United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Hi all! My name is Pam and I have a 13 year old daughter with a left BP injury from birth. We have been through many difficulties over the years, but also good times as well. My husband and I are the ones who started this website and are founding board members of UBPN. I wanted to share some things with you about my little girl. (okay - now a teen!)

Ashley has had two surgeries, and many years of therapy, electical stimulation, water therapy... you name it!! In all honesty, I don't think any of those things have helped her a great deal. I was always looking for something to help or 'make her better'. It took me a LONG time to accept it and realize that she has a permanant injury - and that I needed to learn how to accept it and not feel sorry or try to find a miracle cure. There was even a time in our lives when that is all we concentrated on - her injury. I am not saying that those medical things are bad or wrong - as they are necessary. It's just I was consumed by them.

She went through not being able to crawl, not being able to use both hands to pick up toys, trouble getting dressed...I mean anything that required two hands - she had trouble with!

But enough about me and how *I* feel...now there's Ashley. She is such a wonderful and determined girl - so easy going. She doesn't let anything stop her - hasn't ever. She always figures out a way to do things - even if it's a little different.

We always worried about if kids would pick on her. Well - hasn't happened yet! She has been asked about why her arm looks like that, or why she runs that way - but she just answers them matter of factly and tells them about her injury.

She is now in Junior High and they have Athletics where you try-out for sports. You'd think that she'd want to be in P.E., and take it easy - but nope! This year she tried out for:

volleyball... (volleyball - I mean she can't even lift her left arm up! but she was determined) didn't make it, but she didn't stop there...

soccer... didn't make it - did she give up? no...

drill team... (you know the dance team that uses both arms to cheer and do dance moves) - she tried SO hard, and she MADE IT. There were 36 girls who tried out and only 22 made it. I am so glad for her that her hard work paid off. Just the fact that she tried makes me proud!

She has been horseback riding for a couple of years now. She had to adapt a bit, but she has gotten into her groove and is doing awesome! She's ridden in many horse shows and has lots of ribbons to show for it.

Everytime she wanted to try out for something physical, I would always think silently "Should I let her go through this?", but always encouraged her to do what she wanted. I am so proud of her drive.

She hasn't just been concentrating on physical activities either - she was just inducted into the National Junior Honor Society.

So if you have a little one and are wondering, "What is going to happen" - well let me tell you that you don't have control over things - and will have to take things as they come, but here is an example that there are good things to look forward to!

Here is a link to her webpage:
http://www.ashley.theideabox.com/

Thank you thank you thank you!

Your story is just what I needed today!

Wow! I'm so glad you posted your encouraging letter. Thank you! I have a 2 year old daughter with ROBPI and it's hard for me to picture her being able to do normal things as a preteen or teenager but you've given me hope. My daughter is a very stubborn child now which I'm thinking will help in the long run at being a very determined child.

Pam!!! Ashley has grown up so much! The last time I saw her she was 8 I think. I remember meeting your family at the BPI picnic years ago. I am so happy to hear how great she is doing!:) Brittney and Ashley are so close in age. Ashley sure has grown to be such a pretty girl and thank you for the update. How about you post more often!!!
Christy

Hi Pam,

It sure has been a while! I remember when I first discovered this website - what a true blessing it was when Alyssa was born 7.5 years ago!

I am so glad you posted about your daughter and her triumphs! It really gives us parents with younger children so much hope for their future. We sometimes get so obsessed in our children's therapy etc.. that we forget to step back and just look at how beautiful they are - just like they are!

Hope to see you around more often! I too am trying to visit here much more again myself.

Tell Ashley we are all so proud of her!

Sincerely,

Jody Gallette - mom to Alyssa (LOBPI)

Pam- Thank you so much for writing. My daughter, Ginny, will be six tomorrow (4/21). It is so encouraging to read your post. I have often thought about the furture and what it holds for Ginny. And, I, too, have been consumed with "fixing" her, the guilt, the sorrow of loss, you name it!! She has 85% recovery, but we still want to improve her function. She will pull away and say she is "tired" when she plays with cousins and games are difficult for her. We keep trying to encourage her and work with her. She has become quite the intellectual!!

Tell Ashley we are all proud of her, too. Thanks for sharing.

Emily

Pam, wow, It's been a long time and I'm glad to hear from you! It's great that Ashley is a happy and well rounded girl and determined (I don't know if that is a BPI trait, but beginning to think it is).
It just goes to show what a great family and support system she has!

There are many trying days, situations and many times when I, too, think..."should I let her do this", but I don't want to say "you can't".
Thanks for the story and the link!

Peggy

BTW--Ashley is stunning -- beautiful!

Pam,
It is so good to hear from you.
Thanks for sharing with us about Ashley, I can't believe how much she has grown up. Is it possible that so much time has gone by?
Nancy