Tommy answer to your ? grief, losses, gains. long
Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2007 10:15 am
Tommy
I put this on a new thread for you. Since you are new I am sure you have many questions.
When I began to search for information about Erb's Palsy, I was shocked to learn that it was not a rare injury.
I was also surprised that so many children were being injured daily.
I found only 3 adults online and the rest were all parents of injured children.
I read the parents stories and fears and began to get really upset because I suddenly realized I was seeing my own poor mother's pain.
I became angry that she blamed herself and suffered in silence.
I felt so sad for the parents, kids, siblings etc.
One day someone published a poem called Holland.
I immediately hated it and felt very upset and after reading it I realized I had some issues of my own to deal with.
I went through all the normal steps of grieving.
I finally realized that this was MY injury and I was entitled to feel some pain of loss and grief about the changes it made in MY life.
I felt sad at first, then angry and finally forgiving.
I was sad at about all the dreams I lost because I lost function.
I was angry someone injured me and changed my life, ambitions and dreams.
I was angry someone made my parents feel guilty.
I was angry that there was no apology for the doctors mistake.
I then began to forgive.
My mother showed no anger towards the doctor and never mentioned his name.
I had to forgive him he had already met a higher Judge.
I thought about all my losses and in the process I realized I had gained many personal traits that were a direct result of this injury.
They are traits that contribute to the person I am today.
On the General Message Board a parent asked me what I lost.
As I began to type, off the top of my head I just spilled it all out.
When I finished, I realized I also listed what I gained Some how, I think putting my feelings into words made my grief process complete.
It was published in one of the older Outreach editions.
I think I still have a copy of it if you would like to read it.
Right now I think I could make some additions to that original post/article.
I have gained so much because I have contact with so many bpi involved people.
Kath robpi/adult
Notice all the "I" statements.
When I began to realize that this was my injury and not some random act/accident, I took ownership of it.
Then I realize "I" had a right to grieve and once "I" allowed myself that short piety party and accepted me for who I am...
I was fine!
There are moments of frustration from time to time but I am much more comfortable in my own skin.
If someone has a problem with MY injury that is just their problem.
I will give them information and education but no excuse.
I don't have to prove anything to anyone.
I not less for this injury nor am I more.
Message was edited by: Kath
I put this on a new thread for you. Since you are new I am sure you have many questions.
When I began to search for information about Erb's Palsy, I was shocked to learn that it was not a rare injury.
I was also surprised that so many children were being injured daily.
I found only 3 adults online and the rest were all parents of injured children.
I read the parents stories and fears and began to get really upset because I suddenly realized I was seeing my own poor mother's pain.
I became angry that she blamed herself and suffered in silence.
I felt so sad for the parents, kids, siblings etc.
One day someone published a poem called Holland.
I immediately hated it and felt very upset and after reading it I realized I had some issues of my own to deal with.
I went through all the normal steps of grieving.
I finally realized that this was MY injury and I was entitled to feel some pain of loss and grief about the changes it made in MY life.
I felt sad at first, then angry and finally forgiving.
I was sad at about all the dreams I lost because I lost function.
I was angry someone injured me and changed my life, ambitions and dreams.
I was angry someone made my parents feel guilty.
I was angry that there was no apology for the doctors mistake.
I then began to forgive.
My mother showed no anger towards the doctor and never mentioned his name.
I had to forgive him he had already met a higher Judge.
I thought about all my losses and in the process I realized I had gained many personal traits that were a direct result of this injury.
They are traits that contribute to the person I am today.
On the General Message Board a parent asked me what I lost.
As I began to type, off the top of my head I just spilled it all out.
When I finished, I realized I also listed what I gained Some how, I think putting my feelings into words made my grief process complete.
It was published in one of the older Outreach editions.
I think I still have a copy of it if you would like to read it.
Right now I think I could make some additions to that original post/article.
I have gained so much because I have contact with so many bpi involved people.
Kath robpi/adult
Notice all the "I" statements.
When I began to realize that this was my injury and not some random act/accident, I took ownership of it.
Then I realize "I" had a right to grieve and once "I" allowed myself that short piety party and accepted me for who I am...
I was fine!
There are moments of frustration from time to time but I am much more comfortable in my own skin.
If someone has a problem with MY injury that is just their problem.
I will give them information and education but no excuse.
I don't have to prove anything to anyone.
I not less for this injury nor am I more.
Message was edited by: Kath