United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

just wanted to make sure I understood that last part...release the id ...ego?
great....
Do you think your parents were in denial? Just curious, maybe Max will say that to me, Ive been accused of it plenty, but I dont believe it -
not that your 'accusing me ' of it, I know,,, just wanted to explore that if you want of course

Hello Anthony, My name is Renee. How are you? Yes, I am interested in knowing what type of problems you have with your arm and how you manage.
What exactly can you do with it and what can't you do. Did you ever have any therapy?
If you prefer to write me personally, my e-mail is sharonnoelle@yahoo.com
Thanks for being willing to share with us!

Sincerely, Renee I have a son who isss 1 and 1/2 and was injured on his right arm.

Sorry, Anthony. I didn't read the thread until after I had e-mailed you so my questions were sort of answered.
What about your shoulder? Did it ever get dislocated? Do you have ball and socket in your shoulder or do you know? Can you get an operation now or not? Are you in any pain?
What type of sports do you play and which ones are easier for you? Do you swim?
Is your arm a bit shorter than the other one? Are you able to bend it or straightened it out? Hope you don't mind all my questions.
I liked what you said about teasing as it's true that everyone gets teased but it's how it affects us. Thanks for mentioning that.
Are you working now and what do you do? Are you going to school and have a career choice in mind? Just curious as to what your dreams are and what you want to do and how your injury plays in with that. Thanks so much for the input.

Sincerely, Renee

well renpie I work at a gas station right now its not a very demanding job. I do have struggles but I try to stay positive ,because if I think of all I can do or cant do well I wouldnt do anything I do all sports but only to my expectations I shoot ball, I play catch , I swim I just learned how to do it my way..anybody that asks I tell what can they say to a person who is knowledgeable about their condition and they know its hard to break you? I go to school now for phlebotomy and soon hopefully sonography ...I want to try and breakthrough some of the quandrys our cases bring ...If I missed anything ask again Im here always '''



Anthony

This is an extremely interesting thread, covering quite a few topics...
I hope I can reply with some lucidity.

As to regards of parenting of a child with scars/limitations/disabilities:
My wife was born with Madelungs Deformity, a disease which causes bones to grow unevenly, both in length and girth -- in developmental years this meant surgery on her feet, to remove sections of bone (before) the big toe.
Later (late teens/early twenties) it also included surgery in both arms and wrists, to remove an inch from each ulna.
Visual deformities, such as wrist placement, were obvious from a very early age.

Her parents were, like most of us, probably not ideal; however they did do here a favor she truly appreciates to this day:
They pushed her hard. They had her doing physical work that you'd expect a boy to do, or perhaps even the parents should have done, to develop a very strong musculature and willpower. She was bitter about it for a long time -- until her mid-twenties or so.
However several specialists had informed her that she'd be in a wheelchair because of the disease by the time she was 25.
She's 30 now, and still walking; she uses a cane occasionally (as the bones shift it becomes excruciating), but most days she's fine.
She has the strength of will to see life through, meeting every challenge head-on. She does everything a "normal" person would do, and in many ways she does it better. She's very thankful to her parents now, for having pushed her so hard.
As parents we need to hold the wisdom to understand that gratitude is not always immediate, and sometimes doing what's best can be very painful, but it needs doing just the same.

----

As for myself, I nearly lost my left hand a little over a year ago (even having it "saved", I have approximately 20% use of both hand & wrist), and it took me quite a while to adjust.
"I'm a cripple" is such an easy cop-out.
You see, I was not raised to "deal with" being incapable of doing something; if I saw something needing doing, I did it. Simple as that.
Adjusting was difficult, to say the least.
However, I've also come to other understandings about myself: just because I don't have the same (physical) tools as "normal" people, doesn't mean I can't still do the job. It simply means I must find an alternative method (or, in many cases, a "smarter way") to accomplish the same end.

It's all about mindset, and willpower.

Given those two tools, anyone can do nearly anything.
So there are things I can't do at all -- play guitar, for example -- there are millions of people who can't -- I'm no different from them. I can still play other instruments, it just takes some learning. Which brings us back to willpower.

It took me over a year to get here, but I understand now that dwelling on "can do / can't do" is simply another form of feeling sorry for myself; rather than thinking of the problem, I had to re-learn how to think of the solution instead -- never to think "Can I do this?" but instead "HOW can I do this?".

I hope I've not insulted anyone here -- most of this is just personal experience and opinion... I do realise that everyone is different and that each problem poses it's own unique problems. But by the same token, I'm hoping that at least one person can benefit from this post in some small way.

Well stevens I liked your post very much so..Indeed all men are not created equal and we all realize that the older we get .And being able to do things is in willpower and minset ....but I also do believe in knowing ones limits rome was not built in a day and it did not take one person to build it ..indeed some did more than others but ultimately it was the teamwork involved ..so in that I say we can all accomplish much but rely on friends /family if need be we know we can try and we can do but somethings just are not possible so stick together.

Any other questions I will address or if you like to post your feelings (like StevenS did is greatly welcome) So come one come all this makes everyone feel better one day at a time.

Anthony L.

Dear Kevin(or steven )
great ideas...
the only handicap is attitude!
thanks for sharing!
Anthony, you are right, there is much strength in unity~

Well hopefully I can meet most of you who post on this section and many others. For I will be at camp this year .Ready and willing to make as many friends as possible and hopefully share ourselves mor than we ever could ,because we truly realize then WE ARE NOT ALONE! And there are faces to go along with these posts .....Keep it going

i would just like to thank everyone for there support to each other

i would just like to thank everyone for there support to each other