United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Hello Kathleen,

Well, I've written two previous messages and they both have disappeared! I'm hoping they'll show up somewhere since I can't remember what I wrote exactly.

I would like to hear the results of your tests. I'm quite sure that most of my own medical problems were caused by the Erb's Palsy.

Sarah

I think the reason my messages disppeared is that I fogot to log in first. They may be still be here someplace if you know where to look.

My e-mail address is: spepper@juno.com

hey,
it does effect my self esteem when im walking around the halls at school because i feel like my arm looks wierd to other people. By the way im 14 and looking wierd is something that everyone worries about anyway. but i still worry about that specific thing. but it also gives me better self esteem when im at gymnastics and i do something really awesome that i thought i would never be able to do.
Amber

Hopeless, whomever you may be, I just have one question, why is it so necessary to hide your bpi arm? I have Erb's Palsy in my right arm, and when people see me they are amazed at what I can do with my arm like it it. I know my arm is not as bad as some but it is really not that great either. But you know what there is nothing I can do about it so I just deal with it. All you can really do is look on the bright side. Start talking about your arm it helps a lot. Up until I was in 9th grade I never said any thing about my arm, I had like one friend and was always depressed, so I decided to do my health fair project on Erb's Palsy because I wanted every one to know what I had to deal with, ever since then it has been getting easier and easier to talk about it. Now I am a senior in High School (yes that only makes me 17) and I have a lot more friends and respect from other people. Let the people around you know how you feel, whats the worst thats gonna happen, they never talk to you again? Or you might make a lot of new friends. I find that most new people are facinated by my arm, and I suspect that you will find that too.

I really hope that things get better for you,
Amy

Amy, thanks for sharing your perspective. My daughter is 12-1/2. The kids at her school don't really care that her arm is different. One boy that she has Math class with always tells her, "I think you have a cool arm!" - she thinks that is funny - he is a nice kid who has become a good friend to her. Brittney said that there is a boy at school who lost a finger in an accident last year. He'll tell the kids in classes with him or at his lunch table, "If you buy me a soda I will tell you how I lost my finger!" and the kids all think that is funny and they want to hear so they buy him a soda or chips or whatever while he tells his story. He has gotten alot of free food over the past year! I liked that kid's idea. Brittney might borrow that one sometime if she is hungry and kids are asking questions! LOL

It is nice to hear your thoughts Amy, (and every one elses too) about where they are coming from and how they feel at this time in their lives. Brittney does not really want to share with her friends how hard things are for her to do though - that is private. She is very independant and works hard at perfecting things, like doing her own hair, and would not want her friends to know that some things are tough for her to do. Maybe as she gets older she will be more willing to let others know. Maybe someday she will want to write a paper about her injury but for right now it is too personal for her.

I learn alot from reading comments from others with this injury - and thank you all for sharing.
Christy

LOL! "Buy me a soda!" That sounds just like what my son would say to someone! He is 11 and RTBPI-4 wheeler accident last year. I really cant speak for him, but in my opinion it has effected his self esteem. I honestly dont dee how an injury like this couldnt really, unless you are super human or something. All I can say is we work toward POSITIVITY in everything we say and do when it comes to him, trying to boost his confidence in himself. It will just take time, Im sure, hes still new to it. Im so glad for the chance to get to know some of the pre-teen and teens here and their parents, we have so much in common! It helps so much! AMY--You are wise in your young years, girl!!

A PROFOUND YES !!! to your question about self-esteem, Trinda. I am a right OBPI who had a very successful 26 year career as a medical scientist, and while I endured the questions, taunts, and usual childhood humiliations of "being different" and unable to participate in many of the usual things other kids did, I found other interests and a sense of survival that served me well then and continues to be a source of inspiration for me most of the time. I am 52 and recently began a small jewelry design and manufacture business, only to be interrupted early this year by a serious stretch injury resulting in excruciating pain. Months of physical therapy and other procedures have resolved most of that now, but weakness persists.

So I rearrange my priorities, adapt in ways I can, and forge onward and upward. At a time of crisis, I found this website and many advised and shared with me-- helping me lovingly and compassionately.

While I don't deny moments of frustration at not being able to do some things I'd like to do and a rare cry for help, I'm far more grateful for the things I can do. One of the first things I was taught about being a Southern belle was that everyone has challenges and tragedies in life, but what is memorable and admirable is handling them with grace and dignity.

HI to EVERYONE !!!!! and in two weeks I will get to meet for the first time in my life other BPI people at the Arizona Picnic in Scottsdale !!!!

Sharon

It definitly affects my self-esteem. I'm a sixteen year old girl so I find it difficult enough but when people notice I feel awkward. I have an Erbs Palsy in my right arm (and have broken the left arm countless times due to trying one handed handstands etc) I was standing at the checkout the other day and i find it difficult to count change and pick it up because I have hardly any feeling in my fingers. Everyone began to stare including the cashier and I started shaking and dropping the money everywhere. That was the lowest I've ever felt, I think all the customers thought I couldn't count. I began to cry and the cashier asked if I was alright and I explained to her what was wrong. She was so understanding and took the change from me, counting it herself. I was still very embarassed.

My friends are great, they help me carry my school bag and everything but it annoys me when I'm unable to play sports at school. I try most things in sports class and fail at a lot of them too. I take a lot of knocks but at the end of the day I just think I have to get on with it. My arm bothers me and I feel like it's very noticable but it's great when people say that they wouldn't think a thing was wrong with me.

Because of my Erbs I feel very insecure about myself and how I look to other people. I won't go swimming anymore and I am very self-concious. So it's a definite yes to your question!

Sarah, If you want to I would like to chat with you sometime. I have email or msn messenger, they are hope16@hotmail.com for both. I think I have a lot to share with you since you are close to my age. I am 17 and ROBPI Erb's Palsy.
Feel free to email me or IM me.
Amy

Hi everyone, I had to sign in as a guest because I have forgotten my pasword. I have lerked at times, but it's been quite awhile since I've posted.

About the self esteem: When ever anyone would ask or does ask "does your arm hurt" or "why are you holding your arm in that position" I have just told them oh, that just a birth injury and let it go at that.
I think the self esteem problem is more recent and I don't believe it's over the arm. I've put on weight, several pounds, although it has been gradual since I can no longer do very many things.

Another self esteem issue is when someone asks why aren't you working. When I tell them I'm still fighting for my disability (I now have two cases one for ssd and one for ssi sitting on some judge's desk waiting for my turn again. I'm on my 4th appeal.) Anyway people say gee, you look normal. I sure like that word "normal" You is normal??? And then of course, you don't look old enough to retire or be on disability.
'm 57 now and still left obpi. I've learned to live with the pain in the arm, it's the fibro, arthritis, osteo and what ever, I'm having pain issues with.

Us "older" obpi's never knew we were not normal and for the most part we did what we could and the rest didn't matter. We held jobs, had families, got older and started going down hill with pain issues. Of course, I learned my injury also affect the growth of one side of my brain. Now I have an excuse. LOL LOL Ah, such as life with a birth injury.

Oh yea, I'm glad to see so many new posters. Support is very important as to how you see life and how you view yourself.

Sharon from MI