United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

My son is 7 LOBPI (2nd grade). He has been going to a private school since he was in pre-school. We all know that private schools are much more strict and thank God that he has not been teased by his classmates or others who attend his school. Starting in September he will be going to a public school and I am worried, but he's excited!. We all know that kids can be cruel. He knows that he's going to be asked a lot of questions about his arm. He wants to know what should he tell them. I told him to tell the truth about what happened, he wants to make up a story that he injured it while skateboarding. Anyone out there who has gone through this? Any thoughts, suggestions, advise are much appreciated! Thanks!

My son is 8 ROBPI and has a very positive outlook on life. I am not saying that this is always good, but he doesn't let the other kids bully him at all. (HE IS THE YOUNGEST OF FOUR) But when the kids try to tease his he politely explains what happened and if they don't like that then he chooses another friend. This child has more kids than you know what to do with. My son's recovery is pretty good after a few surgeries, but if you look hard enough then you can tell, he has been asked many a time and it doesn't seem to matter to him or his friends, they are just curious. He offers to show him his scare on his neck(FROM MOD QUAD) and most of them when they see it think it is COOL !!! One of them even made his mom come in and see it. I have always taught him that he has to make the most of his injury and he does that indeed !! GAYLE

My BPI child is only 2, so I can't offer any advice specific to that. However, do not assume that private schools are more strict than public schools. We have older kids as well, and have experienced both public and private school (6 years in private and 4 years in public). There were many things which were allowed to go on in private, which were not allowed in public.

I'm not trying to start a public vs. private school debate here (there are pros and cons to each). My point is - you may just want to see how things go before assuming that bad things are going to happen in the public school that would not happen in the private school.

My daughter is also 7 and in 2nd grade. She has not had problems with kids making fun of her arm.

I went into school and brought her splints and a book and told the kids about her arm. There are two kids in her class with severe allergies, so the book (different just like me) applied to them as well. Overall, the kids just don't care.

She is also the youngest of 4, and a pretty strong personality, so I don't think the kids get on her too much. She has lots of friends and enjoys school.

Kids can be incredibly compassionate too.

good luck,
claudia

I have an older child in public school, so I can compare the two (in our area at least). My son's private school is very strict and they don't tolerate any teasing or other type of behavior relating to that. I know that he'll do just fine! I guess I was just wanting some feedback from parents or older kids/adults that have gone through this! I'm just nervous and guess I need to stop being so nervous! I think I'll get that book Claudia thanks!

Most and I say most public schools have a zero tolerance taunting and bullying policy. Look into the rules and use them because they won't come out and tell you about this rule especially ! GAYL

I am in 9th grade now but went to a private school from pre-school to 1st grade. I started public school in a different state in 2nd grade. When I was little the only difference I noticed was less rules! I have never had a problem with kids teasing me. My friends think my arm is cool, and laugh about silly things caused by my injury with me. If I have problems doing something my friends always back me up; when we have to crabwalk in crosscountry and I end up sliding on my butt across the gym, I get a whole cheering section! I do get asked about my injured arm a lot by curious people. I love to mess with them and tell them crazy things that happened to my arm (hit by a train, plane crash, this arm is fake...etc.). It's really fun to watch their eyes get big and their mouths drop open!! I always tell them what really happened after that though (I don't really want kids running around telling everyone I got hit by a train =)!) I think it's fine for him to tell his skateboard story (as long as he tells them the truth too). Saying something silly at first can make it easier to talk about and makes the injury sound like it's not a big deal.

Brittney, 14
LOBPI

Britteny,
You are my role model as I hope your Mom told you sometime back.

Britt, you are very wise. I hope that you post more often, especially when there are questions about how to help BPI Kids deal with others and questions. I doubt that you'll ever have self-esteem issues like I did growing up.

I hope to give you a big HUG at Camp this year...& your Mom too.

Carolyn J
LOBPI,age 68 & Proud of it!


Message was edited by: Carolyn J

Brittany,
You are such a wonderful young lady. You put perspective on something for me. I think alot of it has to do with how the child feels about themselves. Just like a child that doesn't like animals and is afraid, the animal will react to that. My son doesn't mind his arm at all. To him it is a "CONVERSATION PIECE" he talks about it freely and often.

Two years ago, my daughter did a science project on BPI and took my son into school for her little model. He loved it and so did the kids. The kids were totally quiet and respectful and so into it. IT was supposed to be a 15 minute presentation and ended up being the whole class period because the kids had so many questions. (My daughter was in 8th grade.) She got an A+++ because her teacher said, it was so well put together and she was so brave for doing it on a condition that "CHALLENGED" her family.
Thank you again Brittany for putting a smile on my face and making me realize, that it is all about how the child "PERCEIVES" their injury. By the way....I love the "I got hit by a train excuse" Brandon uses the " I USED to play "PRO" football !!" LOL GAYLE mom of Brandon 8 ROBPI

Brittney
You really are a great kid.
Humor first then the real story helps to ease the situation.
I use to tell people my arm was broken and they set it wrong... LOL...
By using humor you can also educate your peers.

Kath ( robpi/adult)