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Re: Frightening Situation!!!!
Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2002 1:00 pm
by DebbieJean
Tessie,
Hi. In reply to your son sticking up for himself.
What a courageous boy! Yes, violence is not a good thing, but bullying is worse. Bullying breaks a child's self esteem, and can have long standing problems on their self concept and independance as they are growing up. So.. Congrats. If more people
stood up for themself, and for what they believe in
it would be a safer world to live! Remember WW2, and
all the violence, yes it was bad, but look at how many people fought for freedom of others. You should be
proud of him. Bullying needs to be stopped!
If only we could teach religion in schools, it would help tremendously!
God bless you,
Debbie
Re: Frightening Situation!!!!
Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2002 1:56 pm
by Michelle_16
Mike! Thats a great idea to fend of the bullies! Karate! a bit of therapy and self defence! I just dance ... i think my high kicks scare them off too!
I think also if bullies understood the injury they wouldnt b so tough or mean...unless they have a heart of ice!
Michellex
Re: Frightening Situation!!!!
Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2002 8:32 pm
by marymom
((()))<---hugs
the incident you described could have just as easily happened to a boy with two equally functional arms, There were two of them, likely there is another problem far greater than your son's BPI at the heart of this,
Have you talked to the kids/parents? just curious...I think Id want to know more...
Your son is NOT defenseless I promise you, empower him if he feels defenseless...strong arms are thankfully not the only resolution for conflicts.
Re: Frightening Situation!!!!
Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2002 11:31 pm
by admin
You handled yourself so well. I would've lost it. Can't help it but I don't tolerate Bullies very weel, never had. Why kids can't leave their hands to themselves is beyond me. I would've demanded a meeting with kids parents and the adminstration because they could've really hurt your son in the long wrong. HOW AWFUL!!!! Don't allow your son to feel tramatized though. I always teach my son 4 1/2 that he is never defenseless and that in all cases he has his legs and he needs to kick, kick, kick. Sounds bad, yes, but that is where his strength is and that is what he needs to do to defend himself.
Re: Frightening Situation!!!!
Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2002 12:16 am
by admin
Sorry for what happened to your son. I worry about our daughter being able to defend herself. I don't think about problems with "bullies" so much since I think that tends to be more common with boys than with girls. I do worry about her being able to defend herself in general though, esp. from a man. She is only 3 now, but I will likely look into karate at some point. I think it will be good therapy for her anyway and at the same time, help teach her how to defend herself. I know that's not a solution to the school problem though and I hope that you're able to come to a good resolve with the whole issue.
Re: Frightening Situation!!!!
Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2002 3:41 pm
by admin
Hello everyone,
wow, thanks for the great support!
Yes Mike, I was thinking of even private self-defense lessons for my son. I am glad you have done that also.
By the way, he just turned 9, in grade 4.
I don't want him to become a victim, and told him next time to defend himself with all his ability and strength.
I am I made my presence known to the principal again on Friday. She said they are a good group of boys who made a mistake, but that the teacher and her considered this a very serious matter. I do agree, and hopefully it ends now. We'll see. If it happens again with same said boys, my reaction will be quite different.
If there is a silver lining, it is that it was a "heads up" for me!
Once again, thanks everyone.
Re: Frightening Situation!!!!
Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2002 12:12 am
by B'smom
My petite daughter came home from preschool the other day and told us at the dinner table that a boy punched her two times.She apparently told the teacher,who told the boy"thats not nice".Well he went and did it again!I told my daughter next time a boy hits you ,give him a good kick in the shins. If he hits you again,kick higher and I doubt he will bother you again.My son who has obpi and is 3 is even more petite and very sensitive. I worry about him alot. I plan on getting both kids into karate in the future. I think just having the air of self confidence helps alot too.
PS.My husband wasnt to thrilled with the advice I gave our daughter.I was picked on alot as a child and I wish I knew I could fight back.
Re: Frightening Situation!!!!
Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2002 11:17 am
by pattisy
I just read your post and was infuriated!Iwas happy to see all the support for you and your son, but so few addressed the bullies. I'm glad you followed up with the school but I would suggest continuing. I work in an alternative educational setting and many of my students are bullies, whether verbally or physically. Learning DOES occur in schools! And your school should address this issue HARD. Unfortunately, too many schools do not address bullying in an effective manner. Bullying is not to be tolerated in any way. If your school says these boys were "good boys who made a poor decision" they are full of ___! No good boys bullies another! You should expect your school district to have a "zero tolerance" to bullies, have an established anti-bullying curriculum including sensitivity activities, and to involve parents of bullies in meetings immediately following an incident. Your child's classroom/school should be a safe place. If all methods fail and the bullying continues, your school district should be removing these boys from the class. They do have alternative placements for them, no matter what they say. Sorry I was so vehement! I feel strongly about this topic, as I get the tail end of these "good boys" making poor decisions who were allowed to continue their bullying throughout elementary school into the high school. By this age habits and behaviors are well-formed and VERY difficult to change.