United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Wanted to share this with you (might be helpful for other removing splints and going back to school, etc)...

Maia is having a very hard time going back to school. She thinks that her friends hate her because her arm is not working. She told me this today at the classroom doorway.

Another mom talked to me about this...

She said that maybe in the splint Maia felt special because she got all that attention - do you remember when you were a kid and another child had a cast and how much attention they got and how everyone else wanted a cast too?

She said that maybe it's like a double whammy - not only is she not special anymore, but on top of that, her arm's not working either. So she's left with double nothing.

interesting...

I'm going to have a long talk with Maia tonight about what being special means...special on the inside..etc.

Francine, this makes very logical sense to me. It's almost like a let down times two. This will definetley be something to prepare Ashley for. Good luck talking to Maia, hopefully she will feel a little better about school and her arm when your done.

Lenni

Francine: Maybe the other parent is on to something.

perhaps you could try a little "homework" session for Maia. Have her sit down with you and make a list of "what I like best about _____(her classmates)" (or what makes ____ special to me) and include herself. I am betting she comes up with more important stuff than body parts and you could use this as a tool to show her that her friends feel the same way and don't look at her arm and not like her and that it is indeed what is inside that makes us like people and them like us.

just a thought. I hope she "gets it" and knows that she is special NOT because of her arm, whether it works or not, but because of who and what she is. let us know, we are all following right behind you in this situation.

Hi' Francine. Sorry to hear Maia having a rough time going back to school. That other parent may be on to something but you may want to feel Maia out to see if another kid said somthing to her about her arm or if these feelings are coming from inside herself. As a general rule I find I have to combat things that are overheard and misunderstood or done just out of meanness. When Michaela started school this year, she attached herself to a boy in the class she really liked. After 2 weeks of school she told me she was ready to start riding the bus, so we let her. That little boy also rode the same bus. He was so nice to her at school, but on the bus he would say mean things to her and the bus driver heard them and separated them.Michaela was so upset she would run back in the house in the morning and cry on the school bus and started wetting her pants at school. The teacher couldn't helped me but the bus driver told me what was going on. So we soothed her, corrected the misconceptions he gave her, and now I drive her the 4 miles to school. Wasn't worth her self esteem to be bruised anymore. When she's a little older I may make her weather a storm like this, but she's gone through too much lately to make her go through it now. Anyway, in that little talk you may want to tell her there is nothing wrong with different, EVERYBODY is different. Her arm may not work perfectly, but Joes eyebrows or jawbone is crooked, Jane has one ear lower than the other and a birthmark on her leg. Mike was born with 2 thumbs. Susie has one leg shorter and smaller than the other, etc., you get the drift. This is just a shell we live in,like a turtle, but it's the Maia on the inside that counts and in heaven, as I tell Michaela, I won't have diabetes, low thyroid and be fat, and she'll have a perfect arm and Mamaw won't be deaf( since age 3 from meningitis). What a day that will be!!!! Ooops, I think I've done gone from talking to praising! Hope I helped LeeAnne

LeeAnne - I'm reading this AFTER I put maia to bed and after our conversationS (many) about how each person is special in their own way, not anyone person more special than another. And it's what's inside your heart that counts. I told her that when people see her they see her glowing face and her pretty smile. And when she hugs them, they feel her love from the inside coming out to greet them. And then I reminded her that she may have an arm boo boo but I have a knee booboo and adena has a lung boo boo and daddy has a lip boo boo and then I showed her my birthmark and showed her how my one toe goes in a wierd position and crackles...lol (I think this is TMI now huh?) So anyway - when we said our prayers tonight they were totally different. We are learning a LOT from our children aren't we?

AMEN!