United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Hi, wanted to give you all an update on Ian and his baseball team...they had their first game this weekend, and all went well. Ian hit two doubles and had lots of fun. His right arm is sooooo strong that he can really whop the ball out of there. And he loves to play.

Once, after he fielded a ball, a mom from the other team who happened to be standing by me laughed (not in a mean way) at Ian, saying "Oh how cute, he got so excited he threw his glove down." I was amazed at how calm I was about this sort of comment, which normally I hate, but I just said, "Oh, Ian's arm is partially paralyzed. He fields and throws with his right arm." At that moment I was so proud of my son. He is just so amazing.

It bothers me that everyone watching who doesn't know Ian will think he is "cute" or "so excited that he throws his glove down" but you know what, I have no control over what other people think. This is such a hard lesson for me, but I think I have come a long way with this acceptance...several years ago when Ian first started playing t-ball I had a very difficult time realizing that I couldn't "protect" Ian from the comments and impressions of others on the sidelines. It just can't be done. I went through a real process back then of realizing that as Ian grows up and changes from a baby to a boy, as his mom I have to step back and let him be himself, fight his own battles, etc. Yikes, it is sooo hard, but maybe getting a little bit easier as he grows.

Okay, well, maybe here in Arizona we are a little bit obsessed with baseball now that the Diamondbacks are the champions, but I just wanted to let you all know how it is going.

For those of you with younger kids I really strongly recommend getting the kids involved in various sports as early as possible so that they can get comfortable with the rules, etc. in addition to any adaptations that they may need to make. This will really help them feel confident and one step ahead.

That's my two cents for today!

Bridget

Your advice about getting our kids started early in sports' programs is excellent. Not only will they be familiar with the mechanics of the game, but they'll know other kids who will be playing sports so they'll make friends outside of school. If your bpi child doesn't have an older sibling to tag along with to games to see what's going on, you might take him/her to a cousin's game or neighbor child's game so they can see what the sport is all about before they're old enough to get on a team. Playing the sport in the backyard or at the playground also helps. By the time they get on a team, they'll have worked out how to adapt to the sport.

Bridget, I think your advice not only applies to children with special needs, but to all children as well. When I was a young child, my parents had my brother in sports, but not me. I went along to his games, but never had my own. (Of course, I do have nice memories of dance school though.) Then, as I got a little older and was interested in doing a couple of sports, I didn't have enough confidence to try out for any teams b/c I felt that all the other children had more experience. Eventually, in college I was approached by a field hockey player trying to recruit some more players. I loved floor hockey in high school gym so I figured I'd give it a try. I tried it for a couple of years and had a lot of fun, but was never good at it. I think a lot of that had to do with me still holding back due to lack of confidence. At that point, everyone on the team had some high school experience with field hockey and with other sports as well. Oh well, just wanted to share my experience and my thoughts about your recommendation. So I agree, if you think your child might be interested in doing sports someday, it's good to introduce them at least to some extent when they're young. -Tina )

Hi Louise,

Yes, it is beautiful here right now, temps are running around 80-85 degrees and sunny with a little breeze, very nice.

Maybe it is because he is a boy, and 8 years old, but Ian absolutely hates to be called "cute." And I would much rather people understand that his behavior is not "cute" because he is "messing up" (as they perceive it), but necessary behavior due to the nature of his abilities. Once people understand what they are really observing (a kid playing ball to the best of his abilities despite a physical challenge) their perception changes from thinking he is "cute" to admiring him for his ability. That is important to me, and it is important to Ian.

I do think my son is wonderful, and I am very thankful that he is a natural athlete, with an interest in sports. I am totally supportive of him, and hope that my post didn't seem otherwise.

Bridget

Bridget you are so right in that Ian should be admired for his capabilities and perseverance. But you can't place an ad or tell all the parents and spectators before each game of his accomplishment so you will need to do just what you did-educate the ones that you or Ian here and forget the rest. They aren't really the important ones and it's Ian's self respect and admiration that will take him through life as a success. So just enjoy his games, enjoy him and keep up the good relationship with him and if you happen to hear a remark then educate them--some will get it and some will not, but he will at least know that you are there for him. Someday soon he won't want you to point anything out to anyone and you will shed tears of pride (and a lot of I miss my little boy) that Ian has grown into such a wonderful young man.

And he has plenty of surrogate spectators right here on the board that say "Yeah Ian, way to go, you are awesome!" in case he needs a boost. But he won't--he has you.

Soooooo..Yeah Ian!!! You have worked so hard and it is paying off. Excellent job!

Bridget, Funny you should mention this! I was just going through a bunch of my bpi info looking for an article for Joeys physical therapist and I found something you had written several years ago when Ian was just starting out... It crossed my mind to type it up and quote you here because it was so insightful! It was about when your mom was with you at the game and you asked her if you should tell some other parent about Ians injury and your mom asked if you were going to make an announcement to all the parents... I know I am not doing it justice but it sure was good! Joey just loves sports...his older brother with two fully functioning arms could take them or leave them. Joey will be doing coach pitch this year. He uses the same method as Ian...throwing the glove down ) We've had several helper dads tell him to keep his glove on ) It's no problem...how would they know! ) What I find interesting is the determination of children. Joey loves sports and I know he will figure out a way to play no matter what because its what he loves. With one arm or two when someone is learning to do something for the first time he or she has to learn how...so no need to focus on the arm...the focus for us has been on learning HOW! Thanks for the encouragement! God's blessings to you! ~~Joann )

Bridget - I know how difficult it can be. We have all been there. Comments, questions it's frustrating. I think it is wonderful that Ian is playing ball and enjoying it. Justin has opening day on 4/12. We are looking forward to an interesting season post surgery. By the way did Ian ever get Justin's letter?