When people ask what's wrong with your child's arm?

[Kath]

Some one mentioned "little ears" - it is important to be matter of fact when the child is listening.

I traveled on public transportation to school and was asked by total strangers on bus and subway. I think the calm matter of fact way my mother handled it gave me the tools to handle the questions.

My mother always gave a simple calm answer and when I was a little older and alone adults would ask me what was wrong with my arm. I simple told them "I was injured when I was born and the doctor pressed too hard and tore my nerves in my shoulder... and I have a miracle because now I can move my arm"

At certain points in my life I hated it! Now I welcome it because if give me an opportunity to educate and spread Awareness.
Kath

[jep98056]

I'd essentially repeat Nancy's answer to your question. I usually say that I was injured at birth. That my right arm and shoulder are affected. If the person is interested in more information, I'll explain what happened, how the injury occurred, that birth injuries are still happening today, and, now that I have them, give the person one of the UBPN informational cards.

John P.

[admin]

Angela, Yea, I knew I saw the business card thing someplace, but couldnt remember where. We always KNOW James is listening when someone asks about his arm, and we always just say he has a nerve injury from an accident he had, and we never say anything that would scare him. But, sometimes people ask when did it happen and when I tell them almost 9 months ago, I guess they think we must be terrible parents to let this go on like it has, because they dont understand about how SLOW nerves heal, and I guess they think we should be doing more to help him. We ALWAYS brag on his progress and how hard he has worked and we always make sure HE hears it. One of his accomplishments just last week, is he has learned to tie his shoes with one hand, his left hand!!!!!!!! James is very independent and he doesnt want anyone feeling sorry for him, hes a go-getter. We always just stay positive. POSITIVITY IS POWER!!

[CW1992]

Hi Amber,
My daughter is 12 now, but I remember how hard it was trying to figure out the right wording for questions. Britt was always standing right beside me and so I usually told people that one arm was not quite as strong as the other arm. I never went in to detail - it was not necessary. I never used the words "permanent" because it sounded so unhopeful and pessimistic for a kid who was doing so much therapy trying to strenghten her arm up. Over the past 12 years I have been asked so many bizarre things and really I feel that as she has gotten older I have become so much stronger on how to answer. I used to tear up because I wasn't sure what exactly to say and it bothered me that someone would ask because that meant that they noticed that my child was different looking. Now I am proud. Yes my child does have an arm injury and look at how great she does! It gets easier!!! I used to feel that the questions were digs at if I was a good parent - sorry if that sounds strange, but to be asked if my child had a previous broken arm, or polio - sort of made me feel like I was being a neglectful Mom. I'd come home from soccer, basketball, whatever practice she was at - feeling mad or upset or ticked off.. Personally I feel that people just want a very simple answer - wouldn't you really? I usually say, "My child was injured during her birth and her nerves were damaged" something like that. No blame - there is no need for that. Anyway, I have come to realizwe that people are not mean but they are curious. Too much info is hard to hear especially when people are dealing with their own problems - they want simple answers. Keep it as simple as possible because your child will hear and that is who matters most of all - not the person asking.
Hope this helps,
Christy

[dmom]

Tanya:

When people ask what's wrong with Danny's arm, here's what I say:

"My OB injured him during the delivery and damaged the nerves that control everything in his left arm."

Then, of course, my 5-year-old launches into her explanation of brachial plexus injuries. Sometimes, you just can't win!

Janet

[Angela Butterfly]

That's the truth......just wait until they become a TEENAGER.