How did you handle having another baby after your BPI child

[admin]

we are thinking of having another baby but I am scared. Any feed back is appreciated.


Thanks

[hope16_05]

Being scared is part of the process but I am sure your child would love a play mate. I loved to spend time with my little brother when we were younger. We were best buds!

Just make sure you can find a doctor who will work with you and knows how to handle SD. Ask a million and one questions and all should go well.

Good luck!
Amy 19 years old ROBPI
sorry I cant give you a mom point of view but I thought the view of bpi person with a younger sibling might help.

[Kath]

Unlike Amy I have no younger siblings.
I am was my mother's 8th child.

But I guess you could wonder how does a person have a baby knowing they were birth injured.

I have three children and my first two are 14 months apart.
I never thought my "rare" injury could happen to my children but I was fearful.
But what if I had not had them out of fear?
I would have missed so many great things in life... especially my 5 grandchildren.

You are well informed and you must take control of your delivery.
You have to ask the doctor questions that you never thought of before,you'll strong enough to do it.

Don't let fear keep you from moving forward with your life and loosing out on the joy of another baby.

Good Luck
Kath adult/robpi

[Keri]

We just made our doc really aware of the first injury and went with a scheduled induction 10 days before my due date (to keep the baby smaller). My son still was within 1oz of my daughter's weight, but the doc obviously didn't inflict the damage as my first ob doc did.

[admin]

Thanks everyone. It is not so much of the delivery and pregnancy that scares me. It is after the baby is born. Will I have time for both my injured daughters needs and a baby's needs.

What if my daughter resents the baby because she was injured and the baby was not.

I know it might sound crazy but these are my thoughts........

[tylergsmom]

My older son is (Tyler, age 8) ROBPI and loves his (uninjured) baby brother to death! The arm isn't even a factor for my older son and of course Chase, age 4, has no idea that his big brother is any different than he is. As far as having time for both....your going to run into that problem regardless because you will be a busy mom of two kids. I dragged Chase everywhere with us when Ty was still going thru therapy. He even came with us to TCH when Ty had his mod quad surgery. He wasn't left out of anything. Good luck with your decision!

~Laura

[hope16_05]

More kids will always be trickier than just one no matter who you are.

If anything at all the resent could go the other way. I would not think it to be a problem.

I have 2 sibs, one older, and one younger. I never resented the fact that they are both uninjured. I love the fact that they dont have this to go through, I would never want it any other way. Sure there will be times of jelousy that one child may have an easier time at something than the other but then we (the injured) have strengths that our uninjured siblings dont. I love softball and am very good at it, my sibs are not so fortunate to do good in softball or baseball.

We are individuals and as long as you love your children they will do awesome!
Go for it and have a wonderful experience and a family to cherish!

Amy 19 ROBPI from MN

[admin]

It is very scary to have another...as so many others have pointed out.

One other thought that helped me think positively about having another child was my desire for my child to have a sibling that can be there for my child when she is an adult...someone who loves her, accepts her unconditionally, supports her through the tough times, stands up for her rights with her, knows what she's been through, etc...

I know I won't be around forever, and hopefully my children will be around longer than me. It would be nice to have sibling support after I'm gone. (okay, sounds kind of morbid - sorry... but hopefully you get the point).

FYI - my kids are 2 years apart and are fabulous companions with one another.

[admin]

i am so terrified of having another baby. i did not go through pregnancy again. i regret it my heart was broken in every way. i was against it until i had my child, we could have both died! i am planning to possible adopt or foster a child. i am wondering about any moms who hve any advise about getting over the complete horror felling when visiting a doctor. even peditriction/specialists. i am wondering if they ever made a mistake. i may never know about. sorry to bable a need to vent. i have met some really awesome friends here and i want to thank EVERYONE who i have met and moms and dads too. i wish i had known about this site sooner.
love, a mom who is doing her best!

[admin]

The way I look at it is yes it is scary, but life goes on. I believed the next child shouldn't be denied life just because mom was freaked out about the one before. I knew there was a way to make it more safe the next time. We had another child after the bpi child, c-sec, taken early, no problems. The arm is not an issue among the kids. They love each other as all siblings do.
The birth of that child truly was very, very, very healing for me and good for the whole family. We are so happy we trusted God and went for it. I hope for healing for you also. It is not easy to get from terrified to happybut it is possible. Good luck.