United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Liz you said it perfectly, "Humour is a very healthy way of dealing with a trauma in life." TBPI I am sure it is different. Kath and I have talked tons about this... the older you get the easier it gets to laugh about anything. It comes with closure and personal acceptance. I, as Liz said, hope that those offended by this thread can look back and laugh with the rest of us. It really is ok to laugh, aside from the fact, laughing burnd calories which in turn burns fat and reduces what the scale says!!!

COurt xx

Lizzy, I hear exactly what you are saying. I am at a point in my son's life that his injury doesn't consume me. His progress is at 85 to 90%. I can understand having a sense of humour about your own injury. I can understand a parent being confortable enough about their childs injury that they feel they can joke about it. My son jokes about his arm and he doesn't let it bother him. But here is a point of veiw in a different way. Say you have a child who has a BPI, and they are at school and another kid makes a joke like the one Kate did, not to be hurtful but just for fun. Would you as a parent find it funny then. That to me is no different as a parent making a joke about their childs arm, even without intention to hurt. There is no difference. Tina said it best "I also think it's great that as parents/family/friends, etc. that we laugh WITH them when THEY make jokes / comments. However, I don't think that as parents we should be making any jokes ourselves." No one is trying to start a fight over this, there are just those that doen't believe the post should be here. My only concern is for a parent who's child is a few weeks old to come on here and read this. That is when we are most vulnerable, and it could be hurtful and scary for them. I know when my son was that young and I would of seen this, I would of read it and would have been mortified. So I am just saying it is best to be mindful of those who are new to this.

I just wanted to reply to the tape joke. It never occurred to me that anyone here would take that seriously?!

I see so many people here post all the time about how strangers ask questions and how angry or upset it makes them. I guess in our house we don't tend to get angry about these questions (which are sometimes rudely or agressively asked) but we do often joke about how we would sometimes like to respond.

I have never and would never actually respond so rudely (ie., "it holds his arm on") to a question about Joshua's kinesiotape. BUT... sometimes questions are asked in a way that makes you want to say something really startling or shocking back Fantasizing about various obnoxious or horrifying responses does help me to smile and be patient when that happens.

Kate

Christy,

I, too, just loved your anecdotes from Brittney. Have you ever considered writing them down in some sort of "humor" pamphlet that could also be given to new parents?? I think this would be a wonderful contribution; in addition to all the information UBPN provides, there could be some really great "real life" perspectives that show how life really can go on.

Brittney sounds like such a cracker. You must've done something right! I know who I'm going to bug for advice as Joshua gets older

Kate

They say that "Laughter is the best medicine" and I tend to agree with that. In any situation, it is good for you!
As there is a warning in the subject of this thread, which was good insight, those who don't like the humor should either not read it or simply close it and go to another thread. As for Lou's comment about a child reading it, I would hope that a child would have parental supervision while reading anything on the Internet and since there is a warning, I would hope such parents would read it frist before letting a child's eyes view it.

Peggy

Guest: I'm glad to hear someone else had this experience! My husband and I would like to have another child, but I find I *often* think how easy we have it with Joshua. How *am* I going to change/dress/manage a child that has two arms waving around?

Kate

Ok, here's a "positive" parental anecdote.

Joshua is and has always been a really amazing, happy, smiley little guy (even during the month of colic early on).

During the early times, people would frequently comment on this. I often found myself responding "If all you had to do to make mommy ecstatic was wiggle your fingers... you'd think life was charmed, too!"

Kate

There are universal laws that we live by, whether we do so 'on purpose' or not. Point being: If one harbors negative energy, then negative thoughts and events come right back at them.

It is more important than anything, that an individual, weather the injured or the parent of the injured, stay positive.
An EXTREMEMLY challenging thing to do under these circumstances.

Lou,
I have deep empathy for you and your family, especially your BPI child. I am sorry to hear the bad news about your child's broken arm.
Always an awareness and fear of all BPI parents.
I see that you do indeed keep coming back to this thread. I hope you keep coming in atempt to lighten your heart, and not to hold on to anger. If we were together right now, I would love to hug, cry, and laugh with you. So for now, I will send love & strength through this thread...because I know you'll be back to recieve it. May God bless you & yours.

By the way, the posters on this thread have had MORE than their share of tears (not the happy ones)

They have earned these few minutes of laughter, and I, for one, appreciate them doing so. 2 days ago I started going down myself, again. I started geting consumed with "forever"
This tread ALONE, snapped me back.

All we have is NOW... make it good.

To Crestmom,

You say "My only concern is for a parent who's child is a few weeks old to come on here and read this. That is when we are most vulnerable, and it could be hurtful and scary for them".

When I first came to the boards, I was overwhelmed by all the sadness and grief that everyone reported, even years and years after their child was born. Personally, I would much rather have seen something that showed that children AND their parents could incorporate this injury into their lives in a postive, humorous way.

About only the kids being able to joke about the injury:

It isn't only the children that are injured by BPI. The children often seem to handle it better than their parents! It is all they've ever known, while the parent has to cope with guilt and the loss or change of hopes and dreams for their child.

My husband and I were also tremendously hurt by our child being injured, and it hurts us to think of what he will or will not be able to do. It's important for me and my husband, also, to be able to deal with *our* grief, and humor helps.

Kate

Kate:
I think this is funny and we have used humor to get through so many things in our lives.

We have boy/girl fraternal twins. I used to run a Mothers of Multiples group at our JCC. I always started the sessions off with "okay, who has the dopey comment of the day?" So we could all laugh.

As for the Kinesio taping comment...I was laughing out loud!

There is so much sadness in this injury...it is a fabulous release to laugh about it. And if some of you are not "at this place" where you can laugh about some of the things related to the injury, then don't read the post. Or better yet, I think you need to laugh a little.

I can't recount the number of times Juliana has fallen and I hear "I'm okay" as she pops up and we just crack up. She always has a smile on her face, so why shouldn't we? If we don't teach her to have a sense of humor about LIFE, let alone the injury, she will be so much poorer for it. We have tried to teach all of our kids to have a sense of humor... try this one on: my son has epilepsy. One day we are out having lunch and I order a Cesaer Salad. He says "hey that's me: a seizure salad!!!" He fell of his chair he was laughing so hard. So did his sisters. And I laughed too... Does that mean I don't take his epilepsy seriously? or I don't care? This kid, starting in 3rd grade, stands up in front of his class every september and tells them "I have epilepsy. Do any of you know what that is?" And he tells them about it. We do it on the anniversary of his being seizure free (we are now 3 years in!!). I credit his sense of humor as what gives him the ability to do this. And NO ONE makes fun of him.

I think life is just too short to take yourself too seriously.

keep laughing,
claudia