United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

I dont post often, I am one of those "lurkers". Probably because my daughter has had such a great recovery I really dont have alot of questions, but I do want to keep informed. However, I look at this message board many times a day. I cant seem to move past the fact that she was injured at birth. I talk about my delivery to just about everyone. And I am somewhat onsessed with hearing everyone elses story. I have told other new moms that most moms with good recovery move on and that is why you dont hear their success stories that often. However, I have not moved on. When will I get past this?

I personally don't think I will ever get past my daughters delivery and what happened. However I'm not sure that I need to. Everyone has an obsession. The fact that your obsession is about your child makes you a mother, and a good one at that! Sometimes a little obsession is better than a little oblivion. Just my thoughts on obsession.

Time, it takes time. My little guy is almost three now and not one day goes by that I don't think about his injury. Sure, alot of the anger is gone but the saddness still remains. I've just now come to the realization that his arm will never be perfect. But when it comes to perfection, who really is anyway? He's a kind little soul, happy, and has a the most gorgeous blue eyes that would melt your heart. It's not the outside appearance that makes people special, it's what's in their hearts. I look at our kids, and think of all they have gone through and understand that they will become stronger people because of it. Yeah, I get upset when I see him struggle, I often think about the ob and wonder if he ever thinks about my son, it's probably a waste of my thoughts. I just focus now on educating people. If you need to tell your story to a hundred people, I think that's great, you know that is all part of your healing process (and you're educating others at the same time, that's a wonderful thing). Cry if you need to cry, scream if you need to scream, lurk if you need to lurk. I'm sorry I don't have an answer as to when you will get past it. Do what you need to do to help yourself heal.