United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

I need advice!!! I work at our county Museum doing programs and events for kids. One of the things I do is host B-Day parties. On Wednesday I was unloading my car when a woman came up to me and started talking to me about having her daughters party here. She looked very familiar and then I realized it was my doctors (the one who injured my daughter) wife!! She wants to have not only 1 but 2 of her daughters parties here this month!! I didn't know what to say I was shaking and on the verge of tears. I'm sure she doesn't know the situation with my daughter because I don't even think my doctor knows (or cares) of the severity of it. Anyway she was telling me how many kids would be coming and she said her and her husband would both be there. After she left I just started crying, I don't think I can face him!! We also have a legal case pending. I don't want to tell his wife no because its not her or her daughters fault. I might be able to line up some volunteers to help me do the party, in case I fall apart. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?????????

Tara (mom to Ava ROBPI)

You might take the opportunity to show them what your daughter/your family are living with.
Talk to your lawyer before you do anything. You don't want to do or say anything to compromise your case, but I understand your situation and feelings.

Good luck and let us know how it plays out.

Peggy

Oh - I am so sorry that you are faced with this - I would have been crying and shaking too!!! Soemthing that I realized in Baltimore at the conference was that certain doctors just do not know what they have done. They just don't understand what the families go thru when you get your baby home - what happens from there..... how much they have impacted your life and especially your new baby's life.

You can be strong, get lots of volunteers to help in case it get's too hard for you to look at him, but maybe also go talk to him and show him your child and explain that she still does not have the movement back, that she is still injured. (I guess at the same time you don't want to start something at these little girls' b-day parties - like you said - it is not their fault and you don't want to hurt them or the wife - so just state facts so that he knows. If you can't face him I'd just get volunteers. At the same time - this is what you do - you host parties, and you should not give him the power to stop you from doing what you do. (I think that I am talking in circles again - sorry)

I thought Peggy's advice was great. And again I am sorry that you are put in this situation - you sound so caring about the wife and girls, and I wish you strength!
Christy

Tara,

Can you take the day off? I think you're right about it not being the OB's daughter's fault. If you're not ready to face him then don't. I know I would not be able to see the doc that delivered my daughter yet.

Just and opinion, but I would remove myself from the situation if I were you. With a case pending, you don't want to say or do anything that would jepordize your case, or your piece of mind.

Good Luck!
Lauren

May be you can explain to your boss that you have an emotional involvement with the client that would keep you from being a good hostess. Tell your boss about your Daughter. See if you can find another way to work, but not be in the vacinity of her party. I dont recomend it. I know I have wondered for years what I would do if I seen my Ob. Ouch! Stay strong, and dont stress too much. It only hurts you more. Good Luck, and if you can....take a personal day, lol.

Tara,

I'm amazed at your sensitivity toward the OBs wife and daughter. You are right, it isn't their fault...

BUT, it also isn't something that you should have to put yourself through. If you can't find volunteers to do it so that you can stay "emotionally safe" or not involved at all, I would find a way to get out of it (whether you can just tell your boss you have "personal reasons" or you need to go as far as explaining you are involved in legal proceedings against them). You have a right and a duty to protect yourself and your emotional well-being. You need to take care of yourself, too

Kate

Tara,
PLEASE put yourself and your needs FIRST at the top of the list in this situation. You do NOT need this stress. Take it from this "senior"OBPI, stress does accumulate when you keep putting other people's needs 1st before your own...especially when you don't have to.I'm sure there is someone else that can step in for you on this situation. (This is just my 2 cents worth of "been there,done that".....
Hugs all around,
Carolyn J