Hi I was wondering how people with TBPI deal with relationships? Did anyone lose a wife, husband, girlfriend or
boyfriend due to the stress of the injury? Im 8 months post op and I find that the stress of my injury is affecting my relationship. I'm just looking for some feedback. Thanks very
much
Tyson aka Colin
Relationships
Re: Relationships
Well Tyson it ain't easy.
I was lucky. A girlfriend I had broken up with few months before accident came to see me in hospital. We still had feelings for each other and she stood by me. Been together for 22yrs now.
But got to say it hasn't been easy for her, at the beginning. I had a lot of emotions to deal with and could be very bad tempered and the pain didn't help my mood any. I could lose my temper very quickly. but she stuck by me and I've learned to live with my injury. (Although now looking seriously into amputation)
I think if I was single now I may find it very difficult to attempt dating again. For a couple of years after my accident I truly did not believe the doctors when they said I'd never regain the use of my arm. I really believed it would eventually come good. I say this because my wife has asked in the past if I simply settled for her because I thought I may find it difficult finding another partner. This was certainly not the case.
Fortunately, my wife is a clinical psychologist so you can imagine she has been able to understand my moods etc. Not that I have many these days.
The only advice I would give to anybody, particularly people with a fairly new injury looking to date, is, learn to live with your injury and accept it before thrusting it on to anybody else, as I'd imagine most people couldn't understand what your going through and may find it hard to cope.
Time is a great healer as they say!
All the best
Mike
I was lucky. A girlfriend I had broken up with few months before accident came to see me in hospital. We still had feelings for each other and she stood by me. Been together for 22yrs now.
But got to say it hasn't been easy for her, at the beginning. I had a lot of emotions to deal with and could be very bad tempered and the pain didn't help my mood any. I could lose my temper very quickly. but she stuck by me and I've learned to live with my injury. (Although now looking seriously into amputation)
I think if I was single now I may find it very difficult to attempt dating again. For a couple of years after my accident I truly did not believe the doctors when they said I'd never regain the use of my arm. I really believed it would eventually come good. I say this because my wife has asked in the past if I simply settled for her because I thought I may find it difficult finding another partner. This was certainly not the case.
Fortunately, my wife is a clinical psychologist so you can imagine she has been able to understand my moods etc. Not that I have many these days.
The only advice I would give to anybody, particularly people with a fairly new injury looking to date, is, learn to live with your injury and accept it before thrusting it on to anybody else, as I'd imagine most people couldn't understand what your going through and may find it hard to cope.
Time is a great healer as they say!
All the best
Mike
-
minxthelinx
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:51 pm
Re: Relationships
well i cant talk for others but my relationship was strong before bpi however the few month leading up to it were tense then bpi came along and things got harder and we got further apart. i am now a changed person and my marrage survived the storm. i am a fast recovery but id be willing to say that if my recovery took longer id be devorced now instead my marrage is getting stronger every week that goes by. Be strong and understanding and if its true it will survive.