UPSET WITH SISTER-INLAW

[admin]

well. I have a son named Jacob Michael and I knew my husband's sister would be naming her sone Caleb, which is cute. BUt when I asked what his middle name was, she hesitated. It was nearly 2 weeks when I asked again. SHe names him CAleb MIchael. Now I wouldnt mind that if their first names did not basically rhyme, its because I asked her to choose any name just not Michael and I was joking. Sure enough she chose it. Now I know how she would feel if she had a daughter and I know the name they will pick first and middle, and if I chose a first name similiar with the same middle name I know this would upset her. anyone know someone who stole their babies names after yours came first? Had to vent. MY mom said she was just jealous and envies what I have and she lacks. I have 2 cute blond hair blue eyed boys and she has blue eyes and her kid came out with brown.

[admin]

Hey,

What's wrong with brown eyes?? Both my kids are blond haired, brown eyed beauties!!

That's weird that she chose the name to be so similar, but I guess try to be flattered, she obviously loved the name you chose and found something very close to it. What does you husband and her husband think??

Either way, I still think Jacob Michael sounds better

[admin]

GROW UP!!! How often are middle names used. There must be other issues between you and your sis-in-law. I hope I've said it all and no one else responds to this post!

[admin]

Well I understand your frustration, but remember that middle names rarely get used.
I do have a similar story. My neighbor who is also a friend, is pregnant with her second child. Her sister was also pregnant, but she was further along than my neighbor. My neighbors sister asked what she would name her baby if it was a girl and she said Emma. So a few weeks later, almost at my friends sisters due date, she says if I have a girl I am naming her Emma. My friend said, no, I am and I told you that. The sister said well you don't even know if you are having a girl or boy yet. And my friend said it didn't matter b/c by the time she found out her sister would already have the baby. Well, end of the story is that she gave birth to a baby girl, Emma and my neighbor just found out she was having a boy. At least its not a girl, but its the whole point of the story. I can't imagine my own sister doing that to me. I said to my friend, just tell Emma that you named her!

[admin]

Not over a childs name. But my sister-inlaw was getting a new pet at the same time as us. She asked what we were going to name the pet. We told her our name and she then turned around and used our name for her new pet. We were then left to find a new one I now its not the same as a childs name. But it still mad me mad. I would never do that.

[admin]

Is Michael maybe a family name or have some special meaning for her side of the family. My husband is the youngest of seven and there is seven years between him and the next youngest, so there is a lot of age difference between him and his older syblings. We are having our children and his brothers and sisters are having grandchildren! Anyway, he has a sister who had a son and named him Russell. Several years later his brother had a son and they named his Russell, as well but they have different middle names. Because of the age differce I obviously was not part of the family when this was going on and my husband has never said if there was a problem when this happened although, I doubt he would have noticed being a young boy. I don't know if Russel had any special meaning for his sister other than she liked it, but I know that our sister in-laws, father was named Russel,so I assume that is why they named him Russell. I've never thought to ask anyone about all this, because if any problems arose from this it has long since been dealt with. Just thought that maybe there could be a special meaning for her family that you may not be aware of. And at least it's not the same first name!

[admin]

I don't think you should be so upset by this. They are obviously different names. Are either of you calling your children by the middle name or using both first and second names? Why would she be jealous because of eye colors? Don't you think that's a little shallow? JMO

[Kath]

I come from a very large family and extended family.
I was number 30 out of 33 grandchildren... I can't tell you how many Eileen's, Daniels and Jimmy's we had. On my husband side, Ralph, Nicky, John... it was never a big deal most had different last names.
My daughter and daughter in law were expecting at about the same time... both loved the name Katie and Megan... and both wanted Elizabeth for the middle name. Neither realized it was my grandmother's name. They made a pact that the first one to have a girl could use the name they wanted. My daughter in law gave birth three months premature to a girl... she thought she loved the name Katie ( both of their first choices) but during deliver they decided on Megan because they felt she would need to be strong like the Megans' they knew and when the looked at her they felt she was a Megan. That resolved so nicely and the girls love having the same middle name.
I hope you can resolve this with out to many issues because it is important for cousins to be friends. I have ten nieces and newphews they are much older than my children. When it came time for me to pick a name for my second daughter I was told to use the name you love... so I did and I have a daughter Diane and a niece Diane... It was never a big deal in my family in fact my niece liked it... she was a teenager at the time.
Kath

[Karen Hillyer]

Hey Kath- that's Irish families for you!!
My mother named my sister Anne after her Mother and also her own sister Ann-Eve called HER daughter Anne after her Mother and there are three Richards (oops 4 if you count my son Gavin Richard!)and my uncle Christy called his son Christopher and of course Christopher called his son ....
Christopher
now my neice Natasha-Anne, has called her baby
Ailish Mary( after my Mum) and Anne after all the other Anne's in the family!
It seems that "in the olden days" it was quite common to have family names that were in common usage - but these days it isn't so popular, as my neices have all disagreed about who could have which name - Natasha is the lucky one- she has had the 1st girl after 6 boys in the family- so she got to choose just what she wanted!!
Karen

[claudia]

In the Sephardic Jewish faith (that is the spanish/mediterrenean part) it is commong to name the children in a particular order. You name after the father's father, then the mother's father...etc. So you will find many children with the same name in the family. My cousin married a Sephardic Jew and he is one a gazzilion Edwards. So they are Ed, Eddie, Edward, E... it goes on and on... (my cousin decided to just name her daughters what she wanted to!!!).

As I am Ashkenasic, we never name after the living. We will occasionally come across the same middle name. My sisters, brother and I all tried to stay away from each other's names. My oldest is Nicolette, and I have a niece who is 13 years older than she and her name is Nicole. We live 1500 miles from them and there is such a huge age difference that no one even notices.

Naming your child is such a personal thing, and it is hard when someone encroaches on your decision, but let it go--the kids will never notice.

good luck,
claudia