United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

with the realization that you can't do the things you used to? Up till now I've always been able to figure some way to do the things that my arm limited me from. But now with the pain starting to come into play I'm realizing that I just can't do things. I mean just triming one holly bush nearly killed me and I'm trying to make myself deal with the issue that I just can't do that stuff anymore. How do you deal with it.

Dear Christina,
The only HEALTHY thing you can do is surrender to your "body talk" and stop doing the tasks that are bringing the most pain. Realizing that you must take care of your children and all things related to mothering,when you start to prioritize and scale down all other tasks that can be optional or delegated to someone else(a high school Mother's helper, comes to mind) it will make a big difference for you.
My dear, if you don't stop overusing your painful side, you WILL pay a higher price later.Feel free to email me for more sharing on this topic. I welcome any questions.
Hugs,
Carolyn J

Carolyn has given you a great piece of advice.

I thought it was OK to work through the pain and I was wrong.
I don't deal well with not doing the things I want to do and can't do anymore.
I find it very frustrating.........
I did most everything I wanted to regardless of pain and now I'm paying a high price for being such a thick head...
I advise you to listen to Carolyn and pick and choose what is really important.
Then find a way to take a break when ever you can. That is what most normal people do.
I think bpi people think we should be like superman and keep going no matter what and that is foolish.
Of course hindsight is always 20/20.
Allow your self to slack off on the unimportant physical chores.
When the children are older you will be able to do them again.
When the children require so much lifting we should not push ourselves in other ways.
It is as if we are always trying to prove something to ourselves and we push beyond normal limits.
Kath (adult/obpi)

Kath,
I wish I were as good as you are with words. You describe so well my experience too. Christine, we all try to deny our pain; please stop now.
Hugs all around,
Carolyn J
Adult LOBPI,age 67 & proud of it!

Hi!
I understand where you are coming from. I too have struggled with this injury. I think what was the hardest for me was the emotional pain of my injury. I was teased relentlessy my whole life. I had suicidal bouts from grade seven on. From the age of 16 I tried to find someone to operate on my arm. Time after time I was told there was nothing they could do. I saw Dr. Nath in 1999 and was told that I had the worst injury he had seen for my age.
I finally had hope when I saw Dr. Harrop and he said he could help my hand. But I was still very deeply upset about my arm. I think the only thing that has saved me is turning my problems over to God.
I still get upset over stupid things that I discover I can't do, and I have to realize that I need help with it.
You can't do this alone. The boards here are great, but you need someone in your life you can fall back on.
Erica

Everyone has given you great words of advice. It is true that we have each other on these message boards. I still can't even get through to my family how wonderful camp was. If you can make it to the next camp you really should try. It did wonders for my heart and soul. It was so great to meet others who experience the same problems. I always tell everyone just try to stay positive. It can be difficult at times, but the more positive you are your state of mental health is far better off. Feel free to e mail me personally too if you would like. *HUGS* Hang in there.