United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Well......I thought I was ready for Ashley's upcoming surgery, but apparently I am not. I had a chat with her teacher today and it made everything seem so soon! I started to wonder if Ashley will be in allot of pain, discomfort, bla bla bla. Who knows? I spoke with a lady who lives in Langley and her daughter had the same surgery, she told me that the first month after is very painful and well, I haven't been feeling too good ever since. I fear that Ashley will blame me, she already likes to do that, for her pain and that will brake my heart. Oh well, somehow we will get through this. I am sure to drive my poor Husband crazy!! Does anyone have any helpful hints for me?

Lenni

Lenni - I think that those pre surgery days are just the worst. You doubt yourself, second guess yourself, have fears that just get exponentially greater as each day progresses....at least that's my take on it.

The best thing you can do with your daughter is to be honest - not honest enough to induce fear - but honest enough that she knows that there may be some discomfort and that she will need some medication to help her and she will be provided with it if she needs it.

There is pain - some kids feel it more than others - probably part of that is due to how much sensation they actually have (my newest hypothesis of why some kids have pain and some don't).

Have you seen my page on what to expect on the day of surgery? You need to look at the pictures in the recovery room - because you need to be strong for her then.

Remind her you will be there for her right by her side - the only time you won't will be when she is in the O.R. Have her bring a special friend with her to the O.R. to keep her company there.

and keep on talking to us until you go.... the best thing is knowing that you have a group of people here that know exactly what you are feeling!

big hugs,
francine

Tahnk you for your words of wisdom Francine. It makes me feel a little better to know, I am not the only one to experience the pre-surgery jitters! Ashley and I will talk some more tonight!

Lenni

The only one?? NOT! Far from it! I always go through the pre-surgey jitters too. What has always worked for us with Nicole is just being very open and honest from the beginning. I've told Nicole that the will be asleep during the surgery, but that when she wakes up that she'll be in pain and uncomfortable, but that they have really good medicine in the hospital that we will give her and that if she's ever in pain that she just has to let me know so we can get her more medicine. I've also made it a point to never tell her that the surgery is going to "fix" her arm. I just tell her that it's going to help make her arm stronger. As we get closer to the splint removal time, I tell Nicole that we will take it off in the pool and that her arm might be a little sore at first and again that we'll give her medicine if it hurts. I tell her that her arm won't be as strong as it was for a little while, but that with the therapy, her arm will get stronger again. I'm sure Ashley is old enough for you to explain the whole process upfront of the arm being weaker at first and then stronger and needing post-op rehab, etc., but Nicole is only 2 y.o., so I have to keep things pretty simple and to the short-term future. I've just tried to find a way to do it all w/o making her afraid, but at the same time keeping it honest. I think by doing that, it might help you to avoid getting some of the "blame" (hopefully anyway). Hope this helps. -Tina