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Just Think

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:12 am
by catchatrain
Just think........No offence to anyone.You all worked very hard to be where you are.But me I have only worked a short time.

I guess that makes me less than my own piers.

Kind of funny I guess.

I have screaming for help since I was injured.Still can't get anyone to listen to me.

All along I should have just asked.$7300.00

As I said I am new,and have many years of denial ahead of me before I get to where I can get that kind of help.

I have degraded myself as to be a little child and only measured inches where you have gained feet.

Sorry, It's just disturbing when you read people getting better. Is it all of you recieving care at once ,or are you splitting it up.

I cant blame my phlite on anyone but me,So I guess I should shut up.

Re: Just Think

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:20 pm
by ptrefam
Marshall,
No one knows why. I don't know that anyone is to blame. Here everyone feels guilty, Dustin's best friend because he kept him up late. His sister because she told him she wished he would die. His girlfriend because he drove back and forth to see her. It's not their fault. It just happened and we will never know why. Dustin remembers most of the accident, even things that should be impossible to remember but not what the cause was.

I remember arriving at the hospital to be told, by the minister, that he had 4 broken limbs. That he was in a coma and that we would see a lot of blood. When we finally were able to go back to see him I knew he was dead. I thought how can anyone be so cold and pale and still be alive. It also struck me that there was no blood as we had been warned.

We spent 7 weeks and 2 days there. Every day from 8-4 or later I was there with him. I watched every improvement. I never thought I could be so happy as to see my son open his eyes. But with each improvement there was also a new challenge. When he woke his TBI made him aggitated. He was in a state where he would scream out. Get easily upset. It was hard. The next phase as he passed out of this one was to be emotional. As I pushed him for hours and miles through the hospital he would tell everyone that they were attractive. Didn't matter how old, young or what sex. You were attractive. Imagine my embarrassment. Eventually he would try to explain that he was injured from a fight. I would say "No, Dustin,you were in an accident". He would then say oh yes an accident." After the other guy hit me he tried to leave so I got out and started beating him up". Eventually people would mention that his arm looked broken and he would work that into his story. "Both my arms broke but I kept beating him". This was his reality.

The drs and therapists never thought he would be back in school this year. It first took 6 people to help him walk. He eventually learned to do it himself. One day they would test him and he couldn't remember what they were teaching him, but the next it was like that reminder had opened the door to that area. This needed to be done for everything.

I spent days, weeks, wondering what his life could be like post accident. His mind is back. His legs have some difficulty. His arm is flail. But he is strong. If nothing improves from what he has today it will all have been worth it. And for some reason I have can't remeber what he was like before.

It is hard, he can't play football, jog, swim, ect. He has gone back to school and tries not to focus on what he can't do. He's asked me from very early on what type of job he could get. With one arm and not being able walk stable I had no idea how to answer him.

Yes you are right everyone here has worked incredibly hard for what they have. I don't know that I could continue to hold out hope and work with the slow progess that is made in the BPI. But we look at where Dustin was, what could have been and we know that we have been blessed. His future plans will have to change. I don't think you can do neurosurgery with one hand. But he's looking at teaching.

You Marshall have also made great strides, I think you have just forgotten the progess you have made thus far. Your accident was just a short time before Dustin and we still are hoping for more improvements. Don't give up hope for in hope you find the courage and resolve to keep fighting the hard battle. You are not less than anyone. I think that all the BPI injured have struggled with this battle. It is a big adjustment with so many unanswered questions. But think where you were and where you are. Be thankfull for what you do have.

This morning Dustin said "I saw a man in an electric wheelchair, he couldn't walk and had no hands" "I don't have it so hard after all". Later as he thought about where to get enough money for his course this summer he said "why me".

There are no perfect answers to this. But I am thankfull for each and every person that has shared here with us. For your knowledge your understanding and caring. We are also blessed to know you.

Keep up the good fight and may you have many more good days than bad.
Bless you,
Sue

Re: Just Think

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:08 pm
by Pier Jumper
If it is any consolation - physcally, I am no better now then I was after my injury. My left arm is completely paralyzed. There has been no recovery at all. Yes, there is also pain.

BUT, I will say that I am a stronger person. What you do not gain back physically, you gain back mentally. You need to overcome this injury mentally and learn to move forward. My Dad told me that if you spend all your time and energy trying to get the one arm better, you forget that you have a brain that still works, you have two working legs and a functional right arm. You hope for the best but plan for the worst.

Hang in there, my bigget motivation in moving forward was that I did not want to have to depend upon anyone or ask anyone for help - to me this was very liberating.

Good Luck to you !

Re: Just Think

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:55 pm
by srhykerd
That's exactly right! You have to look at the things you can do and not dwell on the things you can't do!

Re: Just Think

Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 4:51 pm
by Stuart
I'm R-TBPI, going on 7 years. I lost complete function of my entire arm with zero improvement after 10 operations including nerve transfers.

I don't have any pain, and if I do I don't know it or realize it. I've never really paid attention to my arm. Most of the time it doesn't even cross my mind that my arm is paralyzed.

I'm in my second year of lawschool and I don't let anything get in my way. People say I have a great attitude, but it's just the way I am. There is nothing you can do to change anything and it's a waste of time and energy to be negative.

I've learned to politely refuse help from anyone for anything. Repetition is the only way to master something.

I look at living one-handed as a challenge and I'm up for it. Not because I have to, but because I want to.I find a way to do everything and I don't give up. Even if it takes 6 months practice I do it. What have you got to lose?