United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

How soon after injury did you do it? I haven't seen my delivering Dr since. I had my gallbladder out last week & they wanted to put me in a room on the maternity floor. I FREAKED OUT!!!! I refused to go without my husband & didn't want anyone even coming in my room unless he was there. We still haven't given up on litigation, but, something inside me just wants to hash things out with him & get some closure. I have thought about getting some counseling 1st to prepare myself. I just don't know what to do...

If you are considering litigation I would suggest you dont do that. They will use anything and everything against you if you choose to have a heated discussion with him. Believe me everything comes out in depositions. They asked ? from 15-20 years back on me and my wife.

kd's dad... only 15-20 years??? they practically asked me how often I pee...

If you even think you will pursue litigation DO NOT initiate a conversation with your delivering doctor. If he/she comes to talk to you, beg off.. "I'm tired, I need to go to the bathroom, gotta call my mother..." Anything NOT to talk with him/her.

As for counselling... GET IT!!! Whether you talk to your delivering doc or not. Get counselling. At ubpn camp, when the mom's had a roundtable discussion. One of the things we talked about was how few of us got counselling and how many of us wish we had.

Oh, and I will say it again about closure. Closure comes from WITHIN. A lawsuit cannot bring about closure, discussion with a doc can't bring about closure... only you are in charge of closure on this issue. Only you can decide when you are healed. Counselling can help you get to that place. But closure comes from you. If you give the power of closure to another (the jurists in a lawsuit, the delivering doc) then you really don't have closure. What if you lose the lawsuit? Is it closure?? What if the doc doesn't apologize? Is it closure???

YOU need to take back the power and find that closure in yourself. And it takes time.

Good luck,
claudia