated against (didnt get the job as the guy hiring thought I couldnt do it). I hid the injury for my second job interview and got the job then after a couple weeks of hiding it I let them knowand they dont treat me any different. My PCA job that I have now, I thought I would let the parents know and they totally treat me different so I had an interview last night and again I hid my injury and I got the jobs. They will eventually find out but for now, they do not need to know because I will not let it affect my performance!

So if Frankie is confident in his abilities let his go to the interview and experience the job. Hopefully like John said he will see manual labor is maybe not what he will want to do for the rest of his life. It should definitely teach him responsibility as you have to learn to budget your time! Maybe make a deal with him, school comes first! If the grades start to drop then the job has to go. If it works out right, his grades may even improve because he will have to be more responsible with his time!

Good luck to Frankie!
Hugs,
Amy

Mare
I worked at my first job when I was 15.
I agree with John it will help him to realize what he needs to do to plan for his future.
My son had several jobs when in high school and in college. All them taught him the value of getting a college education for his future.
It's great experience for him.

Kath

Amy
Frankie got the Job starts tomorrow. I kinda thought a job was the way to go with Frankie since he doesn't play sports anymore and really just likes to hang with his friends and skate board. I felt this might give him a sense of purpose. He will only be working 1 1/2 hrs mon thur fri and 2 1/2 on Sat so it shouldn't affect his grades. Kids in High School now only have 4 periods a day 1 being a 2 hr study hall boy how times have changed he never has homework. Frankie says jr high was harder. Thanks for the advice I'm not going to say anything else about it and just let him handle it in his own way. OH NO the mom in me says I should tell them, what if he gets hurt or is asked to do something he shouldn't using his left arm and is afraid to say no because he didn't tell them in the begining. I know they won't fire him because of it and the owner does know about Frankie and his surgery's I just don't think he told his uncle the one who will be supervising Frankie and to be honest I don't think Jim even remembers about his arm it rarely comes up now that he is older and he has learned to hide it well even with the dramatic size difference. Should I tell Uncle Bob without frankie knowing or just leave it alone.????? I know I ask to many questions and worry toooo much. Mare

I think you should leave him alone so that work can be "his thing" without having his mom interfere. He's a teenager and they are rather sensitive to these things. What if you told him it was his job and his responsibility to handle how he wants to discuss his arm, but that you'd be happy to talk about any issues he's having and help him figure out the best way to resolve them? That way he knows you are there as backup, but he can feel like he's handling himself at work. He's going to have these situations for the rest of his life, so maybe this is a good environment for him to work out how he wants to address them, knowing you're right there if he needs you.

Thank You Everyone
I'm going to keep my nose out of it and like you said Carrie let work be his thing. I know I baby him but he is my only child and I have been both mom and dad to him. I know I have to let him grow up. My husband always teases him saying I'm going to be rooming with Frankie in college and how when he starts to drive I'll be in the back seat. Oh well time to get a puppy Mare

lol Mare,
Time to get a puppy, that may really help you not worry so much about Frankie. If he is anything like the rest of ub bpi people we will be way strong and handle things as they come up.
I am glad you have chosen to stay out of it and let work be Frankie's thing, that should give him a lot of independence! Like the others have said, this will be Frankies thing for the rest of his life! We have to do what we have to do. As long as he is confident in his abilities he has no need to tell them and give them a reason to doubt his abilities. Mayne times we work so hard to bring about a normalcy and it sounds as though Frankie has done just that.

Tell him I say WAY TO GO!!! Congrats on the job!
Hugs,
Amy

I'll tell him thanks again Amy
Hugs Mare