United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

rachelsm~
Of course, the OP has the highest concern for her own son! I never meant that others were more concerned and I never said that they were. I was just sharing my perspective on what others wrote. For all I know they didn't mean it the way I interpreted it. But I try to assume the best about others and instead of agreeing they are putting her down and call her stupid or intending to make her feel like crap, my heart was to show another perspective.

I don't understand your comments I am quoteing here:
"it's this type of behavior (clic ish) that is a major turnoff to many and prevents organizations like this from being effective and creating a true voice for those that are dealing with this injury. It breeds 'likeness' or 'similar to me' syndrome (when someone posts something outside what's deemed normal, you get responses such as the ones that were posted in response to your post)."

I don't get it. What it sounds like to me you are saying is that we all should have just told mlynn that we are so happy for her and left it at that. That asking questions and being curious are not allowed. If this is true then that seems to be to be more what of what would breed a you have to be like me syndrome.

I would love you to provide some further explaination of this as well: "In the times that I have lurked around this site, it appears that there are a lot of the same folks that seem to respond to each other or are quite selective in who they respond to."

Because I am lost on that.

I am not intending to be mean, rude or anything negative. And please forgive me if I have come a cross that way. I just would really like to understand your perspective better. I would be happy to have to conversation off board if you feel it would be better.

Blessings,
Kristie

Support groups are funny things. The word support has many definitions. But I think the over all gist of the word means to uphold or add strength. I find that what some people what from a support group is to just uphold them... to tell them they are right and just affirm whatever they say. I know for me that is not what I want from a support group. I want to be challenged and encouraged to grow, to change and to be strengthen! And that is often how I support others. Not that I don't affirm what others say or that I always question their posts but I might it just depends on the circumstance. That doesn't mean I don't like them, think they are stupid, or want them to feel like crap. Sometimes it means what they posted caused me to ponder and I want to know more. Sometimes it is because I feel I might be able to add some knowledge they didn't have before. But my desire is still to support them. Now, of course, others will not feel the same way but on a public board you will get all sorts of what different people consider support. So it is important to develop tough skin and to try to assume the best about others whenever possible.

On the internet we are completely judged by our written words. Sometimes they are accurate indicators of who we really are... and sometimes the are not. The bummer with written word is that we do not have voice inflection and body language to help us out. I know there are times when something I read hits me wrong and I type a response and hit the post button and then later realize how bad I just came off... or that in real life I would have never actually said what I was thinking because it would sound rude! I have found that when I meant something in a silly joking manner it came off as unkind. So it is important to do our best to type what we really mean and to keep in mind that others will judge us based upon what we write. And as readers it is a good idea realize that we might not be "reading" the author correctly so before we jump to conclusions it might be helpful to clarify the meaning and intent. I thinking giving the benefit of the doubt on things regarding the internet especially message boards is very important.

The above is also why I mentioned the whole caps thing to begin with. People judge you by your writing. They make assumption of what you are like based on every aspect of your writing: grammar, spelling, choice of word size and even color (I am sure the list can be added too) can speak to others something about who you are. Often times when on a message board (especially this one) if I think what I am about to post will make the person look bad or come a cross in a negative way I will take it off board to comment. This particular thing I felt was good info for others and it wasn't intended to be rude, condescending, or anything other than a friendly "hey did you know this?" Who knows who is reading... or will be reading and will think about another poster that they must be angry all the time or that they don't know that posting in all caps is yelling on-line which would make them internet ignorant. Now please know I am not saying that is true. I am just saying that it is possible . So I thought I was doing a service to the OP and others by mentioning it. Instead I have been called petty! Which in and of itself unkind and unfair but I realize that I was not understood so I am just gonna let that run off my back like water on a ducks back!

Thank you for reading! Have a great day! I know I am planning to!
Blessings,
Kristie

ok
last time.
he is splinted AT NIGHT ONLY!
i have researched nath for 4 years, went to camp and at dinner someone called him a liar. while there i bit my tongue. i thought it would be different. especially since we already had the date for the mod. but i guess some feel that they are smarter than him.
he wrote the FIRST book on bpi and is writing another. he is a professor at baylor and is widely respected all over the world! so when i hear crap from only a couple it ruins it for all. i put off surgery b/c of what some here were telling me via email. wish i did not but i gathered more info. i have been to all the bpi docs and i chose nath. if u do not like him fine but do u have to give ur response every time we post positive things? i am truly disgusted only at a few whom always hate on nath. i wish it would stop! if anyone would like to ask me any thing please do but this really is my last post.

Mylnn
Go to amazon.com there are 7,560 books written on Brachial Plexus Dr Nath is not the 1st I don't know where you got that info from. I also don't see anywhere written in this subject that anyone hates Dr Nath why do you keep saying that???? Mare

The reason my daughter was splinted was that she had a screw put into her deltoid to hold it to the trapezius (she had a couple of surgeries rolled into one). The doctor who did her surgery did not want there to be any chance that the screw could become dislodged. This particular doctor tends to "over-cast." He has every child who has the mod quad done with him casted for six to eight weeks. It was difficult never being able to take the cast off!! Her surgery took four and a half hours.

I do not hate doctor Nath at all. I chose to go with an equally qualified doctor in Boston, mostly because I live in New England. Having researched Dr. Nath and my daughter's current surgeon, we decided that one was not "better" than the other. Both are highly skilled professionals equally capable of dealing with a brachial plexus injury. Just because we chose a different doctor, and I questioned something about the one you chose doesn't mean I hate or distrust him, I was simply curious as to how your experience could have been so greatly different from the "rest of us." I wondered if maybe you were not able to speak with him post-op, and he did something (or not) that you were originally expecting.

Please don't leave the board because of that. Honestly, that kind of sounds like an "I'm taking my ball and I'm going home" kind of mentality. We all enjoy the honest opinions of everyone on the board. It gives us something to talk about. If we all had the same opinion, there would be nothing to say!

Mlynn,

BPI books were written before Nath was even born. Do you honestly believe he is the FIRST BPI doc ever? Who do you think he learned FROM? That is just the most bizarre claim I have heard. He is also no longer affiliated with Baylor and cannot do surgeries at TCH. It's totally unsubstantiated claims like this that make some people - like myself - very turned off to Dr. Nath. That is quite different than hating him. *I* could not hate anyone I haven't met (unlike more than a few people who have expressed hate for me!)

I would not have said anything in response to your post - you know full well how I feel about Dr. Nath - except that it came out that your child is not splinted except at night. Either your child is totally different than any child whose parent has posted on this site, or something different was done to your child. There is no judgement about anyone or anything in that statement, it simply is THE TRUTH AS FAR AS I CAN TELL (yes, I'm yelling). I also said IF it were me, I would want to know why the difference. There are a few of us curious about this drastic change in post-op protocol. If you aren't... that's fine. But that doesn't make our concern automatically evil or bad!

Kate

Mylnn
You stated your son has only one small incision, my son had the as you say full mod quad with Dr Nath he has 2 incisions. One is 4 inches long the other is about 3 inches long. mare

Mare,

She said very small incisions, not just one.

Kate

I love Dr. NAth too, but my son also has one very long insicions(I know I spelled that wrong) not two. the mod quad scar is ABOUT 10 inches long and runs down his arm pit. I would certainly ask him questions too and trust me I love Dr. Nath. He is the most wonderful person I have ever met....let alone being a wonderful Dr. GAYLE

we have 2 stitches i talked to his staff and he is going to change his web. ok there is more books on bpi i get it but i trust him and all i wanted to do is reassure all others getting that surgery that our surgery went well! all sceptics can just be silent nath is our doc and i hope u can respect that! i am a very religious person and god bless everyone here