can you help?

[Carrie]

It's 3 AM. I still have homework but I can't concentrate. I'm so tired. I'm tired of being the only one. All of you are out there but it's not the same. I think I need so badly to meet other injured people. I can't sleep, I either eat a lot or very little. I draw into myself and I'm destroying relationships. I throw myself into classes and I'm doing well because of the distraction they provide. I can talk to people about it and they listen but they'll never get it. I just feel so damned alone. If I am with friends I have fun, I laugh, it's still OK, but when I'm not with them I just sleep or hide out in my room. I have felt depression but this isn't it. I can't even explain it really. I'm worn out. I am just so damned alone. I feel like I'm fighting a brick wall, I keep taking time to think and deal with this but I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I just feel dead tired.

[njbirk]

Carrie,
Why don't you come to one of the picnics this summer? I think you are in Rochester, NY, is that right? Perhaps you can come to the Ohio picic in June? Bit of a drive for you, I know. I'll be there and would love to meet you.

You are definitely not alone.
Hoping things are better with the morning light.

Nancy

[Kathleen]

Carrie

Think about Nancy's advice. One of the most healing moments I had was meeting other obpi/adults. Somehow seeing other like us make us feel not so alone.

I hope today is a better day... we are all just an e-mail away...
We are all here for you and really do understand.
Kath

[francine]

Sorry you are feeling so down. Wish I knew of ways you can take yourself out of this but I know very personally that until you're ready to do that, it just won't happen. But if you can think of anything positive at all right now - at least spring is on the verge...the air is cleaner, crisper. Go take a look at the emerging flowers (or are you still snowed under?) Maybe get involved in some seed planting - even if it's in your window sill... seeds have magic energy inside...they have the energy of birth and wonder! (you're sittin there going yea yea yea fran...give me a break) Well maybe even spraying some water with lavender in your room - open the windows too to air it out - wash and change your sheets on your bed....put on a sexy nighty...(oh gosh am I getting Carried away?)

Carrie - I thought you and your dad were coming to the Ohio picnic right?

See you there and we'll give you a big 'ole hug!!

-francine

[Tessie258]

You hit the nail on the head when you said you're tired....If your tired it is much harder to cope....try to get some rest...I know you're probably very busy but make yourself rest....You will feel better. I know I get very down when I stay up too late and get up too early....Hugs to you. I hope you'll feel better soon!
T.

[momcares]

just remember this is something that will strengthen your inner self!!! You've been given one hell of an obstacle but it's up to you to turn it into something positive!!! Just keep on Truckin'!!!

[CW1992]

Hi Carrie, I hope you were able to get some sleep and feel better today. I know that you already got lots of great replies - but I wanted to try and help some too. I think all of us go thru times in our lives where we feel alone or that no one really understands us. There will always be people who will listen and will cheer you - but what's most important is knowing how to make yourself happy. Other people can't do that for you - you have to figure out what makes you happy yourself. Take time to do the things that you really enjoy doing. You could make a list of all of the things that you love to do and try to set time aside to do those things. I've learned over the years that no one really has a perfect life like it might seem they do. Everyone seems to be trying to deal with something - that's what life is about - ups and downs. Sometimes spending too much time thinking about what we do not like about ourselves or our lives only makes things worse - - but when you refocus and notice all of the great things in life and all of the fun things there are to do and see - - it's a whole different attitude. When I was in college I remember complaining to my boss about how much studying I had to do for exams. I was 19 at the time. I told him that I wished I was done taking exams, and so on- - and he said to me, "Never wish your life away". I looked at this 45 year old man and stopped to think that here I was complaining about what I was going through and remembered that he had told me once that he wished he would have gotten to go to college. Reminds me of the Easter saying, "the grass in somebody else's Easter basket is always greener." Anyway - sometimes thinking to much about our own problems only makes the problems bigger. Try look for the fun things in life - and laugh - ALOT! It helps:)
Christy

[lizzyb]

Hiya Carrie...

you hang in there, girl! :0) you are doing better than you realise! Things always look and feel bad in the wee small hours......I still have the pics in my 'puter you sent me ages ago.. :0)

thinking of you

Liz B XXX (from the U.K. and TBPI board usually..)

[Missy]

Hi Carrie. I'm sorry that you're feeling so alone right now.

I think that we can all relate to your feelings on some level. No, we can't imagine what it's like to be in your shoes as an injured person. But our family and friends have no idea what it's like to be in our shoes either, as a parent with an injured child.

We, as parents of an injured child, can sympathize with you, because we see the struggles that our children endure. But we cannot empathize with you because we don't know what it physically FEELS like.

Our family and freinds can sympathize for our children when they see our kids going through surgeries, therapy and when they encounter day to day challenges. But they have no idea what it FEELS like, in our hearts, as parents, to see your kids go through this.

And they never will. That's just a fact. Sucks though.

What you need to know is, no matter how alone you feel...in reality, you are not alone. You are cared for and loved on many different levels. Your family and friends see you for more than your injured arm.

Your arm at this point in your life is all encompassing. You see it as "the difference" between you and the rest of the world.

But the world doesn't see you as any different than anyone else. You are accepted for YOU. They accept your arm. They love you. They love all of your attachments. Physical and otherwise!

If this is an continues to be an ongoing obstacle in your life, gather your family and your closest freinds and have a big heart-to-heart. Cry, be angry...let it all out. But be heard.

And then let yourself feel loved...and let yourself BE loved. Let yourself feel accepted...and let yourself BE accepted.

We are here for you Carrie. You will never be alone!

Hugs to you,
Missy

[marymom]

I just met an interesting young lady in NYC with OBPI-
yall dont have much else in common I dont think besides your age and OBPI I mean, email me and Ill forward your email to her if you want...I assume you mean young people your age?
and
GET SOME SLEEP!!!
love and light sweetie
mom@bellsouth.net