How do you explain BPI to people?

[Kathleen]

I guess I will jump in. I feel once a child can talk they should be give and answer. We always know that our arms do not work the same as others... so why try to pretend they are the same... the truth is always best.

I knew I was injured while being delivered because the doctor pressed too hard and severed the nerves in my shoulder... I don't remember when I heard it but I could tell you this at age 6... I knew that the delivery room was crazy and the doctors were rushed to save both mine and my Mothers life. My Mom often told me how lucky we were to be alive...

Education is wonderful... and the key... but again I feel no sense of anger towards the doctor and I can't exactly explain why - bpi has complicated my life and has made changes... some positive and some negative... I don't know who I would be if I were not OBPI because that has always been a part of who I am. I never felt as if the doctor did it to hurt me! It just happened at that time and that was the way it was....
I know you all try never to talk like this in front of the children... but you never know when they begin to pick up information and process it.. so it is best to wait for serious talks on this, until they are old enough to understand ... keep a journal and spill your feelings into it... it would be a wonderful thing to share with a mature obpi/child... and a great way to vent your anger and relieve your stress.

I never felt like a victim... nor do I now even with all the information I have learned about this injury... and all the complication it often causes and even with its frustrations.... I always knew this was not done on purpose -

I know it is and was avoidable and should not happen but once it has happened you cannot turn back the clock and cannot change it...

It is how you choose to present it and make it work for the child...

Positive - without anger - and let them hear as little as possible about how this complicates family life. Don't allow people to engage in conversation about their arms in front of them... I started to answer for myself at about 6 on public transportation on my way to school.

Give them a brief answer to explain their injury.
I told people ( who asked me) I was injured during birth and it was fixed and it was called Erb's Palsy... and end the talk in front of the children.... and that is all anyone needs to know... and if people persist then hand them one of the printable brochures... and change the subject...

The last thing I ever wanted as I got older was to talk about my arm... in fact I have spent most of my life not talking about it... and then found all the information on UBPN and began to spill my guts about how it can be prevented etc... now you can't shut me up if an opportunity comes along to educate expentant parents and grandparents...

Hope this helps... jumping off the soap box again...
Kath

[carron]

Kathleen you said it very well. I don't want Thomas to be angry at me or the doctor. I want to be able to tell him some day what happend without him having to hear me explain it to people over and over. I want him to know I did everything possible for him and that he his loved for who he is he is my special angel and will always be.... Thanks Kathleen you made me feel a lot better. And gave me much to think about.
Carron

[Sophie's Mom]

Thank you, Kathleen. And the journal is a great idea.