United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

On Monday, my daughter told her teacher that she had an earache and wanted to go to the nurse. Her teacher (kindergarten) told her no, no, you're fine and didn't let her go to the nurse. Yesterday, I brought her to the Pediatrician and she has an ear infection. I'm very upset at the teacher for not believing her or at least giving her the benefit of the doubt. BTW, she was also congested / coughing. We're already in "discussions" with the school because we're in disagreement over services right now (which they want to completely drop - PT/OT/SPED). I don't want to make an already tense situation worse. However, I don't think I should let this go either without a phone call or a note. How would you respond? Which is better a phone call or a note? Or should I let it go (which would not be in my best judgment)? Just looking for advice. Thanks.

Okay, so I would personally not 'let it go', that would be irresponsible as a parent. We as parent's have to be our kids advocates especially when other's who should be aren't. The teacher was out of line and that needs to be addressed whether or not you have other issues with the school. I know what you mean by not wanting to 'rock the boat' but you have to watch out for your child, that is your number one priority. Go with your gut!
Just remember, they made the mistake, not you or your daughter!

Just my 2 cents!

Your post angered me to the hilt. DO NOT sit on this! We had a bad teacher last year and when something BIG happened to my daughter they brushed it off, sent her back to class and told me she was fine. Well fine she wasn't and we went to the hospital directly from school and it was NOT fine at all. She spent many days at hospitals and out of school for two weeks. Go directly to the principal and talk to him or her about this and tell him that this is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated. I'm sorry I might sound very angry about this but if they don't listen to her for an ear ache how will they listen to her for something bigger? It's just not right. They need to respect the children. Not all children are telling a "story".

Please do not let this go. If you let it go, then they will think you don't care either and they won't hesitate to do it again.

Sorry Anon. So let me understand this better. Your daughter didn't complain at all, all weekend long, no coughing or congestion or ear pain. It just suddenly appeared out of no where at school on Monday? If you feel you must do something, put it in writting asking for the teacher to please let your child go to the nurse when she is not feeling well or keep her home if you suspect she might not be feeling well.

Patty

From a teacher's perspective: I hav eelementary age kids that come up with all kinds of complaints, some valid some not. With something like an earache I will ask them to try to tuff it out. Obviously the parent thought the child was healthy enough that morning to come to school, a school nurse can not give anything for an earache, and some kids ( I am not implying your daughter because I do not know her or have her in class) will run to the nurses office every 3 min. to get their temp. taken. If your kiddo has not been feeling right and you want to be called, give the teacher a heads up. Or maybe drop the teacher a note saying that your child usually does not complain of ear aches, stomach aches etc. and you would appreciate it if she does complain if you could be notified so you cna make arrangments to get her to the doctor. I know I don't like being the bad guy, I just try to use my best judgement when it comes to things like this. Each child is different and sometimes it is hard to tell when intervention is needed.

In addition to my earlier post....
When I said I personally would not just 'let it go', I meant I would most definately speak with the teacher about the incident but do it in a non-confrontational manner.

Just wanted to clarify, in case it came across harsh!

"Obviously the parent thought the child was healthy enough that morning to come to school." What does that mean? (especially for a kindergartner.) You can get an earache at any moment. Definitely talk to your daughter's teacher. The teacher does not get to withhold medical attention/treatment for any child. The teacher is not a doctor. This would be another issue that I would add to your list to discuss with your other issues. Also, can you email your daughter's teacher? I email my child's teacher whenever I need to discuss anything.

"Sorry Anon. So let me understand this better. Your daughter didn't complain at all, all weekend long, no coughing or congestion or ear pain. It just suddenly appeared out of no where at school on Monday?"

My daughter was coughing and congested for a few days, but wasn't complaining. It's not unusual for her to get a cough or to be congested. I just gave her some Pedia Care before bed for comfort. However, she's only ever had an ear infection one time before this and it was when we had flown to TX for surgery. It is my understanding that if an ear infection develops, it is often after there has been coughing or congestion. I don't take her to the dr. every time she is congested nor do I keep her home every time she coughs, but I'm just saying if the cough and congestion are also accompanined by an earache, then asking to go to the nurse seems reasonable to me. I don't know how you intended to come across, but it sounds like you're implying that I'm an irresponsible parent for sending her to school in the first place. I hope I'm reading your post wrong though.

I had a child who did not get fever with earaches and they were so bad by the time she complained. I believe this can appear to happen all of a sudden. Some children just do not complain until it is so bad they can no longer stand it.
I would ask the teacher to notify me when this happens again. And then I can make the decision to remove her from school or leave her. It is always better to handel these matters in a diplomatic manner because it makes for a better partnership between schools and parents.

I also had a child who asked to go to the nurse everyday and we could not figure out what was wrong. She had a stomach ache and pain. I found out she could not stand the smell or mess in the bathroom, in her class room. It was so dirty she just could not go and that was why she had stomach ache. The school nurse offered to allow her to use the bathroom in her office at lunch time. She was in first grade. The stomach aches went away and she was fine. We were lucky she used the nurses bathroom all the way through 6th Grade. In high school she also used the nurses office because she hated the smell in public restrooms... thanks to these two caring school nurses she was inspired to become a Nurse... funny how things turn out. She's a cardiac nurse not a school nurse... but ya never know. She has three kids... LOL..
Kath

I have a daughter in Kindergarten also. If this happened to us and I was in the same situation as you are this is what I would do. I would NOT let it go. I can asure you that I would be having a "talk" with her teacher the very next day. The way our school is, we drop them off in the gym so the teachers are there when I go in the morning. I would walk up to her and ask if we can talk aside of everyone for a for a minute or two. If not, let's have a meeting.
I would not write a note. I would not call unless you are going to directly call the principal of the school, but this can lead to more trouble b/c sometimes words get mixed up or restated in different ways. Go to her asap. Talk to her. And just let her know nicely that next time you want her to let your child go see the nurse if she asks to. And let her know that she was wrong, very wrong with this decision of saying no you are fine. Good luck. Keep us updated!
~Krista~