United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

I am getting so tired of trying to do everything with one hand or having to rely on someone else to do it for me. How do you adjust to a one handed life?

I did something simple yesterday. I ordered a cheeseburger at a neighborhood meat shop yesterday. I went to take it out of the box only to find it was not cut all the way through. I took out a knife to cut it. It was on a thick roll. I finally got it cut, I went to grab the sandwich from the other half and found I had a hand filled with the vegetables on the sandwich and no bread on the bottom. The sandwich was cut at the wrong angle so that the bottom of the sandwich had virtually no bread. This sent me into a burst of tears. All I wanted was to eat a sandwich like a normal person. Instead here I was stuck with a mess that a person would two hands could fix but I couldn't. I got so mad I through the sandwich in the trash.

I have a king size bed and needed to change the sheets. Here I am again with a job I can't do.

I have an appointment tomorrow to have a rod placed on the directional of my car so I can use the directional with my right hand because right now I have to reach through my steering wheel to do it. I had to pay $300.00 for the Drivability Test and another $125.00 for this item.

All I want to do is sit down and cry. I am not usually like this. I just seem to keep running into things I just can’t do. Any suggestions! I'm just so frustrated!

Janelle

Janelle,

My first suggestion: DO NOT FEEL FRUSTRATED.
Many of us in this forum are having (I may say, WERE having) same set of problems. I would say, with one hand we may not be able to do all the things, as before. But, we can do many of those, little differently. Earlier, our system was trained with 2 hands; now, we need to train it with single hand. The system, earlier also had taken enough time to master the things; now also, it will take some time to master the things with one hand. But, eventually, we will be able to.

I read your previous posts (http://ubpn.org/messageboard/thread ... 855#154855), you have very good will power. Don't sit back.

As far as the jobs, you mentioned in this post, you can easily do it with one hand.

1) for sandwich: Use few sandwich sticks.
2) For changing sheets: Use clips.

Do I make sense?

Cheers,
Raghu

Janelle,
Don't give up. It may take you a little bit longer to do a seemingly easy task, but you can do them. I used to tell my daughter, "Don't always think of the things you can't do, look at the things you can do." She recently moved out on her own so that she would be forced to do things on her own instead of easily relying on me or other family members. She was also sick of relying on others. She has found that she can do everything except put her hair up in a pony tail and she is trying to figure a way out to do that! Hooking her bra used to be a hassle for her also but with a clothespin, she has mastered that now. I know it's easier said than done but try to look at the positives and not the negatives. She does have some helpful tools like a cutting board with a corner so she can butter bread and it also has nails sticking up so she can slice apples or onions. In her shower she has pump dispensers for her shampoo and soap. She also tends to use her teeth and her legs for opening things and holding onto things. I think you just have to find your own way of adapting and then it becomes second nature like when you had use of 2 hands. She still has moments when she gets very frustrated too.

Janelle and Srhyherd,

I know how hard this must seem. I had to laugh at the statement that my daughter can now do everything but put her hair up in a ponytail. At our 2nd camp that was the joke with Ryan, he can do anything but put his hair up in a ponytail and let me tell you he can. Ask anyone. At camp this year he also climbed the pole with one hand/arm and went on the zipline. They didn't let me watch and told me afterwards. He also lives alone and when he tell me what he has done during the week, it does amazes. I am sure it isn't easy.

What I am trying to tell you is if they want or need to do something they seem to find away. It may not be the way you and I would do it but it does get done.

Janelle you will find your own way of doing things and before long you won't even notice you are doing it.

Hugs,

Karen mother to Ryan(30) LTBPI

Thank you ALL for your support & suggestions. I'm usually a very up beat person. Usually I'm the one that says, "I do not believe in crying over spilt milk. Just grab the paper towels, clean up the mess and go on with what you have left." I just think I'm having a bad week.

My pain management specialist has done a great job for me. I just started the last stage of the program & maybe having a reaction to that.

I am now on 10 mgs of methadone 3 x's daily, 800 mgs of Neurontin 4 x's daily & 30 mgs of nortriptyline once a day. That is the one that was a build up program, 10 mgs once a day for two weeks, 20 mgs once a day for two weeks & now 30 mgs once a day till further notice. I did have different reactions at each increase. The reactions subside after a few days. I'm hoping this is all that it is. It sure is nice to be off oxycondone completely.

Odd as it may sound, but my friend visited the last time the first week of my accident on 1/2/07 and decided to visit this week as an intent visitor. This visitor may have a lot to do with my negative attitude.

I burned my left hand with a second-degree severe burn on my palm on my toaster oven on 9/5/07. My OT asked me about it that day. Told her I didn't know I did it. Mike & I have been taking care of it twice a day. Just another instance of how this injury is ruling my life.

Sorry I sound so down. I really do appreciate the up thoughts you all are sending me.
Janelle

G'Day Mate,

Don't get down, don't give this injury the energy to rule your life.

3 Rules to living One Handed
1. You DO NOT have One Hand. You have 4 FINGERS AND 1 THUMB
2. Body Positioning - use whats available from your body to assist, eg Opening a soft drink bottle - plce the bottle in thec corner of kitchen bench then brace it there with your hip, now your hand is free to unscrew the lid.
3. Tools - Always keep your eyes open for tools that may help eg. I loop an old belt over the top of my clothes basket to use as a handle so I don't need help.

Necessity is the mother of invention. The rule above that has helped me more than any is 4 fingers 1 thumb. Teach yourself to tie shoelaces with your hand, it's really easy and shows just what can be achieved.

By thinking 'One Hand' you limit yourself.

Cheers and Chin Up

Jamie & Jack(LTBPI)

Wow, the first few years I don't know how I did things! It seems so long ago. I have adapted in so many ways that I don't even know I am doing it until someone asks "Why do you do ______ it that way?"

For me with the cheese burger I would have taken it back and asked them to cut it for me. You did not mess that up. They did by not cutting it correctly. Of course I am assuming you were still at the place you bought it at. However, I think one of my most embarrassing moments was at a steak house. It was one of those days that my hand would not work for love nor money. I had to have my husband cut my steak for me. I thought I was going to cry right there. But, we made some joke about it and moved on.

I think it is perfectly normal to get tired of doing everything one handed. Even when my hand is working I don't rely on it. I get tired of doing things "differently". But, you know what I get them done. Slower, much slower, but done none the less. I think that is where I get frustrated. It takes me forever to get something done. What will take someone else a day will take me three to four (example: painting a room). Then I will not be able to move for a week afterwards. Taking a road trip... always have to add an hour or two to my travel time. I need to stop more often and rest my arm. Plus, after the trip there is always several days of recoup time. This is my normal. I am okay with my normal.

Let me tell you something two handed it is hard to change the sheets on a king sized bed!! What I normally do is get the corners on one side hooked in good and tight before moving to the next side. I always have to go back and straighten things up. As long as you can get two corners hooked the others are not to bad. I like the ideas of hooks to hold the sheet in place.

Get the gadgets!! I just bought (today) a 3 in 1 "opener". It is a jar opener, can opener and bottle opener all in one! It is by Black & Decker. It has already helped me. I have a can opener also by Black & Decker called the Gizmo. LOVE IT! I have cutting boards and mixing bowls with the grippers on the bottom. The cutting board mentioned sounds wonderful. There was a past Outreach where we all listed some of our gadgets that make our lives easier. See if you can find it and read it.

Sit down, cry, get it out of your system. We all need a good cry every now and again. Just remember we are here for you.

SRHYKERD, I gotta know how your daughters gets her bra on with a clothespin!? Seriously! My bra is the hardest thing for me to get on. I hook it in front and turn it but am starting to have problems with that.

Janelle

If it is any consolation, I have been BPI for 15 years now and the sandwich thing still gets on my nerves. Sometimes, I get so mad that I just want to take the sandwich and chuck it at the person that made the sandwich. So far, I have refrained. But when I do, I will post all about it Having a board like this is very helpful, as you find that you are not alone in your daily struggles with one arm - like trying to turn dirty socks from inside out to inside in... I use my mouth.

It is the little things that get on your nerves like putting jam on toast or trying to put Ketch Up from a big dispenser on a Hot Dog. In my 15 years, I have learned that it is best to approach with a sense of humor and to not be afraid to ask for help. Like someone else posted, walk to the front of the line and make them cut it all the way ! I undersatand the frustration and it is OK to cry but remember too that there are far more complicated things that you face each day that require your brain and intelligence. Focus on those and be proud of those accomplishments.

One of my best friends tried to see what it was like to get around with one hand. He was at a Fast Food restuarant and had to fill his cup with soda. He could not figure out how to it with one hand so he just literally used his head to press up against the dispenser. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy - we all had a good laugh.

-Rich

Hiya..yes I know well the sandwhich frustration! I just rip the thing to bits now and never mind if anyone sees me or thinks what a slob I am!! Anyway, I have to disagree a little bit with the person who said don't get frustrated...definitely DO get frustrated..it makes you think kind of sideways and you work out all these weird and wonderful ways of doing stuff. The head trick on a drinks dispenser is a really good one...I've been doing that for years now. The pony tail thing I have never bothered with, I like my hair to just hang loose, but one of my mates has it down pat...he uses a door to tie up his hair...seriously! Have a look here

http://www.tbpiukgroup.homestead.com/yeti_hairtie.html

It works too I've seen him do it!

Best of luck..keep hanging in there. You'll invent weird and wonderful ways of doing stuff; it's all a learning curve and can sometimes be a laugh too..! :0)

Lizzyb