United Brachial Plexus Network, Inc.

Oh they are quite informed, arean't they? Makes you feel silly doesn't it? NOT !!!! I agree that you need dto leave this alone for now, and work on it later, no need to upset yourself.

I remeber when I was pregnant. I would read ALL of those boards as well and I can remeber how it was really important to some of those woman to be able to have a VBAC. If only they would read 1/100 of this board.
You never want to think or dream that would be your situation!
It never was metioned to me that this might occur! I thought the bigger the better!

There's nothing more frustrating than trying to give someone your experience and they won't take it. My mom alway says, "You can't put an old head on a young body". I agree...we can't save the world...but if we can save one baby from having to live with this injury then it was worth it. I do think somethimes you need to step back and breathe though and only do what you have the strength to do. Your own family comes first.
Have a great day!
T.

Hi Francine, so sorry for your frustration!

Lenni

I understand the frustration. I just lived this with my sister in law. I just wanted to comment that I think some women feel that they are missing out on the natural experience of childbirth if they haven't given birth vaginally. Giving birth to their own baby is something that they have wanted to do all of their lives and if it is a safe choice then they should be allowed to. The dream birth is usually not "Mommy goes to the hospital and he cuts her open...". The Mom WANTS to experience childbirth - - so surely these Moms will be VERY defensive when you try to tell them that might not be the best choice for them - especially after so many people that they trust have been telling them that it is possible. My sister in law had my 1st nephew by c-section. She was obsessed with wanting to have her second child vaginally. She wanted to experience vaginal child birth. The baby was supposed to be another big one. It was so hard - I gave her facts about Brittney's birth and how her injury happened .....but it was not my choice - it was her choice. I did my part by making sure she knew the facts and she discussed them with her doctor. She ended up needing a c-section with her second child. The decisions and choices are not ours to make - but we can make the facts available to those who will listen. Even though the intentions are good ones, you can't force advice on someone who isn't asking for it - they have to want to learn more and that is when the info will be taken seriously.
Christy

When I was going to birth refesher classes for my scheduled c-section, there were 2 moms in the class going for vbac.. I tried to explain what went wrong in my two vaginal births, and about shoulder dystocia, they just couldnt let information thru their ears. The educator was just staying neutral on the topic. vaginal birth was all they wanted and that was it. oh well, I had a great c-section.

When I first went to the OBGYN he started talking about taking my daughter c-section. Over the course of the pregnancy she showed to be a normal size and weight. About three weeks before I was due he decided a c-section would not be necessary. He was not at the hospital to deliver her so one of the other doctors in his office did and caused the BPI. At first I was scared to death of the c-section. But eventually I was ok with it. Some of the other women I spoke with in my child bearing class were totaly against the idea of a c-section. The one had had a c-section and said "it robbed me of the birthing experince, I don't feel like I am really a mother" If a woman has this state of mind, all the teaching you try is not going to get through to her. She is more concerned about herself, and her feelings than the wellfare of her child.

Ha, Cara's response struck a cord that only those on this bb would understand. Just last night I was explaining to my sister-in-law that "I didn't really feel like a mother" (yes I used those exact words)after my first daughter was born (vaginal delivery, LOBPI). She was in the NICU for 12 days after the delivery, I was in for 6. I couldn't hold her until day 5, and when I did it was only for small amounts of time. She had so many cords that she was hooked up to that anytime I held her, the nurse had to hand her to me. My first months were not spent "lovingly bonding" the way I had envisioned, they were spent trying to figure out what happened, finding doctors, therapists, going to hundreds of medical appts.

With my second birth - c-section, I felt so much more like a mother, my daughter roomed-in, I could hold her, feed her etc. I could play with her, without thinking about "how can I get range with this game".

Also, my recovery was soooo much faster with a c-section. I prefer my belly being cut to my xxxxx any day!!!! (Had a 4th degree the first time around).

So to these women...vaginal deliveries with shoulder dystocia can rob one of their birthing experiences as well....But I'm preaching to the choir here and unless it happens to them, they'll never understand.

But I would never wish this on anyone so I sincerely hope it doesn't happen to all the women who choose VBAC that may be at risk for shoulder dystocia. And if it does, I hope that they remember that they can find support on this site.

THERE ARE RISKS WITH BOTH !