Personal Question

[Ginne]

Like most that have posted, I am a SAHM also. I have the time to devote to Missy's Dr.'s appointments and PT/OT.

Each man handles crisies differently so does each woman. When we first found out about Missy's injury, I stayed up late at night finding out what information i could about this injury. the next day I shared everything with him and he would ask questions and get me to check out other things (that's how i ended up finding this website)

When Missy came out of surgery (thurs 10:15pm) and we saw her in the recovery room, Jeff was crying and I was not (too afraid if I started I would never stop). He then drove the 2.5 hrs home and prepared for his own surgery the following morning (Fri 8am) and had his parents drive him back first thing Saturday morning(crutches, codine and all!!!)

Jeff has always been a willing participant in our daughter's recovery, but he definately leaves the "leg work" to me. The computer is still not his friend, and he has other issues with a keyboard (he says that the letters are never in the same place - like they switch from one instant to the next - and he KNEW he had just used the "E" key but where the heck did it go!!!!??? LOL)

I leave the decision of staying or going to the appt's up to him. If he is having a lousy pay week (not too many loads), I will tell him not to bother coming, but if it's been a good week, then he is the one reminding me that he has booked the day off and planning the drive.

If there is one thing that I have learned over the 13 years of my marriage, it is that if you don't ask for their (hubby's) help or participation, you won't get it!

-Ginne

BTW: Marcel, you were perfectly clear - loved your accent

[Kath]

Marcel
I think you made some great points. Thanks for posting it is nice to read the male point of view.
Kath

[CW1992]

Wow - Great posts here!
When Brittney was little I'd do all - therapy, ROM, appts, and see her day to day struggle. Chip would come home and ask "how did your day go?" and it was hard to verbalize for me because it would be a hard day. He'd come home and play with the kids but he did not see the day to day things that were hard for her and when I brought them up he'd be silent - basically block me out which made me upset - I thought that he wasn't listening - - but he was.......
I realized that that was his way of dealing with what hurt him too.
He is a very 'involved' parent but has a hard time with speaking about her injury. She is his little girl - the one that melts his heart. He is the first to go get her to play basketball, soccer, volleyball to try to get that arm moving - but he never makes an issue of it. I still remember how excited he was when he put up the swing set that had MONKEY BARS - he hoped she would build up her arm strength - which she did!:) Just like others have posted - we all deal differently and I am more verbal and my husband tends to keep his feelings in but cares just as much as I do because we both love Brittney. To me he is the only other person in the world who really understands.
Christy

[admin]

I agree that my husband is great but I am the one who does all the work. It is super hard because I also work f/t and go to school p/t. He helps by doing "some" housework and he will do rom with her if I ask. I do all the reasearch, appointments and p/t o/t and estim. I never imagined having children would ever be so hard.

[Nettie]

I have been very lucky in that outside of me making appointments for various medical appointments, my husband has always been very involved. He has gone to every single appointment and asks questions as necessary and he has done Joseph's ROM consistently. When Joseph was a baby, I initially did his range because I am a nurse and had the knowledge base, but my husband quickly learned how to do it and has been the one to do his ROM daily since he was one. However, my husband has always been super involved with the kids, diapering, feeding, bathing, potty training, carting them here and there, playing with them, scouts, homework, all appointments with both the kids, etc. He also does all the grocery shopping, he cooks, cleans, takes care of the garden, etc. The only things he has not done for me is laundry(I wouldn't trust him anyway) and cleaning the bathrooms. So I am very grateful that I married who I did. He is a keeper!!