United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

hi all,

Jan, 43, F, just outside Toronto, Canada, RBPI due to 2 idiot doctors - 1 at a prominent cancer hospital in toronto who neglected to tell me that radiation therapy under my arm could damage the nerves there - and 1 "neurosurgeon" (i use the term lightly) at another supposed "good" hospital in toronto, who said he couldn't tell from the mri if the tumor had returned and needed to do exploratory surgery. i have since found out that tumors are clearly visible on mri's. also, signed the waiver papers with my RIGHT hand morning of surgery, woke up unable to move even my fingers. 2 year anniversary coming up on nov. 26.

just found these boards and glad i did. is there a message thread anywhere to help me deal with this emotionally? i'm just tired of pretending everything is fine and i'm adapting well.

have been told by doctors that i can't work for 3 years - need to wait to see if nerves recover at all. not really - can wiggle fingers but not grip.

i'm bored, broke and single, live with my senior mother (who is recovering from a multiple fracture in her left leg) and 2 senior dogs (my life and sanity savers).

i probably won't post alot - i used to type 110 wpm - but i will be lurking. feel free to email me anytime.

regards,

jan

Hey Jan,
I am a mom of a girl with a birth injury to her left arm. You must be so frustrated!! What happened to you was so wrong - gees - and please do not go get your rifle and start a shooting spree - (I live in TX).
Wish I could help somehow with the Mom, old dogs, and brokeness - but you'll make it - it's been two years and you are getting thru.

Emotionally - I think it really helps to have a sense of humor about life. We all go thru different things and we all deal with things that are not supposed to happen in the life we expected to live. I know that you never thought this would happen to you - but somehow you have to look for what can make you happy now. Life can stink at times - but it does get better, stink - then better again.....
I guess I just want to say that I am sorry for what happened to you - it was so wrong. But - you still have your whole life ahead of you and you have to decide how you want to live that life. There are so many positive role models here that have gone on and are having very exciting and great lives. Also - strange thought but I always think this - if this would have happened to your brother, sister, friend, anyone you loved - what would you tell them to go do? Sometimes the advice you would give others is just the advice you need to hear for yourself,
I hope others join in here, and I just wanted to say Hi and that I am sorry for your pain right now.
Christy

Hi Jan,

I agree with Christy - she nailed it about the cyclical nature of this thing. And Christy, thank you for your suggestion that we imagine we're giving advice to someone else with the same scenario - and pay attention to that. Never thought about it but it does make sense, since by definition whatever you think of would have been something that made sense to you in the first place. Kind of helps put it in perspective.

Another thought I have for Jan is that your honesty is a huge asset. I feel certain that whatever you're going through has been experienced by someone else on these boards - but without putting it out there, you'd never know.

How many nerves have been affected? How are your pain levels? Are you seeing at least some progress?

Take care & keep us posted on how you're doing.

Ellen

Hi Christy & Ellen, and thank you for your wonderful advice.

believe it or not, i usually DO keep a sense of humor but, i think, it was just one of those days! =o)

we're not allowed guns (without a hunting permit) in ontario, but this is a good thing as there are too many people i'd be shooting! reason below.

i keep myself fairly busy doing volunteer work with an animal rescue organization. not sure if i can put their website on here or not. anyway, we rescue dogs, cats, even had some guinea pigs! unfortunately, doing this type of work, you come across real idiots who think animals are disposable. grrrr!

the pain level is up and down. it's starting to get colder and damp here now, so that doesn't help. i've never been told which nerves, specifically, are affected, but i know it starts in the axillary - not the spine, so i'm very lucky there! it's mostly the ulnar nerve and parts of the median that are affected. i can lift my arm but not straighten it. i can also use it (in the last month or so) to carry things. i wear a wrist brace for wrist drop. *wry grin* hmmm...maybe i should have titled my post "pity party in progress" LOL!

i have read the entire "roll call" thread and there are very inspirational stories. it made me realize how lucky i am.

i'm very grateful to have found this board.

hugs to all,

jan

Hi Jan,

I'm close to you (Peterborough). Welcome aboard. If the pain gets too bad, check out my Methadone thread. It is relatively easy to get here in Ontario and it worked for me, along with Bextra.

Gotta go back to work, but will write more later.

Henry

thanks, henry!

hey, we were at stoney lake for a week in august! bet the fall colours are good up there now!

thanks for the advice. so far, the oxycontin is working and, to help it on bad days, i have percocets (oxycocet). they also gave me amitripilyne (sp?) but it makes me a zombie!

don't work too hard, lol!

hugs,

jan

Hey Jan,
Sometimes we all need to have a pity party - sign me in! I need a banner with my name on it - sometimes life gets overwhelming - or maybe it's just me and being so unorganized.....
We just adopted a 3 week old kitten that was left under a bridge - and could eat solid food already when we got him. We now have 2 dogs, 3 cats and a mouse. (I did not want the mouse - my daughter begged.... it is wild to go to a store and actually buy mouse food. The first time I went to find food for the thing I went to the wrong section in the store and there were 100 ways to kill a mouse, but no special treats to buy for your mouse!!! LOL) If I worked for a rescue I think my house would become a zoo because I love animals so much - they'd all live here! LOL It must be a great feeling to rescue animals, and it must really be hard to see animals that people have not taken care of. People can be so clueless about animals' feelings, and that they do have feelings... but yet I am not a vegetarian, but I might be if I ever had a cow as a pet!:)
Anyway - I think you are a fun one to talk to and I hope you post often.
Christy

Welcome to the boards Jan. Sorry to hear of your nerve damage. I was really shocked to hear how you got it. My son is 12, right TBPI-accident last year. Hope to see you posting more.

hi again christy and hi priscilla!

i hate hearing about kids having to deal with this! it is so sad and just not fair! the kids (and their parents) who have to deal with this are heroes to me.

christy - you go girl for rescuing that kitten! yes, if i had a big enough house and lots of money and land, i'd have a zoo! i did rottweiler rescue for 2.5 years and i've been doing all breed/all animal for about a year now. it is so hard when the animals first come in -- alot of them look like a skeleton with fur stretched over it. however, payday is seeing that animal 6 months to a year later -- happy, healthy and at the proper weight!

i have a newfoundland dog who's 10, had him since he was a puppy; an 8 year old rottie girl who i've had for just over 3 years now. she's my girl and such a sweetie! i'm so proud of her as she just passed her therapy dog test, which means we'll be visiting senior homes and our local hospital! i also have 2 cats, one 8 and one 13. i used to also have 2 doves and a hooded rat! yes, i had a food chain lol!

i'm not vegetarian either, i like red meat too much. isn't it illegal to be vegetarian in texas? *grin*

that must be a riot looking for mouse treats! i'll check with some of my rescue friends and see if they know of any and i'll let you know.

ok, i'll stop now. i'm terrible once i start on about "fur kids".

again, thank you all. you're all amazing and i'm glad i found you!

hugs,

jan

Hi Jan
Sorry you're here, pleased you found us.
The emotional side of things is often neglected, especially by some bpi doctors-they sometimes get too focussed on the arm fixing thing and ignore the emotional side of what is a massively life changing injury, especially when you've previously been able bodied. Some of us started a tbpi website based in the UK and one feature is an FAQ section-we noticed the same questions coming up on our message boards over and over so put the responses to the commonest all together in one place. Here's the one about depression and how it has effected some of our members http://tbpiukgroup.homestead.com/faq_6dep.html .

I'm wondering why your doctor doesn't want you to work? I went back to work as soon as I could (3 months after my accident) despite not having any use of my right arm, I found working made me far less depressed and also helped amazingly with the pain. But I worked in a bank, maybe you have a job where you can't manage without 2 hands. If you can get the all clear to return to work I would go for it, dealing with the injury definitely got easier for me when I was working.

As for menageries, our family has 1 horse, 2 whippets, 3 cats, 1 rainbow lorikeet, 1 frog and various transient orphan birds/lizards/animals. I'd have more if my husband would let me! Animals are great therapy :0)
Take care
Jen NZ :0)