United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Marymom,

I agree with you on this issue of Pschological effects after trauma.Our efforts should be to make our children as capable and worthy as other any other chuldren who enjoys perfect health.

Munam

Marymom,

I agree with you on the issue of Psychological side effects after Trauma. Our efforts should be to make our childs as capable and worthy as other normal healthy child.
Munam

I've been thinking about this issue a lot.
We all know that much of life is about attitude.

I believe that what happened to me has had a tremendous effect on my character and has molded it. Dealing with the injury and with the two surgeries I had as a child taught me valuable lessons of flexibility and resilience. These are extremely important lessons in life. I've met many people who have not have the opportunities I had to learn this lesson and I am grateful for my parents and how they taught me.

Life is about learning to live with limitations and challenges. I am fortunate in that I learned to cope early.

I don't feel traumatized by what happened to me.


Thanks Bridget for the kind words. I'll have to make sure my husband reads them!

Nancy

Nancy

I will say another kind word... you are cheerful and have a very positive attitude and Judy is a sweetie pie

I met you before your surgery when I had more use of my arm then you did ...I am still thrilled for you ... because now you can supinate..... and I still can't.....LOL.....

If I were younger I would go for the surgery...
I have no doubt...

I think being obpi has taught us all many lessons and one was to be grateful for whatever our parents did because we know it was always with our best interest at heart...

Kath

had the topic been whether Nancy was a great person I would have said wonderful and kind things about her, Im sure Nancy knows this
but the topic remains side effects/costs of surgery,
but I definately dragged this one OFF topic because Im sure Munam was asking monitary $ questions anyways and I will admit to persuing my personal agenda of a surgery exchange on it I think that is healthy enough- and relative to the topic- and NOT a personal commentary on ANYones choices-
Sometimes I feel like people internalize my comments and allow them to feel as if they are judgements on their own personal choices-
That is NOT how I mean them at all- I bless everyone's choice here and know that each individuals choice is the best ands most perfect one they need to make in their life-
I make my comments to provide exchange and an atmosphere of learning,discovery and growth to those interested and perhaps making decisions in the future too-
I make not a single comment without complete realization that I never know what is ultimately best or worst for anyone else.
My comments are definately not meant to be about the personal characteristics of the people on this board- its probably healthiest if we dont debate anyones characteristics(especially mine!) except Nancy's... she's ok- we'll all talk about her
hahahahahahahaha
I do think the line about learning to overcoming challenges was particularly applicable tho and certainly presents a good point.

Hi Marymom

You are right it was off topic ... and non surgery is your agenda and it is healthy to talk about.....but you did speak for/about adult/obpi and of course we have a different view of obpi then you...
I thought we were all cheerful and flexible (we all jumped in the moon walk together) and we three met in Fla. with you...... it was the first time any of us ever met another adult OPBI...so the assumption was you were talking about us ... since we are the few who attend picnics..... and I think I am the only one who never had any surgery ... at all ever on my arms hands..etc............

But it's OK you can talk about Nancy ... she can supinate...and I am still having arm envy...LOL...now we must meet again to compare arms...

Aside from that, over the last 2 years I have had contact with almost 18 other adult obpi ... and I have to say none of them are seem to be traumatized by surgery etc. and all seem to be quite content and satisfied with the care and choices given ... yet all now are curious about our injuries and the treatment we get now...and the results of UN treated bpi can be very devastating ... and harmful because of secondary injury from over compensation.... And that is what the adult/obpi population are concerned with now ... most of our trauma came from being frustrated and different ... not from treatment....

I just thought since we are a part of this board and have our views it would be nice to share....and no I did not think you were saying we were not happy campers.... because I know you met us and know better.... LOL...

Kath

Mary,

I do not take your comments personally, but like all other comments on this board I relate them to my own personal experience and offer responses that I feel are of worth to all who read the message boards. I feel it is important to share with others what I have struggled so hard to learn over the years.

I do not disagree that surgery (for anyone, for any reason) is traumatic...however, each of us must decide for ourselves whether the longterm benefits of that sort of trauma (not to mention that standard risks associated with surgery) are worth it.

Some people may opt not to have surgery for a variety of different reasons. Others may opt to proceed with surgery. We must all respect each other's right to make those decisions, regardless of our own personal beliefs of what is right or wrong.

Mary, I took great exception (and still do) to your original assertion that those people you have met who have had multiple surgeries are less well-adapted than those who have not had surgery. Perhaps that indeed has been your perception/experience, but frankly your statement astonished me.

I have met and known so many children (and some adults) with this injury, some of whom have had multiple surgeries and some of whom haven't. I would never be able to determine if they had had surgeries or not based on their personalities or my perception of their degree of "adjustment."

Interestingly enough when I did a bit of research on this topic the bulk of the information I found related to BIRTH TRAUMA and the lifelong psychological effects that children who suffer traumatic (includes use of instruments) deliveries experience throughout the rest of their lives. That was interesting reading (as far as the theory goes) and its implications for our community.

Psychological issues are deep waters, and I would caution all of us to tread lightly in this subject area and to not be too quick to apply anyone else's theories to our personal situation without a great deal of professional assistance.

I can clearly say, however, that my own experience and observations among our community in no way have revealed the sort of thing Mary suggests.

Bridget

I think we all must have mutual respect for all the community members. Opinions might differ but let us not forget that our mission is to give our children the best possible treatment available may it be surgery or non surgery . Situation of each individaul children is unique , its the Doctors suggestion that will prevail over parents decision . We must decide prudently and its very difficult decision because our decision will have everlasting effect on the children . Lets pray to God that all of us may take the right decision which will be beneficial to all. I would request all not to take comments personaly.
I would also request all to stick to then main topic and discuss the cost of the surgery in monetary $ terms .

Munam

My son had surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital performed by Dr. Allan Belzberg about 3 months ago. The surgery cost our insurance company about $40,000.

Mary, Your observations are the complete opposite from our experience. Joey had his first surgery at age 2. Before that he seemed fearful of strangers and not all that social etc. The day he got back from Texas people noticed a change in him. He had the primary done and I truly believe he was relieved of some pain that he couldnt express or pinpoint before that because he changed and various friends and acquaintances noticed it immediately. Today at 6 1/2 years old he is more emotionally adjusted than I am! (ok...thats not saying a whole lot! ) Seriously...I long to have the faith, bravery and determination he has. He was not one bit fearful going into his 4th surgery. He didnt cry one drop the entire time before or after surgery. Joey trusts in the Lord and it shows in his walk with Him. To him his arm and surgeries to help it are a part of his life that God has allowed for some reason we may never know and so we accept and move on. To him its not even a matter of "dealing" with it...it just is.

Differences in attitude or emotional adjustment come from various influences and in my experience cant be pegged to surgery vs. non surgery.